Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

I Knew You'd Warm Up To Me (recent scribblings)
Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Thursday
Jun302011

A decade of devotion

Joel and Stephanie

June 30, 2001

One inch into this thousand-mile journey

Your step beside makes softer the hard road;

One minute into this time of greedy song

I am convinced no other theme will do, but you.

That all things converge where your face begins,

And nothing ends until your eyes say it ends;

That if two lips could yearn more for another

Two lips, I know it could not be mine, because

My mouth craves the pressure of your own, in

Glaring day, dusky twilight and deep night;

Wrong, right, and every uncertainty between

There is no fret of doubt. Only recognition.

One moment into eternity's cache of sure living

My hand in yours, let fears and years fall away.

 

 
Tuesday
Jun282011

Long live the lagniappe

Sorry I can't do the iconic circumflex over the o, but I just need to say that I do so love it when Lancome Paris is "in gift."

Such a gallic way of saying "If you buy something we'll give you something for free."

Circumflex or no, I know that under normal circumstances, it's nearly impossible to beat the house.

But somehow -- maybe it's the fact that, back in the late '80s, they gave me a baguette (the bread kind, not the diamond kind) for buying a mascara, and I am significantly impressed by food -- when Lancome is in gift they truly make me feel as though I'm getting something for nothing.

This from a woman who just paid twenty-five fifty for a pirate eyeliner (Le Stylo contour yeux longue tenue)!

But it's very good pirate eyeliner. Waterproof in accordance with any self-respecting pirate prerequisite. Tres magnifique Lancome!

Of course the purchase of the eyeliner wasn't enough to get me the freebie, so I had to get a concealer (Maquicomplet anticernes a couvrance totale) too.

Another twenty-nine fifty.

Don't judge!

I needed both things -- rather desperately if you want to know the truth -- because I'd just as soon poke my eye out as be seen in public without eyeliner on it and concealer beneath it.

So I played along.

Besides, I will still be using that eyeliner and that concealer when we're, oh, roughly two hundred days closer to throwing Obama out of office.

They may not last "forever" but primo beauty products get you closer to happy-days-are-here-again time than, say, drugstore cosmetics are likely to do.

As a nice bonus they make you look better on the way.

And for my trouble?

I got me a haul of a cuuuuuute little French blue and yellow Riviera Collection tote bag, three face creams, a tiny bottle of serum, and a two-ounce cleanser. Creme Radiance no less!

That my friends happens to be the Cadillac of facial cleansers.

Shut my mouth! It really really WAS a good deal.

And even if you don't wear makeup and never go within hollering distance of the Lancome counter, did you even know the word lagniappe before today?

Didja? Be honest or no baguette for you. Not that there's any left.

Oh and in other news, clearly Claudine (no doubt a Francophile like me, but still) suffers from a latent King Kong complex.

C'est la vie.

Monday
Jun272011

Sugar in the mornin'

It is a well-known and more-than-adequately documented fact that I have a sweet tooth roughly the size of, like, that part of Alaska where we're not allowed to drill.

I always wake up hungry and it's a battle choosing breakfast food. Because I always want something sweet although sweets are not always available in my house.

Always always always.

So as I'm making coffee this morning I think: Cinnamon Toast.

No, not the disgusting cereal. The actual food.

How I love it.

You take some good multi-grain bread, very rich and textured. You spread it with a thin scrim of real butter, then lightly sprinkle on the cin-sug mixture. Bake on the toaster oven rack without the tray.

I have this sprinkler jar that used to be a candle. I couldn't wait to use up the candle so I'd have this cunning sprinkler jar. Yes, I know you can buy sprinkler jars without candles in them but I thought this was clever.

Just looking at the aforementioned cin-sug mingled in there makes me thrill.

Now I will say that growing up, we never made cinnamon toast this way.

What we did was, we turned on the oven broiler. I seriously doubt we owned a toaster but it didn't matter because that was no good for cinnamon toast anyway.

We got out a cookie sheet and put our bread on it. Not multi-grain; this was in the '60s but well before the granola generation healthified bread for the masses.

In other words: White bread, y'all.

We slathered our bread with margarine (never did we have real butter), then took a spoon and dipped it into the sugar bowl.

Next we loaded our bread with ridges of sugar, the more the better.

Then we got our cinnamon, which came in a little tin oblong of a box with a plastic top equipped with open circles and a crescent for either shaking or spooning.

Making sure that spooning-crescent thing was firmly closed, then purposefully poising the box directly over our butter sugar bread, we hit its bottom until obscene amounts of cinnamon dotted the landscape in the form of brownish-red clumps.

Some people thought it was all in the wrist. As in, a gentle side-to-side shaking motion over the sugar. Whatever. I was too impatient for such niceties.

In my opinion if you did it right, the cookie sheet sported a white-and-reddish-brown outline of what would ultimately be your toast. Sort of like crime-scene paint sprayed on the sidewalk.

We popped the whole thing under the broiler and it immediately started smelling ridiculously good.

When the sugar was bubbling and the cinnamon had gone dark-brown and gooey, and the edges of the bread all golden from that happy marriage with the margarine, we grabbed a potholder and retrieved our masterpiece.

Oh how it was to lift your slice of cinnamon toast, still soft on the bottom so that your fingers made big craters in it, but all crusty on the top with what we now know was the caramelization process.

You consumed it lustily, quickly, trying so hard not to burn your tongue, washing everything down with cold milk.

Rustic. Elemental. Almost primitive in its unbridled lusciousness.

Forget the cin-sug mixture in the ersatz candle jar! Forget the toaster oven!

I think I'll make my breakfast the right way tomorrow.

Friday
Jun242011

Lean mean Claudine

So the other day Erica came home to spend a week with us.

She's helping her dad with a special project during the day.

In the evenings she swims with us and watches movies with us and goes to the grocery store with us (for necessities such as lime sherbet and sugar wafers) and in general keeps her aged parrots a very excellent kind of company.

I am sad to report she is leaving tomorrow for the Peach State where she resides.

However, in a few days we're all going up to Ohio to visit with my recently-widowed mother-in-law, so we'll have much more together-time before school starts.

(Erica teaches fifth grade at Peoples Baptist Academy in McDonough, Georgia.)

Anyway it wasn't long after the Boo arrived that I noticed this wee stuffed ... thing on my kitchen table.

It bore the almost-unBEARable cuteness associated with Boyds Bears, which I have been known to sort of collect because if there is one thing I have a great deal of difficulty resisting, it is a bear in a hat.

But this little furry thing flopped over on my table -- sporting a tag identifying "her" simply as Claudine -- didn't look like any bear I'd ever seen.

First of all, there is her prehensile tail.

Now, far be it from me to comment on anyone's caboose, but if you've ever known a bear to have a tail as long as its arm, I would like to know where you saw it.

And what you were smoking.

Then there are her whiskers, which can only be described as unsettlingly longish.

Leading me to believe Claudine is a cat. A cat-bear? Or maybe just one of those creatures included in the and Friends part of Boyds Bears.

Turns out Claudine was on my table because she was a gift. For me.

Which is strange because if there is one thing I most decidedly am not, it is a cat person.

I speak dog. All dogs all the time is my motto -- well, one of them -- and I have the lazy Chihuahua to prove it.

Eventually it came to light that Erica sort of won Claudine -- no, not in a poker game but in, of all places, Sunday School.

I would elaborate but what would be the point? All you need to know is that we Baptists are big on giveaways.

For some reason the Boo thought Claudine would fare better in my orbit than in her own.

So that's why, when I held Claudine up to Erica and said "What's this?" Erica replied (with a sly grin) "That's for you."

Huh-kay.

And we were living peaceably until today when Claudine, out of the infinite atmosphere, began getting into all sorts of mischief.

First I caught her in the rooster bowl with the open (and half-eaten) package of sugar wafers.

Too bad I haven't got a sardine for Claudine, I thought. In other words, more appropriate Claudine cuisine.

I scowled at Claudine but she did not react. Next time I entered the kitchen she'd appropriated a jar of honey as her own personal ursine-feline perch.

I knew I was in trouble when that time, she refused to make eye contact.

But I had work to do so I left Claudine to her own devices. How much damage could she do? I reasoned.

Perhaps my laissez-faire attitude was ill-advised because practically before I could turn around, she was in -- as in, she had become part and parcel of -- our (sacrosanct) Lindt stash.

Next she snuggled innocently with some unsuspecting and entirely boring zucchini* (one vegetable that ever seems to know when it's being used).

The little darling.

Clearly a hopeless recidivist, back in with the chocolate, Claudine was later caught preparing to embrace a bottle of Parisian pink lemonade.

That time I took pains to upbraid her. "Do you want to spend the rest of your born days occupying a shoebox stuck in the back of my topmost closet shelf?" I said.

Claudine high-tailed it out of the Le Creuset (though not away from the French lemonade) and made herself smaller. I chose to read her actions as an inclination to acquiesce with the law and order we keep around here. Somewhere.

Oh yeah I'm a sucker. But in my own defense, I've had zero experience with cats.

Later still, I noticed Claudine was no longer consorting with the sugar wafers, chocolate, honey, and lemonade. Apparently she'd lost interest in the zucchini. She wasn't even on the counter anymore.

I assumed she'd retreated somewhere to think about what she'd done and consider the dark dimensions of the aforesaid shoebox, a/k/a her forwarding address.

Oh no! She'd managed to get her bad self over onto the baker's rack, where she was holding two sugar wafers hostage.

Fine thing.

Of course I took them from her! The wafers were safer with me and besides, it was either that or call a SWAT (Sugar Wafer Accountability Taskforce) team.

I didn't have time for that amount of nonsense.

Where did she turn up next, you ask?

See for yourself.

This cat is jaded, I concluded. A hardened criminal and no mistake.

Good as my word, I went to rummage for the solitary and sole-less domicile I'd promised Claudine.

Upon my return I looked for her in the popcorn bowl.

It was empty.

My eyes swiveled back to the counter.

Ah.

Claudine's a pirate.

Might've known.

That explains a lot.

She'll be sleeping in my bed tonight.

*Squash. Whatever.

Thursday
Jun232011

I see cloud people

I look at this picture and I see faces.

Two, to be exact.

A large contemplative face and a smaller, laughing, upturned face!

Faces within faces, as it were.

I do not recognize the faces and no, I'm not off either my rocker or my meds.

Actually a rocker sounds nice but I don't need meds, thanks ever so.

I am, however, hungry for validation.

Do you see them?

Please tell me you see them.