O show me a mind and I'll boggle it
Monday, July 12, 2010 at 04:44PM 
Photo Jennifer Weber 2010Recently I changed my home page from Yahoo to Bing because I was wasting so much time clicking on Yahoo story links, it was becoming counterproductive.
How many times can you gawk at and mentally rate mostly-dreadful celebrity red carpet outfits?
(Yes! I know "mostly-dreadful" modifies "celebrity" and not "outfits" in the sentence preceding this one. That's how I meant it!)
Or read about a new diet that promises you'll lose ten pounds a week if you can manage to consume only cod liver oil, jalapeno peppers, and saltine crackers?
Or how to clean anything off your upholstered furniture using only plain water, an old stretched-out scrunchie, and a toothpick?
Or become a millionaire by saving two pennies per week, and soaking them in a sauce of vinegar and turpentine with a dash of baby powder?
I have difficulty resisting stories like those.
Homepage Versus Search Engine
I would holler for Erica to c'mere! and we couldn't rest until we'd critiqued every red-carpet-event designer, decolletage, hemline, color, fit, style, shoe, bauble, and hair/makeup worn by Hollyweird's current lineup of starlets, divas, ingenues, bimbomuffins, studflakes, and wannabes.
Photo Jennifer Weber 2008It was singularly pathetic and I'm ashamed to tell you it mattered to me, even for a split second.
Bing, on the other hand, with its single stunning daily photograph and subtle storyline prods at the bottom, is not only classier and leaner, more noiselessly cerebral … it's also much less intrusive on my clearly too-impressionable psyche.
I still use Google's search engine, though. Sorry Bing; in my opinion it's unequaled for ease of use and depth of results.
Besides, saying you Googled someone is way more fun than saying you Binged them. If they just read it and didn't hear you pronounce it, the Binged party might think you said "binged" as rhymes with "hinged" or "tinged" instead of with "dinged" or "ringed" and that's just … strange.
It simply won't do.
Nevertheless, this morning I spied Bing's storyline teasers and couldn't help but click on the one about the FBI's apprehension of the "barefoot bandit."
Now, I still don't know what that's about and could not possibly care less. I mean, they didn't even specify what or who he was wearing. Is his bad barefoot self clad in Armani, Ralph Lauren, Bill Blass? Classic tux or deconstructed Depp-esque cool?
We may never know.
The Barefoot Bandit Causes A Stir
What stopped me cold was this tagline included in one of three search results: "Colton Harris-Moore, aka the 'Barefoot Bandit,' has becoming something of an outlaw folk hero as he continues to allude authorities in a catch-me-if-can crime spree."
Photo Jennifer Weber 2008Continues to allude authorities. Has becoming. Catch-me-if-can.
And this from a supposed "journalist" at the ultra-progressiliberal Huffington Post.
Of course I had to follow the link in order to learn the identity of the buffoon propped up as a "writer" at HuffPo … and send him/her an informative email … but perhaps understandably, there was no byline.
Then I got stopped dead in my tracks by the first comment on the item:
What journalism school did this writer attend, the Sean Hannity School of Journalism at Bob Jones University?
OK … wait just one cotton-picking minute.
Come On ... Line 'Em Up And Let's Compare
I don't pretend to promote attendance at Bob Jones University. But academics-wise, you could put their students up against any graduates of State-funded institutions, and you're going to find that the BJ students -- Academy or University -- can read and comprehend and conjugate with at least the same degree of facility as their public-school peers.
In most cases they'll be miles ahead. This is documented. As in test scores.
I do believe that even a freshman janitorial major at BJU could put together a paragraph better than the one with which the HuffPo "writer" burdened the journalistic world.
Because, see, a one-celled amoeba with dyslexia and an inferiority complex could do that.
Photo Jennifer Weber 2010I don't watch Sean Hannity and wouldn't call myself a fan, but I think he's a great American. He knows the truth and is not afraid to speak out. He's a smart man. Even so, he doesn't claim to be a journalist of any stripe. He's a commentator; a political pundit. Big difference.
No matter; this particular HuffPo commenter wasn't going to let facts get in the way of his opinion that if you're blithering fool enough to think that to allude is to give the slip, you must also be a conservative.
So … conservative equals stupid?
In what universe?
Only in Liberal La-La Loopy-Stupey Land.
Liberalism Damages The Brain
That conservatives are all at once vying for the title of Collective Village Idiot, fighting for the right to wear the Dunce Cap, is what liberals want you to believe. That's what suits their twisted purposes.
Photo Jennifer Weber 2010Since when do conservatives write for the left-wing-loon Huffington Post anyway? I wouldn't think their big toes -- much less their news items or opinion pieces or even their oatmeal cookie recipes -- would be welcome inside the cyberdoor.
Let me tell you something. Liberal equals severely retarded. Like, people who do not have the ability to learn, however slowly.
(Sorry if that's not PC enough for you. In case you've forgotten, you click out the same way you clicked in. Hasta luego. Bon chance. Auf wiedersehen. See ya.)
Still here? Excellent! Let us continue.
As in, all logic, all attempts at helping liberal progressives to understand even the most elemental truths, eludes even the most dogmatic and pragmatic and sympathetic of teachers.
I've said it before and I'll say it again in case you weren't paying attention: I would rather my four children be illiterate (which they most decidedly are not) than for any one of them to have spent even one day as a student in a public school or university, being taught by knee-jerk libs.
Because when you send a kid off to school, it's less about academics than about philosophy of life.
Like the philosophy of life which gave rise to the taxpayer-funded program that will supply kindergarten through fifth grade students with condoms beginning this fall at Veterans Memorial Elementary School in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Parents may not opt their children out of the program.
I said kindergarten. Through fifth grade. Now who's stupid?
Photo Jennifer Weber 2010The best education is given and gotten at home, anyway. TV off; book in hand. Biblical literacy as touching all issues. Firm but loving discipline. Consistent character training. Full advantage taken of teachable moments. Family vacations that include not only fun, but opportunities for awareness of our place in history.
Learning happens as you sit in your house and walk in the way and lie down and rise up. You get the idea.
With all the shortcomings of the private Christian school and the independent fundamental Bible college (and believe me, there are many, and I am not blind to them … au contraire), they are a far better choice than any State-sanctioned "education" your tax dollars -- or any other kind of dollars -- can buy.
And you know what else I've said and would now like to iterate?
I'd rather be dead than a liberal.
I'd rather never have lived, experienced all my earthly joys, loved with my whole heart, been a wife and mother, known the eternal God and become His child, reveled in His glorious creation -- than to have been born and spent a single day as a liberal.
So Much To Be Grateful For
Photo Jennifer Weber 2010Thank God, I eluded liberalism. I gave the slip to its certain slow, agonizing, cruel demise of character, morality, wisdom, purity, knowledge, truth, beauty, love … indeed, the very essence of life.
Catch me if you can, liberals!
But here's a piece of news you won't read in HuffPoor:
You can't. Because for all the unfortunate anomalies inevitably to be found in any group or belief system, conservatives are by and large the brightest lights in a sign liberals can't even read.
And now for your enjoyment and the final nail in the conservatives-are-stupid coffin: I'll mail you a round-trip plane ticket to Paris if you can identify a single card-carrying conservative in this clip of Jay Leno interviewing people on the street a couple of weeks ago.
(Yeah, that's me, profiling. Deal with it.)
The black grandfather may be the only exception. Too bad he was unable or unwilling to pass his rudimentary knowledge of this great country's birth on to his children and grandchildren.
~ Q.E.D. ~
Reader Comments (13)
I said QED to my mechanic one day as we were having one of our lively discussions and he told me to stop talking dirty. I love your forthrightness on all things political. Do you sometimes think we are down the rabbit-hole lately? And that the six impossible things before breakfast are coming from Congress?
Sue O ... LOL there's nothing more satisfying than saying QED! with alacrity when the situation merits it! As to all things political, we've got the wrong Alice. Everyone in Washington is mad as a hatter and in the grips of the horrid red queen.
Off with their heads.
We'll certainly do six impossible things before breakfast -- including slaying Barack Jabberwocky Obama and his minions ... on election days 2010 and 2012!
Whenever I see these interviews on the street, I am appalled! I can't believe how poor the general knowledge is of history or things like current political figures. It's really sad! And - I would put a conservative up against a liberal any day!
I use the swagbucks search engine. It earns swagbucks which can be turned in for gift certificates. I'm saving up for Christmas!
Mari, I remember when you blogged about Swagbucks! I failed to check it out but I will do it today! I need me some money for Christmas ... it's coming at us like a loaded locomotive.
Crikey girls, go easy on the Christmas thing, wouldya?
I love "Jay Walking". Hubby and I never cease to be amazed a the ignorance of some Americans. It's sad, but it is also funny at the same time.
As to the Huffington Post, far be it from me to defend them, but I have actually read some good articles there that I agreed with, and I am Conservative almost leaning to Libertarian on some things. Even Ariana Huffington herself is fed up with Obama.
As to homepages, I don't really have one. I generally have at least 6 "tabs" open at all times. I guess Google would be the homepage if I had to choose.
BRAVO!!!!! I admire your spunk. I would rather be dead than liberal too. I continue to be shocked at the stupidity and untruths that come out of their mouths.
Sue O ... don't look now but Christmas is practically here! It's tapping you on the shoulder! Get ready! LOLOL naw, you have till after Labor Day to think Christmas.
Debbie ... I used to have lots of tabs open before I got my iMac, and now it's a bit different because I just swipe over the mouse and all the web sites I've visited flow by. My homepage is merely a launching pad! Now as to HuffPo, I just have no use for it. I think Arianna is a nut. But you're more knowledgeable about these things than I!
Donna M. ... amen girl! Shocking is just the start; then we have to live with the fallout of libs' outrageous actions. It's time to act, swift and sure. Throw 'em out of power.
Wow.
Did a college instructor -- someone who, regardless of whether it's a university or state school or junior college or technical school, must at least have a HS diploma and an undergraduate degree -- say our country gained its independence in 1922???
Wow. Just...wow. She almost made that "General Churchill" guy sound smart.
Kev ... oh, I know. Can you believe? The chick in the pink outfit ... Jennifer? ... blew me away with her ignorance. Where in the sam hill did she get the date 1922? Just thin air, I guess. Maybe she thought that was the year General Churchill first discovered America.
Love that video as well! Great post Girl!
The "way" of Communism is to tear down Any group that does Not agree with their policies of social justice. Now they're playing the racism card...It's their "way"...We've got a real fight on our hands After the November elections...from Nov to Dec 31st. You just Think it's bad now...hide and watch what they try in Congress AND in the streets...geez...They Know they are loosing and desperation is beginning to set in...God help us all...
hughugs
@Jenny: At the very least, this proves something I've always wondered. Apparently, stupid people are blissfully unaware of their stupidity. Common sense says that, if you are a moron, and you see someone with a camera crew walking around interviewing people, you turn away and run. He's going to interview you. He's going to ask you questions. You won't know the answers and you'll look stupid in front of millions of people. Run!
But no, these people smile, give out their FULL NAME, and think: "Golly gee, am I on television?? I hope the guy with the microphone asks me what year we gained our independence. 1922 -- the same year Louis Armstrong walked on the moon and George Washington invented the peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
Donna, you're right as usual on all points. We've got to turn this thing around before it's too late. One thing's for sure: we won't shut up or back down!
Kev, so right. WHY ON EARTH would you want to be interviewed by Jay Leno on the fourth of July if you don't even know what country we gained independence FROM? My guess is that at such times, people's egos take over and their already seriously challenged brain CELL (with the IQ of plankton) simply refuses to clue them in that it's time to turn tail and run.
Yes and sooner or later you're gonna eat one of them sammiches General Washington invented, and wash it down with that beverage Ben Franklin invented, when he wasn't busy being to electricity what Algore was to the Internet ... oh yeah ... Coke Zero!