Visual valium

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010I don't suppose it comes as a surprise to any of my cherished readers that I am a tad ... shall we say, uptight?

Personally I prefer the euphemistic and slightly elegant designation highly strung.

At any rate, I was born this way and I doubt it's going to change, so deal with it.

In addition, every job I have ever had has disagreed with me, with the exception of one: waitress.

I adored being a waitress, which employment path I pursued for one whole summer in my callow youth.

Even now, I threaten a couple of times a week to go back to waiting tables.

Ask anybody.

You would've loved me as your waitress. Believe! Even the lady upon whose powder-blue polyester trousered leg I deposited a medium-well filet mignon circa 1977, thought I was an angel.

Maybe she was the angel. Hot debate!

Speaking of angels, when I have a frustrating day in one of the tens of thousands of fake-wood and vinyl conference rooms in South Carolina, on my way home I do one of two things.

I stop at a cemetery or a Protestant church.

Ecclesiastical and funereal architecture ... either or both ... never fails to soothe my fevered nerves.

And of course I always have my camera with me.

About a month ago I was held hostage in a particularly seedy conference room in Rock Hill (a charming city). It was the first cool autumn day we'd had; the conference room never warmed up. My feet felt like blocks of ice most of the day.

One of the lawyers was rude; the other was vague. Together they managed to kill a horse by mid-afternoon, then beat it for about three more hours.

We went off the record at a few minutes before six that evening. We'd started at ten that morning.

I was so frustrated by the time it was over, I was mad.

Not only was I tired and hungry, but I'd be driving home in the dark.

And I was worried I wouldn't get a picture of a little red church door I'd seen on the way into town that morning.

I had to remind myself to cling to the Rock of Ages. Cling for dear life.

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Well, I did get the shot of the little red door at The Episcopal Church of Our Savior in Rock Hill, as well as the windows, doors, and bell tower of the First Presbyterian Church.

Then, for good measure, a few sunset photos.

I was shivering and my tummy was complaining of the hungries, but simply taking the time to pull over and take the pictures made me feel I was a little more in control of my time and my life.

I was still nettled on the drive home and even the next day, but eventually I let it go.

A week or two later I had a similarly exasperating experience -- although not nearly as draconian as what shall henceforth be known as The Rock Hill Incident -- but as you will see, it was yet a blazing blue day as I stopped to take pictures of the exquisite gothic bones of Church of the Resurrection Episcopal in Greenwood.

The sky, the stucco, the shadows ... the arches, the leaves, the stillness ... it was divine.

I hope you'll take a few minutes, and a deep breath, and look at my pictures here. There aren't very many.

I love you!

Thanksgiving ... so yesterday! It's Christmastime!

Having our Thanksgiving dinner at Cracker Barrel was, I must admit, a bit strange. I can't explain it; it just felt funny. I can't see us doing it again but for this single experience, it was perfectly adequate.

The restaurant was not crowded at all. We waited between five and ten minutes for a table.

Just long enough for Allissa to locate the candy and Melanie to draw a bead on ... shiny beads! That little filly loves her jewelry.

The food was hot and seemed fresh and everything was served in a timely manner. 

Our waitperson was very happy, upbeat, efficient, and friendly. She'd had her dinner early, with her family, and was all set to work at CB until closing. If it bothered her at all, she didn't show it. Probably glad simply to have a job.

Guess what? I took some pictures! Not all that many. If you like you may see them by clicking here.

Speaking of pictures, I took a few more today! 

Just before Stephanie and her family left for home, we had the ceremonious giving of the Christmas dresses to two certain little girls.

The dresses were accompanied by Christmas cards and shelf-sitting dolls ... a snowman for Melanie and a reindeer for Allissa.

The cards were opened and "read" and the whatnots thoroughly scrutinized.

Then it was time for the unveiling of the festive Christmas garments! And posing adorably with same.

And you know it's really Christmas when your fingers are covered with red glitter. From China, no doubt ... via Dollar General, as Melanie seems anxious to verify.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. ~Luke 2:7 

Grateful hilarity continues

Wow. What a Thanksgiving.

My oven is broken so we're going to Cracker Barrel for dinner at four o'clock.

Did you know they have a complete Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings -- including pie with real whipped cream, and a beverage -- for $8.99 per person, $4.49 per kid?

And they serve you, and afterwards you don't have to do the dishes?

Who needs an oven?

Because I don't have to spend the day cooking, I've spent it taking pictures. I've taken a hundred fifty already.

There will be many more to come, but I wanted to share some with you now.

My darling son blew all most of the leaves off the roof and out of the overburdened gutters this morning.

Something tells me there will be more of those to come as well.

Melanie and Allissa first thoroughly explored our back "yard" ...

... then we all went out front, where tens of thousands more leaves were being sprayed over the roof edge by Andrew.

Allissa had some questions for her daddy ... who, as always, answered them patiently one by one. Most of them were about the numbers of cars and pickups in our driveway, their colors, and who's making the payment on each one.

Stephanie (a/k/a Little Mama) peeked out to see what was afoot. Don't you agree she's got that glow?

Allissa wasted no time hanging over the rail, peppering Papaw with questions.

Ever noticed how fascinated kids are by leaves? It's amazing. They'll play in and with the leaves (and sticks) as long as you'll stand there watching them. And taking pictures of them.

It's fun when the leaves cover up your feet, Mamaw.

In my unbiased opinion, Allissa should be the next child model for OshKosh kids' duds. She's no dud.

Meanwhile, big sister Melanie could be crowned Queen of Fun With Leaves.

 Sticks are exciting too, if you know what to do with them.

When all else fails, just throw leaves off the side! Then, in addition to not cooking, Mamaw doesn't have to sweep. Leaving more time for Kodak moments.

The main thing is to have fun, fun, fun until Daddy takes the T-bird away.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY! BY ALL MEANS EAT TOO MUCH!

And then there were three

My family straggled home one by one today. Andrew arrived first, before noon. He was hungry so I filled him up with two grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, potato chips, fresh-baked cookies, and plenty of milk. I think he also drank a Pepsi.

TG got home from work early, at about three in the afternoon. Stephanie and Joel and the granddaughters were next, at five. Erica straggled in at five thirty, mad as a wet hen because traffic between McDonough and Columbia elongated her trip by a whole hour.

Audrey brought up the rear at a few minutes before nine, having had similar struggles where I-40 meets I-26 around Asheville. No surprise there. The trip from Knoxville to Columbia can be a breeze but on the night before Thanksgiving, it is usually fraught with difficulties of the vehicular variety.

The important thing was, they all got here. Safely. Audrey, late to the game, grabbed a plate and joined us in the family room.

There was quite a din, mostly because Andrew insisted on playing soccer with Allissa, who was majorly into it.

Javier was sulking because Erica made him wear his orange turtleneck sweater -- the one with the crossbones on the back -- even though it was 78 degrees outside.

I'd been playing most of the day with my iPod Touch, a gift from Andrew (actually he won it in a drawing at Offutt AFB last week, and he already has an iPhone, so I benefited from the trickle-down effect), and I was still preoccupied with my new toy as we sat around talking.

Next thing I knew, Melanie and Allissa were standing beside my chair, each holding a brightly-colored gift bag. Stephanie hovered nearby, mouthing instructions to her small brood.

I didn't get it because it's not my birthday and, God be praised, we still have a few weeks until Christmas.

Allissa dug in her bag. It contained a tiny -- so tiny! -- red Christmas stocking.

Okay!

Melanie looked into her bag. She brought out a piece of paper with other pieces of paper stuck to it in random shapes. There was ribbon. Unable to see what was written on it because Mel was hogging it, I was mystified.

Audrey, standing behind my chair, "got it" first ... and just from the way she said "Ohhhhh!" I knew.

The paper announced that a new baby will arrive in July, 2011.

Sue ... neener!

After divulging her big news, Stephanie (a/k/a Little Mama) quickly lost her energy and within minutes, strongly resembled these narcoleptic meerkats.

She (and my grandson I hope I hope I hope) are sleeping peacefully now.

Happy Thanksgiving!

See, it was like this

I think there's at least one bad lily in that bouquet. For one, I don't know what happened to the Mayflower. Nonetheless you've got to love H&Y. They try so hard.