Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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Sunday
Feb222009

The Tortoise And The Scare

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past week, you've heard the gruesome and riveting story of (the late) Travis, the Terrifying Connecticut Chimpanzee.

Travis, for all intents and purposes, lived (and died) like a human ... in a real house with, presumably, all the creature comforts. Unlike most of us, he made Old Navy commercials. He drank iced tea from a glass. He was allowed to drive the family car. He experienced situational and/or social anxiety, for which he possibly ingested Xanax.

His caretaker was a woman who was quoted in the newspaper as having said that Travis "couldn't have been more my son than if I gave birth to him."

Vicky has perfect vision and this tortoise is cross-eyed.

Forget her terrible syntax; did you read what that woman said? Maybe we have unwittingly pinpointed poor Travis's whole problem. They say if it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Mind you, I am an animal lover. Always have been and always will be. I do not like the thought of a defenseless animal being exploited or abused in any way.

Travis, however, weighed 200 pounds and was hardwired to be aggressive. Two hundred pounds of unrestrained chimpanzee aggression is anything but defenseless ... as was sadly discovered by a family friend whom Travis mauled nearly to death before he himself was shot dead by the local lawmen.

(I would like to say here, with all due respect to Travis's victim: if a chimpanzee should rip off my face and my hands, please have a heart and leave me for dead. Consider me a DNR. Put a pretty picture of a younger, thinner me beside my rose-bedecked coffin at the funeral and talk of better days. There; I've said it and I'm not sorry.)

In a similar (sort of) vein, only absent the aggression, enter Victoria the Tortoise. Or exit Victoria the Tortoise, would perhaps be more appropriate.

Victoria, who at age seven weighs fifty pounds, hails from Charleston, South Carolina. She recently went missing. Happily, within a reasonable amount of time calls began pouring in about a tortoise answering Victoria's general description, wandering aimlessly around North Charleston. Hallelujah!

But wait. Victoria's owner, a lady named Cindy, upon being reunited with what was believed to be her pet tortoise (Because really, folks, how many 50-pound tortoises are to be found wandering the streets of Charleston at any given time?), immediately rejected the tortoise as being an impostor. Why?

She said, and I quote: "I know Vicky's face."

Now, friends ... I can't be sure about you but I would have been much more inclined to believe Cindy if she had given as a reason, for example, "This can't be Vicky. Vicky only wears red toenail polish and this tortoise is wearing pink," or "This can't be Vicky. Vicky only wears Wind Song and this tortoise has been spritzed with Chanel Number Five," or "This can't be Vicky. Vicky has perfect vision and this tortoise is cross-eyed," or "This can't be Vicky. Vicky hates onions but this tortoise reeks of them."

But no. "I know Vicky's face" was her stated reason for disbelieving that Victoria had at last been located.

While gentle, plodding Victoria presumably remains at large, let us hope she does not encounter a 200-pound Depends-clad chimpanzee with a Xanax prescription and the car keys ... or any pet owner kookier than her own dear Cindy.

Friday
Feb202009

For The Price Of Postage

How often is it that you have the opportunity to send a powerful message in the defense of innocent life, in exchange for a minute of your time and $.42? Just such a chance presents itself on Red Envelope Day, March 31, 2009.

I hope you will join me and multitudes of other pro-life advocates who are banding together to bombard President Barack Obama on that day with what we hope will be tens of millions of empty red envelopes.

That's fifty million.

As explained here, each empty red envelope should bear this message on the back:

This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world.

This is an excellent project for Sunday School classes and entire church congregations to promote and do together, as it only takes a few moments to write the words and put a stamp on the front of the envelope. You could even use red postcards. For convenience, mass-produced labels could be used to address the mail to President Obama at the White House.

It is hoped that President Obama will receive one envelope or postcard for each child murdered by abortion in the United States of America since Roe v. Wade ... a number so astronomical, it is practically meaningless to the average mind due to its sheer volume and magnitude: 50,000,000.

That's fifty million.

And the number is rising every day at a breathtaking rate.

For these and more astounding statistics, listen to this wonderful speech written and delivered at her school by 12-year-old Lia, a brave and eloquent Canadian girl who is passionately pro-life.

As you watch Lia and listen to her speech, bear in mind that her teacher and her school's administrators all but forbade her to use this topic for the assignment. If you care to, you may read more about that here.

Please participate in Red Envelope Day! It's for the babies.

Saturday
Feb142009

My Valentine ... 2009

NOTE:  I wrote this last year and thought I'd rerun it because not only is it still true, it's more true than ever.  I've updated where appropriate.

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My valentine and I have the same exact middle name even though he's a boy and I'm a girl. My valentine and I share the same four wonderful children (three girls and one of the other kind), the same son-in-law, the same two granddaughters (one four-year-old and one one-year-old), and the same comical excuse for a dog. My valentine and I love sleeping and snuggling in our king-size bed. My valentine and I enjoy being together to talk, listen to music, watch our favorite programs, or quietly read.

My valentine and I laugh at most of the same things and get sad at a lot of the same things. My valentine and I have many of the same memories because we have been friends for 33 years. We have been together as a couple for 30 years, 5 months, and 21 days and have been husband and wife for 29 years, 7 months, and 28 days. My valentine and I surprised some people when we paired off, and we still smile about that.

My valentine is never demanding and always supportive.

My valentine thinks I'm pretty, funny, smart, and interesting. My valentine calls me "Little Miss Fire and Ice" and means it in a good way. My valentine is always bragging on me to others and I brag on him too. My valentine knows when to be romantic but understands when it's best to leave me alone. My valentine is tall, dark, and exceedingly handsome in addition to being uncommonly sweet, amazingly intelligent, and endearingly modest. My valentine smells incredibly good. My valentine has wide hazel eyes, high cheekbones, a disarming smile, and lovely long fingers. My valentine has the most tender touch.

My valentine and I love to discuss various topics and we almost always agree on what's ridiculous and what's not. My valentine and I never have to avoid the subjects of religion and politics because we feel the same way about both. My valentine goes out of his way to make me happy and give me the things I want. My valentine appreciates the things I do for him, even though I don't think I do nearly enough. My valentine likes to kiss my hand and I like to kiss his lips. My valentine can still make me go weak in the knees.

My valentine is never demanding and always supportive. My valentine knows my name but usually refers to me as precious or baby. My valentine is my beloved and I am his. My valentine and I both think this is a pretty good deal. My valentine is not perfect but he's close enough for me. I wish everyone a valentine like my valentine.

Happy *kissy kiss* Valentine's Day!

 

Monday
Feb092009

Hate Male

Daughter Erica was sitting at her computer on Saturday, chuckling.

Because I'm a busybody, I asked: "What's the deal?"

Turns out Erica was on Facebook, and she had just read a comment left by one Madison W., a lovely young lady who happens to be a dear friend of our family. Madison's comment was short and to the point:

Madison loves Sean Hannity, the Hate Hannity Hotline is like a dagger in my heart ... :-(.

Crikey! Where is PeTA when you need them?

My ears perked up because I too have a soft spot in my heart for Sean Hannity. I catch his show at least three times a week. Soooooo sweet since it's now simply Hannity instead of Hannity & Colmes.

(I always thought that Colmes guy was a liability. Good riddance. Sean Hannity is a great American; Alan Colmes, not so much. Just my humble opinion.)

Yesterday as I was loading the dishwasher at the conclusion of Sunday lunch, Hannity was on my kitchen TV and, lo and behold, Sean ended the show by playing the remarks of callers to the Hate Hannity Hotline. My ears perked up again.

BTW, I like the way Sean is not afraid to make public the verbal vitriol heaped upon him by his liberal detractors. But then, why should he be? They are by and large a profane and disturbed bunch. Sean only proves his point by giving them all the rope they need to hang themselves.

For example, the first several remarks were so riddled with profanity, they were largely unintelligible except for spat-out syllables interrupted by bleeps. How charming! Where libs fall short in common sense, they more than compensate in blue language.

They're like poster children for How Not To Talk. But I digress.

Suddenly I was arrested in my methodical racking of plates and bowls by a particularly venomous string of expletives issuing from a male caller, who ended his mini-tirade by promising: "Every day Sean Hannity is on the air I'm gonna put a kitten in a woodchipper!"

Crikey! Where is PeTA when you need them?

Folks, liberals are sad, deluded, soul-sick people (the ones, that is, who are not merely deceived). Furthermore, what we have here is additional evidence that America is engaged in a classic battle of good versus evil. As if we needed more proof.

Imagine what would happen if there was a Hate Ob*ma Hotline (I am NOT suggesting that there should be one ... and if there were, I would not use it ... because I don't hate Mr. Obama ... I just want him to go away), and a conservative caller threatened to flambé a puppydog for every day the man is in office!

They'd likely have the FBI breathing down their necks in less time than it takes to intone "Change we can believe in."

(And PeTA would be there, cloaked in all its hyper-liberal lunacy, to take up the cause of the charred puppies. The woodchipper-bound kittens, however, are on their own.)

Because as we all know, it's perfectly acceptable to hate in America, as long as you hate the proper people. That would be conservatives and -- much more better -- religious conservatives. The double whammy, as it were.

Am I right? A kitty in a woodchipper says I am.

Tuesday
Feb032009

207 More Weeks ...

... or 3 years, 11 months, and 19 days ...

... or 1,449 days ...

... or 34,776 hours ...

... or 2,086,560 minutes ...

... or 125,193,600 seconds ...

... until the end of the Obama administration. But who's counting?

At least President Bush knew a door when he saw one!

I am.

One can only hope that by then, our distinguished president will be able to distinguish the oval office's windows from its doors.

Unlike the time in 2005 when President Bush attempted to open a locked door while at a conference in Beijing -- "news" that ended up on page one, above the fold -- this item was not carried by The New York Times.

President Bush was a moron when he tried to open a huge door he could not have known was locked. Mr. Obama is merely preoccupied with matters of state -- and perhaps eager to return to the office where the thermostat is set so high that "you could grow orchids in there" -- when he searches in vain for a doorknob on a window.

At least President Bush knew a door when he saw one! I think that counts for something.

Some think of President Obama as the messiah. I think of him as a mess.

As for the euphemistically termed "Stimulus Bill" the president is trying so desperately to get past the Senate, I am reminded of Johnny Depp's famous bon mot regarding the breakfast food of politicians: You need patience with bacon ... you have to maintain a calm attitude with pork.

Believe me when I tell you, I am trying.