Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Columbia Cemetery

To read my articles, click HERE! And don't forget to subscribe.

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Thursday
Apr302009

Obama Man Can, Y'all

This requires no introduction ...

... and no commentary, except to say that I like this because these days, if I don't laugh, I'll cry.

And laughing is much more better!  Satisfying and delicious ... you can even eat the dishes.

Thursday
Apr302009

Beautiful? You Decide.

It has been well documented that I am not often rendered speechless.

However.

When it was brought to my attention this morning that People has published a new 100-Most-Beautiful list and two names (and faces) in particular are on it, I couldn't think of a thing to say for, like, fifteen whole seconds.  The silence was deafening.

Happily, I recovered.

People (and People) ... Turbo-Tax Tim Geithner and First Malady Michelle Obama? On a list of booful peoples? My retinae are burning! In what lobotomized society would this fly one inch off the ground?

Of all the terms of language we've been forced to redefine, a beautiful word like "beautiful" is now one of them?

Help me. I think I've died and gone to where I know I'll never go.

Folks.  Look.

Beautiful black woman:

Beautiful black woman: 

Not a beautiful black woman:

Beautiful white man:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Beautiful white man:

 Not a beautiful white man:

And y'all, it has nothing to do with politics, or even airbrushing. It has everything to do with facial features.

The world has become an insane asylum. Not just the Spanish Main, luv ... the entire world!  The derelict denizens of the Oblahma-crazed mainstream media are the wardens.  I think it's time for my lithium. 

They're coming to take me away.  Thanks for listening.

 

Tuesday
Apr282009

Charmin' Garmin

On Monday morning I was tooling down the road toward Manning, South Carolina, which is a little less than one hundred miles from my home. The deposition was set to begin at ten o'clock. It was a beautiful day and since I had plenty of time to reach my destination, I stopped at one of our lovely roadside rest areas to stretch my legs and freshen up.

As I exited the ladies room and headed for my car, I saw a female employee of the Palmetto State polishing one of the glass doors leading to the parking lot. She looked up and caught my eye, so naturally I give her a big smile and said "Good morning!"

Got GPS?

She sort of smiled back but instead of returning my greeting, she waved her cleaning rag and told me I was going the wrong way.

Huh?

I looked through the sparkling door. Grass. Trees. Picnic tables. Trash barrels. A person walking a dog.

No cars.

A concrete picnic table wouldn't get me to Manning; I knew that right off. I've never learned to drive one. And I figured the dog probably wasn't fast enough.

I laughed when I realized -- pretty quickly, I am happy to report -- that I'd turned the wrong way out of the ladies room door. I thanked the nice worker for pointing out my error, did a one-eighty, and there was my car sitting right where I had left it.

What a relief! I'm fairly ditzy and consequently do not take serendipitous outcomes lightly.

I was a couple of feet out into the sunshine when a man in front of me on the sidewalk turned around and grinned real big.

"Get confused comin' outta there, didja?" He asked in a friendly way.

"Yeah, story of my life," I admitted. "If there's a hard way to do a thing, I'll find it."

"You got GPS?" he wanted to know.

To find my way back to my car from the ladies room? Uhm, no.

I told him I was usually the last woman in the Western Hemisphere to acquire new technology, and that I still relied on MapQuest to get me where I needed to go in South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, and even points beyond.

Assume nothing.

He gestured in the direction of his vehicle, which turned out to be a white van. "I deliver caskets, and I couldn't do it without my GPS," he assured me.

I glanced at the van and could see through the back windows that there were indeed a couple of caskets nestled cozily there.

"I got mine at the pawn shop," he said.

I assumed he meant his GPS and not a casket, but I figured I'd best make sure. "A Garmin?" I asked him. (Even I know Garmin makes GPS's and not coffins.)

"Yeah, a Garmin," he said. "My daughter-in-law stole a bunch of our stuff and pawned it awhile ago, and when I went to get some of it back, the GPS caught my eye. Best hundred fifty dollars I ever spent. You should tell your husband to get you one."

Duly noted. Next time TG and I visit a hock shop (which will be the first time), I'll check out the GPS units. I may even ask if they happen to have a casket, because in this "terrible" economy and pigs flying (swine flew!) all over the place distributing potentially deadly cooties, you never know when you might need a bargain-basement deal on a coffin.

I located Manning without incident and without a GPS, by the way ... found it sleepy and charming as ever, "Matchless for Beauty and Hospitality" ... right where it's been since 1856.

And while "Assume Nothing" is my sometime-mantra, I assume the caskets were delivered right on schedule as well. Wherever they ended up, I hope they sit empty for a long, long time.

Thursday
Apr232009

The Subject Was Peaches

By the time I was your age I was in the coffee business nine years. ~John Cleary, The Subject Was Roses by Frank Daniel Gilroy

Of course I like her! She's a peach! ~George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life

I rather crave violence. ~Jo March, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Just peachy, Mr. Shooter. How are you? ~Mort Rainey, Secret Window

Who ate the last of the peach cobbler? ~Me

It's a cryin' shame. ~Astute four-year-old boy, son of a South Carolina lawyer

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On Wednesday (where I live we pronounce that word "winsdy") I reported the deposition of a young man embroiled in a sticky bit of litigation stemming from the purchase-gone-awry of some peach orchards and an adjacent packing and shipping operation.

I used the opportune moment to wolf Nip-Chee crackers and quaff copious amounts of Diet Coke.

Sound like a nickel-and-dime dispute to you? Nope. This here was a seven-figure deal, gone further south than a moss-draped bayou. Hence the acrimonious lawsuit.

I like money okay, and often fantasize about it, but say the word "peach" and my mouth commences watering. Immediately. The mere thought of a sun-ripened, fuzzy-blushy, pinky-gold, firmy-soft, tangy-fragrant, succulent South Carolina peach practically makes me forget ...

I can't even remember what it makes me forget. Large fortunes? Johnny Depp? Oh, wait ... the two are synonymous. And both quite peachy.

All I know is, I want the peach strings in my teeth and the peach juice dripping off my chin. And elbows. And I want it now.

Our (understandably) somewhat tense deponent -- a young peach farmer who is also a devoted husband and the father of baby twins -- told me during a break that the peaches will be ready "on May 20th."

Duly memorialized on my calendar. And etched on the inside of my skull. Nobody better get between me and the nearest farm stand on twentyo de Mayo.

Back to our legal proceeding, which featured long stretches off the record so that the plaintiff and his attorneys could pow-wow out of earshot. I used the opportune moment to, in a ladylike manner, wolf Nip-Chee crackers and quaff copious amounts of Diet Coke (I'd had no breakfast; just coffee). Between crunches and slurps, I asked the remaining two gentlemen in the room to tell me about their children.

The twins can't talk yet, so our guest of honor had no anecdotes to share apart from the fact that they are "cute." Duh. His sweet smile, though, when he talked about them, told me all I needed to know. The wee tykes won't want for love. Or, apparently, peaches.

I was tired of sitting still. I wished for some excitement.

But the attorney of the young man who will soon celebrate his first Father's Day was glad to share a few recent utterances of his own little son, whom I quoted above. The one about something being "a cryin' shame." I could tell by the look in his eyes (and the goofy grin on his face) that the legal eagle was mighty proud of his eaglet's early command of southern slang.

As it should be.

Amongst all this misty-eyed talk of young'uns (yes, I slipped in a few doting-mamaw comments about my grandkids), what I thought was a cryin' shame -- besides the fact that the peaches won't be ready for another month -- was that no fisticuffs erupted between our witness and his adversary, who was in silent and watchful attendance.

Into the third hour of his testimony, the model deponent -- calm, courteous, credible, clear of speech, unflappable -- began to show cracks in what had been pretty impressive composure. After all, the fellow who had done him wrong was sitting three feet away, giving him the evil eye the whole time. And occasionally making faces.

When he wasn't scribbling notes on a yellow pad and showing them to a member of his legal team.  All perfectly normal and above-board.

I guess you'll think I'm mean or something, but all I was, was bored.  Weary and still hungry, I was tired of sitting still. I wished for some excitement. So I surreptitiously eyed first the witness, then the other guy, then the witness again, watching for signs of emerging testosterone-driven redneck hostility.

You might say I was keen for it.  Peachy-keen.

For a few breathless seconds -- when the deponent recounted that his former friend had "lied to my face about the deal even when I took him out and paid for the beer and wings" and the other guy was looking daggers in reply -- I thought there was a peach slice of a chance. But then the moment passed, uneventful.

It was the pits. And a cryin' shame.

Tuesday
Apr212009

Innocent.  Life.

Yo dawg ... I am so down with Twitter.

As a potential time-waster the twittersphere ranks right up there with Johnny Depp fansites and computer Solitaire, but it can be used to good effect. And believe me, one who is logging on a half-dozen times a day and paying attention can sometimes glean an important insight from a 140-character-or-less tweet.

But this wasn't one of those times.

When in a random search I entered the term "pro-life" (looking for like-minded Twitterers to follow), I found many pro-aborts whining opining that pro-lifers are ignorant hypocrites.  Why?  Because frequently their anti-abortion stand coexists peaceably with a conviction that the death penalty is decidedly not cruel and unusual punishment when warranted by the circumstances and carried out according to law.

Seems a no-brainer to my simple way of thinking.

Despite its predictable ubiquity among libs, this tired old "argument" -- stale as last December's fruitcake -- never ceases to astound me.

I drape the word "argument" in quotation marks because while I think these people believe they are posing a valid point, the premise is so untenable that it barely counts as the real thing. As apples-to-apples types of things go, this comparison is weak at best and ludicrous at worst.

*stands at mid-ring and grabs microphone that descends from ceiling*

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to tonight's prizefight! In this corner, wearing nothing but its birthday suit, we have a teensy-weensy unborn baby contending for the title! He could have been somebody!

In the other corner, wearing an orange jumpsuit, we have the challenger: a convicted serial murderer! He came, he saw, he tortured and killed his fellow man!

In a moment the bell will sound and they'll come out swinging! The winner gets to go on living! The loser takes the big dirt nap!

I'm rooting for the little unborn baby to live. I do not care if the murderer dies. In fact, I prefer it. Seems a no-brainer to my simple way of thinking, but then I was not "educated" at a fancy Ivy League school or, for that matter, any stripe of a liberal state university.

For which I thank God every day.

The "intellectual" libs (ever learning yet never coming any nearer to the truth) are on their feet ringside, cheering for the likes of Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Marie Noe, John Wayne Gacy, David Berkowitz, Aileen Wuornos, Richard Speck, Charles Manson, Michael Swango, Marybeth Tinning, Gary Leon Ridgway, Eddie Gein, Albert DeSalvo ... and their despicable murderous ilk, ad nauseam, ad infinitum.

It is not hypocritical to be pro-life and, at the same time, pro-death penalty.

(Not a single abortionist in the above list of names ... and they're the most prolific serial killers the world has ever known. Collectively, they make Adolf Hitler look like a rank amateur. And yet, nobody's doing a 20/20 segment or an episode of Notorious about them.)

Make no mistake: the libs want that baby dead ... the baby who, having committed no crime apart from existing in the first place (through no fault or effort of its own), is presumed guilty from the word go and summarily consigned to a merciless agony of death with nary an advocate to plead its case.

It never heard its Miranda rights. It never got its phone call. It had no defense counsel, no offer of a plea bargain, no bail hearing, no psychological evaluation, no trial (fair or otherwise), no jury of its peers, no insanity defense, no family members in the gallery, no probation, no commuted sentence, no appeal, no pardon, no last (or first) meal, no last (or first) words, no forgiveness, no prayers, no chance.  No rights whatsoever.

The pro-aborts want that baby to be swiftly executed in ways so unspeakable, they refuse to speak of them and won't hesitate to vilify anyone who does. They don't want to see pictures of the finished product, either. I mean, why confuse yourself with images of tiny baby parts lying in bloody heaps alongside surgical instruments? So tiresome when you just know you're in the right on the issue of this "tissue."

But they picket and protest and hold spooky candlelight vigils while hollering about the "inhumane" ways in which we rid society of psychotic bloodthirsty criminals -- the ones guilty of remorselessly hunting men, women, and children like animals, snuffing out human lives in the most heinous, vile, humiliating, and painful ways imaginable -- who are required to "suffer" being put to sleep in a sterile room with a comfy pillow beneath their heads.

If I think about it for too long, my own sanity will soon be nothing but a chalk outline on the pavement.

I'll never be smart enough to figure that one out.

I suggest leveling the playing field. If the pro-aborts are happy and proud about the incredibly savage way that little babies are put to death in America -- one every 23 seconds, more than 50 million since abortion infanticide was legalized -- then I think it only fair that criminals convicted of offenses worthy of the death penalty under our laws, be subjected to a mode of death identical to that which the innocent babies are obliged to endure.

Maybe when the scissors are poised at the base of the death row criminals' skulls and the giant turkey-baster at the ready to suck their brains out, and their limbs are about to be torn from their torsos -- without benefit of anesthetic or even a tranquilizer, while their executioners enjoy full protection of the law -- unborn babies will be safe in America once more.

It is not hypocritical to be pro-life and, at the same time, pro-death penalty. It makes perfect sense. The mindset I cannot comprehend is the one that is vehemently pro-abortion but dogmatically anti-capital punishment.

I'll never be smart enough to figure that one out. In a different situation the fact of my ignorance might rankle me, but in this case, I gladly embrace it. I think it's the only intelligent thing to do.