Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Columbia Cemetery

To read my articles, click HERE! And don't forget to subscribe.

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Thursday
Sep302010

Tales from the sieve

OK so the rain has stopped here in Myrtle Beach but the skies are still gray and I haven't left the hotel since yesterday afternoon.

There was storming here last night of draconian proportions. If there was an actual tsunami, however, I slept through it. Or maybe it just didn't reach the ninth floor.

But I did not sleep until I had the following exchange with a man at the front desk. I'll relay it verbatim to the best of my memory but you'll have to supply my level of animation, and his.

That should be fun for you.

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ME: I know it's raining outside but I'm trying to watch CSI New York and every couple of minutes it's nothing but tiling and a message on the bottom of the screen that says the satellite can't be located.

HIM: You're the first one who's said anything.

ME: What do you mean? I'm the first one who's said anything about this? Or I'm the first person who's said anything to you today? Or are you under the mistaken impression that I'm the first person who's ever said anything, ever, at any time and in any place?

(Because, I was thinking, if that is the case I have a lot of catching up to do.)

HIM: I just came on as night manager and my engineers are gone.

ME: I understand that, but this is unacceptable. Gary Sinise and the Greek girl whose name I cannot pronounce, the one with the super curly hair, were just about to get an inkling of who their first suspect might be. Then the tiling started again and their jaws separated from the tops of their heads and I missed the most important dialog of the whole show.

HIM: Ma'am, like I said, you're the first person who's said anything.

ME: OK ... I get that but do you hear me? I am here in this luxury hotel room and the 36-inch LG plasma TV is all but worthless unless I want to watch football, baseball, golf, classic basketball, or hamster drag racing. Also I do believe the inspiration channel is clear as crystal but I've had all the inspiration I can handle for one day. Also, I didn't say anything a while ago when it was literally raining on my arm as I blogged in the business center. Does that mean it didn't happen? Does it, sir?

HIM: We are having a tropical storm.

ME: I know but if that's the reason I can't watch CSI New York, why is it that the sports channels are working? Can you just tell me that? I mean, if the satellite can't get the signal, it can't get the signal. Can the satellite think through which shows people aren't allowed to finish watching?

HIM: You're the first one who's said anything.

ME: WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF I'M THE FIRST OR LAST OR ONLY PERSON TO EVER SAY ANYTHING? DOES THAT MAKE IT OKAY THAT I CANNOT FINISH WATCHING THE SHOW I STARTED WATCHING? DOES IT? DOES IT?

HIM: [unintelligible]

ME: Because if I'm the only one who's said anything, obviously there is something wrong with the TV set in this room. Please fix it.

HIM: My engineers are gone for the night. We are having a tropical storm.

ME: snick.

TG: Come to bed, sweetie.

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And that was the best offer I got all day but I still don't know how Gary Sinise and the Greek girl whose name I cannot pronounce, the one with the super curly hair, solved the crime.

I do know that trained monkeys could do a better job of running the night desk at the Sheraton Convention Center in Myrtle Beach than the folks who actually run it.

You may quote me. Then make sure the monkeys have mops.

Wednesday
Sep292010

OK this place is so weird

I am in MYRTLE BEACH South Carolina, for crying out loud, and all it's done is rain.

Talkin' about a frog-strangler, y'all. I know it's off-season but this is redonkulous.

Well, it IS hurricane season. Maybe that explains the fact that we nearly had to swim the last half of our trip to the coast.

And not only that, but they have ALL the sprinklers on outside here at the Sheraton Convention Center. TG's pant leg was totally baptized when he got out of the car.

Also? I am sitting here at this bank of computers and rain is falling on my right arm. Yes, I am indoors.

I think it is time for me to go upstairs to my room, climb into the comfy bed, and eat my Cadbury dark chocolate bar with a Diet Coke. See what's on the tube. Wait for TG to be done with his meetings.

First though, like a good pirate, I'd better go tell them at the front desk that "apparently there's a leak."

Stay tuned for some new beach pictures.

Glub glub.

Wednesday
Sep292010

Wordless Wednesday: Going to the beach

Tuesday
Sep282010

Cotton Jenny has a nice trip

So if, having read about how I flipped out while picnicking in Ohio, you want to know how I fell out while sightseeing in South Carolina, hike over to Nostalgic Nana where, in my guest post, I reveal the juicy details.

I truly hope this is the last installment in my slip-and-fall across the United States series.

The bonus material is, in Sue Osborne you'll meet a stellar blogger who's worth reading and worth knowing.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday
Sep272010

The great Ohio flip-out redux

NOTE: This is a rerun from a few years ago. It's raining and it's Monday and I have already written a guest blog post today. I am too lazy to write one more original word. Besides, this involves me and gravity, which usually makes for compelling reading.

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Once upon a time TG, I, and our kids lived semi-contentedly in a small town in central Ohio. In that burg was a park where we liked to go for picnics and generalized recreation.

Buckley.Our second Beagle, Buckley (RIP 1997-2005) loved to run free there, run like the wind until he could barely wiggle.

My recent spill at Finlay Park in Columbia, South Carolina, reminded me of the day in the late '90s when many extended family members showed up in said small Ohio town, and as a unit we retreated to the park for a cookout.

It was a beautiful summer day. As I recall there were a couple dozen assorted Webers there; it was sort of like a reunion minus nametags, matching t-shirts, speeches, and feudal activity.

Also there was no beer.

Pick Your Spot And Land On It

After appropriating a picnic site consisting of a few wooden tables and a grill, we busied ourselves embellishing the pastoral landscape with coolers and hampers and blankets and lawn chairs and kids and pets and so forth and so on.

You know ... the kind of deal where you've brought so much stuff from home, it would have been much easier to stay home. And yet not at all the same as having a cookout in the great outdoors.

So there we all were, laughing, chatting, getting caught up on familial gossip as we arranged the assorted vittles for easy access.

Which generally meant, the men lugged the heavy stuff from the cars and then stood around and talked about golf while the women hauled out the potato salad and baked beans and deviled eggs and bags of chips and sandwich buns and condiments and homemade desserts and two-liters of soda pop, plus all the accessories: paper plates, plastic cutlery, napkins, cups, et cetera, ad nauseamad infinitum.

We were nothing if not prepared.

You Provide The Food, I'll Provide The Entertainment

So that our al fresco feast could boast a freshly-cooked main course, my brother-in-law fired up the grill and threw on enough hotdogs and hamburgers to feed Patton's Third Army should that venerable company advance over the nearest knoll, demanding provisions.

To the delicate verdancy of the atmosphere we added pungent greasy smoke, and the party was truly on.

I was wearing a casual summer lounge-type dress. Comfortable and, you know, cool and forgiving. The kind of dress that feels like a bathrobe but doesn't look like one. I've always been real prissy so it suited me well.

My legs were bare and I was wearing flip-flop shoes with sequins on them. (I'm just not the plain rubber flip-flop type.) And yes, I had on full makeup and my hair was done. Like I said: real prissy.

(You need to know this or you won't fully enjoy the next part of the story.)

A Hotdog By Any Other Name

Eventually, the burgers and dogs having been charred to perfection, we converged upon the food table and did our best to get our plates piled up right on the first try. For me that meant lots of mustard and ketchup on a still-smoking hotdog, and all that goes along with it.

Balancing everything carefully, I picked up a plastic cup of something soft and fizzy. As I headed for a lawn chair that had been placed by TG on the perimeter of our staked-out quarter-acre, I'm pretty sure I was talking nonstop and probably laughing too, because that's just what I do.

I can't be sure, though, because no sooner had I turned my back to my chair and sat down, than I reached cruising altitude and just kept on going.

I mean, going all the way back, onto my back, with all the grace of a drunken Hottentot.

Yes! My skirt, at least for a moment before my legs flopped to the side, ended up around my waist! Ahem.

There was a moment of darkness. I literally saw stars and I don't mean like Johnny Depp.

A Fallen Woman Evokes No Sympathy

My lunch was sprawled all over me, to include my face and hair. I might have been hallucinating but I'm pretty sure I heard an ant family tittering in the grass. Their voices are so tiny!

"She lost her hotdog," one said. "She is a hotdog," declared another.

Ha Ha! So funny, so small-town ant-like.

TG immediately -- immediately -- turned and walked in the opposite direction. It was as though he wanted to completely forget who I was and the reason I might have been invited to share in the festivities, and having developed amnesia, oh-so-smoothly insinuate himself into the family occupying a neighboring picnic site.

(Thanks again, darling! Next time we have hotdogs, remind me to marinate yours in cyanide!)

Hands Across The Ketchup

I began struggling to my feet. What it was, was painful. And my considerable ego was not the only thing bruised.

What it was not, was pretty and what it was also not was elegant, but what it was, was interesting.

It was memorable.

And my sort-of motto -- after try not to fall down -- is, if you can be nothing else, be interesting and be memorable.

Invite ridicule; invite criticism; invite all-out contempt. At least you'll be remembered for having inspired something other than brain-addling boredom!

Anyone can do that.

Our darling niece, Sandra, rushed over to help me up. As in, she was the only one there who offered assistance.

I Never Forget A Kindness

In my will I have bequeathed to Sandra a small but significant piece of jewelry. She may get my Pirates of the Caribbean DVDs too.

My once-cute summer picnic dress resembled a Georgia O'Keeffe canvas -- Ram's Head White Hollyhock and Little Hills with Condiments -- which someone had decided to make the object of a food fight.

Plus which, my head hurt.

But I survived to prink and preen and party again, and what's more to tell about it, so there y'all. No harm, no foul.

Just a little flip-out on a summer day in Ohio, is all.