Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Columbia Cemetery

To read my articles, click HERE! And don't forget to subscribe.

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Thursday
Sep292011

SkyWatch Friday: to pierce a cloud

Apples! Have a care!

She's coming near!

Is it to bring the lily?

Is it to bring

Birds to this watery air?

You fishes, be more fond.

The small! The small!

I hear them singing!

Dove utterly,

Divergent bird,

The vine winds to its work;

She with her larchy sweetness,

Her nails brighter than shells,

She's come to pierce a cloud!

To pierce a cloud.

A cloud.

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from The Changeling by Theodore Roethke (1908-1963)

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Tuesday
Sep272011

An American in Chinatown

No! No, I had not forgotten that as of yet I haven't revealed to my faithful readers the events that put me in Pennsylvania (Lancaster County and Philadelphia) and New York City during the second week in May.

But to those of you who have haunted me with reminder emails, thanks ever so.

You might have already guessed we went to take in touristy places like the Herr's Potato Chip factory, Sight & Sound, Shady Maple, the Liberty Bell, and Geno's Steaks (slogan: This is America ~ When ordering SPEAK ENGLISH).

(And yes! We did meet Joey Vento, who I am sad to learn has since departed the mortal coil, having suffered a massive fatal heart attack on August 23, 2011. He died in his own bed after putting in a full day's work at Geno's.)

Joey personally took my sandwich order and I handed him nine dollars. He was a great and patriotic American and I am honored to have made his acquaintance, however briefly.

There is already a memorial page to Joey on Find A Grave.

Then we cruised on over to the Big Apple where we visited the Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, Grand Central Station, Rockefeller Center, Yankee Stadium, Times Square, Ground Zero, Central Park, the Staten Island Ferry, St. Patrick's Cathedral, FAO Schwarz, and roughly three thousand four hundred twenty-nine miles of sidewalk.

See these seven darling young people?

I'll take that as a yes.

Well.

Those kids worked for the trip. It was their trip. TG and I were invited along as tour guides.

It's a little more complicated than that but let's leave well enough alone.

The above photo was taken in front of the Liberty Bell, which every American should have the privilege of seeing with their own eyes. When you take its picture, as often as not it seems to have legs.

Later that same afternoon we headed for New York City and three days of classic sightseeing.

Our group eventually ended up in Chinatown.

Nope! Didn't eat there.

Didn't eat here either:

Wouldn't have minded eating here:

But didn't.

Three of the five girls in our group were obsessed with finding a place to buy knockoffs of designer purses.

As we moved down the street we were approached boldly by merchants determined to separate us from our money if not our sanity.

They have a system. You're walking along and short, slight Chinese people dressed casually in jeans come straight for you and almost make eye contact.

As they slide by, not quite touching, they mutter with a barely-recognizable tonality: You want sunglasses? You want purse? Prada, Gucci, Chanel?

Not answering is taken as a no but they lean in if given the slightest encouragement.

The girls were relentless in their begging to be taken where they could buy the handbags. Mrs. Weber ... they tried every few minutes.

Okay! I finally said. You want purses, you're going to get purses. Gird your loins.

Within seconds a thirtyish Chinese female sidled by and inquired sotto voce as to my need to buy Prada purse.

I looked right at her. Yes, I said.

People! It's like an electronic army. In less time than it would take to snap a chopstick in two, she was on the phone. A few unintelligible sounds later, she turned to me and gestured across the street.

Lady you go under yellow sign, they tell you what to do.

Talk about your social networking.

(Y'all understand it's illegal to sell -- and, I presume, to buy -- knockoff merchandise bearing trademarked names and logos, don't you?)

(Just wanted to make sure you knew the danger level.)

Conscience and law-abiding sensibilities temporarily laid aside for the sake of expediency, I swanned across the street. My eager contingent followed close at my heels and we entered a doorway under the yellow sign.

Another frail Chinese female sauntered over and addressed me. How many lady?

These three plus me, I replied, waving my hand toward the girls.

We were told to wait and look around at a preponderance of kitsch but we just waited.

A few minutes later we were directed through the rear of the minuscule store and back outside. We were told to walk down a steep flight of steel steps and make a right.

As we descended I sensed nervousness behind me. One of the girls whispered: Mrs. Weber are you sure this is okay?

I didn't whisper back. I used my outside voice. Oh yeah, I assured her. They won't mess with me, I promise.

And they wouldn't, either.

So after arriving in what amounted to a small courtyard we were ushered into a windowless, amenity-less room measuring approximately twenty by ten. The walls were lined with hundreds of purses. We were not offered fortune cookies.

The tiny young Chinese man presiding over the selection and sales process urged us to hurry as the girls dithered over this bag and that.

As for me, I was drawn to one fake Chanel that didn't scream Tacky Tourist From South Carolina. At least, I didn't think so. But it was too expensive. I can't even remember how much but way, way too much.

After all I own a Kate Spade and it's not a knockoff. A few Dooney Bourkes dot my pursey past as well. Let's avoid lowering our standards this late in the game, shall we?

I know you want to know what happened and I wish it were more exciting but the bald truth is: Nothing.

Except those three girls dropped enough good old American currency to buy me a few more authentic Kate Spades and left that place thrilled to pieces, seemingly unaware they'd just been run through an innocently no-frills but terribly efficient Chinese laundry.

The law paid us no mind.

To this day the only Chanel reticules I own -- or am likely to own -- are of the paper shopping gift-bag variety but I will have you know my collection is more than decent.

I did buy a purse in Chinatown, however -- for Erica, whose birthday was approaching -- and a tote bag as a gift for someone else. Total spent: not quite thirty dollar, lady.

May you fare so well when you find yourself cast in the role of an American in Chinatown.

Saturday
Sep242011

And now for something unbearably weird

OK I'm just going to step right up and say it: This commercial creeps me out.

In fact, the creepiness quotient is almost equal to the progressiliberal enviro-whacko green quotient.

And come to think of it I'm undecided as to which is worse.

So I'm glad Toyota's using this convoluted mass of left-wing humanity to push the Pious Prius and not something I would actually drive.

And if you didn't like that, click out! Quickly! Shoo! There there. You'll soon recover.

I've posted this next one before but for the sake of contrast, this is the sort of commercial I like:

Happy weekend!

Spend at least part of it investing in someone you love.

Thursday
Sep222011

SkyWatch Friday: a blue and gold mistake

These are the days when Birds come back --

A very few -- a Bird or two --

To take a backward look.

These are the days when skies resume

The old -- old sophistries of June --

A blue and gold mistake.

Oh fraud that cannot cheat the Bee --

Almost thy plausibility

Induces my belief.

Till ranks of seeds their witness bear --

And softly thro' the altered air

Hurries a timid leaf.

Oh Sacrament of summer days,

Oh Last Communion in the Haze --

Permit a child to join.

Thy sacred emblems to partake --

Thy consecrated bread to take

And thine immortal wine!

by Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

Tuesday
Sep202011

On the high road with Rambo

For the past several summers our son, Andrew, has worked as a counselor at Mount Moriah Christian Camp and Conference Center in Powell, Tennessee.

This summer he was elevated to the position of Director of Youth Camps.

If Andrew thought he was busy in previous seasons, these latest hot-as-a-just-born-biscuit camp weeks put a whole new spin on the concept of slammed to the moon.

But that kid, my kid Andrew? Shot out of a cannon. Born going ninety miles an hour standing still. His metabolism may be the eighth wonder of the world.

At the end of an endless day he still has enough energy in reserve to power a third-world country for more than a skinny minute.

In the many-faceted planning stages leading up to the first salvo of 2011 campers disembarking dusty church buses at Mount Moriah, Andrew told me he had obtained clearance from higher-ups to locate and secure possession of the perfect "camp dog."

Oh boy, I thought. Oh dog.

It didn't take long. A few phone calls, a couple of trips throughout the surrounding countryside for look-sees, and there was Rambo.

Done and done.

The family who owned the fully-grown Labrador were moving and could not keep him. Although heartbroken at losing their pet, they were determined to arrange for him an idyllic new life with a devoted new owner.

There was a young boy in the home. He could not look at Andrew or speak when it was time for Rambo to go. Tears clouded Andrew's eyes as he drove away with the prize, but I imagine a glint of love and triumph dewed them as well.

Because Rambo IS the pluperfect camp dog. In addition to being Andrew's boon companion, he spent the summer allowing himself to be mauled more or less constantly by children of all ages.

Tail wagging languidly the whole time, placid expression on his face. Loving the life of a camp dog. Paws firmly affixed to the high road.

To say the camp children liked the camp dog is as much an understatement as saying East Tennesseeans sometimes prefer their tea chilled and a trifle on the sweet side.

They adored him. Erica paid a visit and captured images of Rambo serving as bed and pillow for kids who became so attached, they practically needed to be crowbarred from his side.

On Fridays, otherwise known to the campers as Tee Shirt Day and to the counselors as The Day These Kids Go Home, Rambo thrilled the youthful congregation in the tabernacle by trotting in last, sporting his own Mount Moriah tee shirt.

He came to my house in June and we went over the mountains to see him in July. Ramby's my granddog. I dearly love both him and his boy.

How dull and spiritless this world would be without our pets. Especially the canine kind. And God, please pour special love down on those selfless trusting awww-inducing working dogs. Like Rambo.