Masking for a friend

TG saw this online and sent it to ME

I started writing this post over a month ago.

I'm not sure why I have been reluctant to complete it. I'm also not sure why I've had so little to say on this blog of late.

It could be that, since the advent of the CCP virus, everything is so scary that one does not know where to begin; hence, one burrows more deeply into whatever comfort mechanism is readily available to one, and lies still, hoping for brighter (and more productive) days ahead.

It could also be that, despite the advent of the CCP virus, life and its events have continued to come at me with as much mind-boggling swiftness and enthusiastic continuity as ever.

(At the final family birthday party of the summer -- last Friday, our Chad's thirtieth -- I expressed relief that we have no more birthdays until our Stephanie's in early September. Actually I realize that early September is late summer, but you know what I mean. After Labor Day. July and August are blessedly birthday-party-free for us, although I hope we get to celebrate our Henry's eighty-eighth with him, on August fourth.)

It could be that there are so many topics on which the pirate feels compelled to opine, that it is difficult to ascertain where best to begin.

And don't forget that often, when the pirate does not know where to begin, the pirate declines to begin at all.

(You'll never know the diatribes you have been spared.)

All are in fact true, but recent communications aimed in my direction have renewed my conviction that my readers need me.

So let's get started.

Masking all the important questions

Fact: I'm one of those who will not wear a mask.

If that makes you mad, click out. If you want to know why, stick around. And hear me out.

First let me direct your attention to this recent post, in which I pointed out several statistics relating to pandemics and epidemics that have occurred in the last fifty years, thus in my lifetime and in my memory.

All of those tragic statistics notwithstanding, I have never in my life until the last three months seen anyone wear a face mask (except the Halloween kind) unless they were a medical professional, or playing one on TV, or both.

Even then, for me, the sight of someone wearing a mask obscuring two-thirds of their face was almost always confined to a surgical setting -- thus on television. I haven't had all that many surgeries.

Therefore being someone who sees most things as black or white, me pirate curiosity is piqued at the enthusiasm with which some have taken to mask wearing.

(And I speak of those who do not "have" to wear a mask. I'm aware that there are those whose jobs require the wearing of a mask. Although I confess to wondering why they wear them now, if they didn't/don't during annual flu season. But I digress.)

Since I began attempting to complete this post, the mask-wearing thing has become a major national flash point.

Recently, Presumptive Democratic Presidential Nominee Joe Biden woke up from his second nap of the day and put down his Jello snack to declare that, if elected president, he will FORCE all Americans to wear masks at all times in public.

Trump 2020.

Nasty Nancy (Nansty) Pelosi, Democrat Speaker of the House, has announced that she believes there should be an actual federal LAW mandating mask wearing by all Americans at all times when in public, and added that she would apply her considerable energies (when not gorging on gourmet ice cream or kneeling for almost nine minutes while wearing a Kente shawl) to seeing such legislation become a reality.

My blog buddy Sally and my old friend Sydney wanted a word to call this "crisis" and I didn't make these up but I'll submit two, and in my mind they are both accurate and, as such, interchangeable:

Plandemic. Dempanic.

Do I believe the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) planned the Wuhan Virus? Yes. If they didn't plan it outright -- as in, manufacture it in a lab on purpose (we'll never know) -- then they surely planned to disseminate it aggressively around the globe once they realized it was a thing.

Either way.

If you don't believe the Chinese Communist Party are capable of that, or would be inclined to act in such a callous way, go back to watching Disney Plus and drinking Great Bluedini-flavor Kool-Aid while you paint your pet unicorn's nails hot pink.

And if you don't think the Democrat Party seized upon the virus like a Great White snagging the errant human appendage dangling from a surfboard, viewing the illness as something to exploit fully as a boon to their America-hating, control-frenzied, power-greedy globalist agenda, then you should have your rose-colored glasses permanently cemented to your eyes just above the mask sewn to your mouth.

As I've opined many times: Destroying Donald Trump is not Job One for the left; it's Job Only.

They have been foaming at the mouth like demented imps of hell for nearly four years, still stung and burned by the riveting and life-changing turn of events that took place on November 8, 2016.

And although nothing will ever quench or stanch the radical left's rancid, unreasoning loathing for everything President Trump and conservatives stand for, losing to him again is not something they're willing to contemplate.

So they plot and scheme and incite and foment and deceive and conflate and misconstrue and mislead and lie, lie, lie.

Hence the mayhem we have witnessed and experienced over the last six weeks.

It's been said before (by me) but it's worth saying again: Leftists will lie when the truth would serve them better. That's because they love the lie. They're wedded to it. No; they're welded to it. They ARE the lie. Everything progressives propound and promote and promulgate, are lies that tend not to life, but to death.

And that includes this so-called "new normal" -- I hope you got that because I won't be using the vile term again -- of everyone covering their mouth. Here's the message in that: Shut up. Sit down. Submit. WE will control your mind by suppressing your voice.

Note to Americans, from Democrats: We'll tell you what to do and when, and what not to do (without telling you why), and you'll take it and obey us and like it. 

Or else.

Or else what? What have they planned for those who refuse (like me) to wear a face mask and (when the day inevitably comes) take the CCP virus vaccine injection?

Because I won't do those things. Ever.

What may be had for the masking

But let's get back on track and talk about masking. Masking for a friend? I wonder.

Brit Hume, a respected journalist, stated recently that the reason to wear a mask is not for any concrete health concern (he's right about that), but to be considerate of others. To be nice.

Except, I'm not that nice. I'm also not diseased.

Just last night, conservative commentator Sean Hannity stated on his Fox News show that he believes masks work, and that everyone should be happy to wear them if they save Grandma and Grandpa, and help us get back to "normal."

He cited the example of taking in a sporting event, saying he'd gladly wear a mask if it meant going back to the stadium for a football game or to the ball park for a baseball game.

I reflected on the most recent time TG and I were at Wrigley Field, watching the Cubs lose. It was last September, before the CCP virus made everyone crazy revealed how crazy most people are.

I tried to imagine forty thousand fans ensconced in the Friendly Confines for three or more hours, all masked. How would they swill the thousands of gallons of beer (ten bucks per warm serving) that are sold per game, with their mouths covered? How would they consume tens of thousands of dollars worth of peanuts and Cracker Jacks and hot dogs and nachos and pretzels and ice creams, and guzzle eight-dollar Cokes, while wearing masks?

Not to mention the dilemma of the masks staying in place over the fans' noses and mouths while they holler and cheer and carry on at everything taking place on the field, from hits to homers to fly balls to bad calls? And I promise you that in the unlikely event of a Cub win, those masks would be worn as neck warmers while the faithful flew the W and danced at their seats and belted out Go Cubs Go.

Draw your own conclusion but, based on experience, here's mine: Not gonna happen.

What I do I do for you ... not

This idea has been floated and promoted from the early days: Plastering a mask across your face protects not the wearer, but others with whom the wearer comes into contact.

Masks: not what you think

Let's pull over and park here for a mo.

First -- call me crazy, and I'm sure you will, but I've been called worse by better people, so, so be it -- I'd have more respect for the mask wearers if they'd come right on out and admit that the reason they wear it, is to protect themselves. That it is not about protecting me.

Because I do NOT believe that all of those wearing masks, believe they're NOT protecting themselves. And they're free to think whatever they want, but NOT to be disingenuous and pretend they're wearing it for my benefit rather than their own.

They're scared, pure and simple. Scared of getting the CCP virus. But they don't want to admit it.

Just admit it!

I realize that my respect is not necessarily something you want or need, but just so you know, I'll respect you more if you simply admit that you're terrified of contracting the rona and you have convinced yourself -- or allowed yourself to become convinced -- that sporting a mask will save you from that fate.

(Plus you get to look all virtuous. Sorry not sorry.)

A few weeks ago, someone who was openly and publicly promoting that idea -- the one about the mask protecting not the wearer, but those with whom the wearer comes in contact -- stood directly over me and talked to me while his mask dangled from his hand.

(Just so you know, during that exchange I was not remotely afraid of "catching" the CCP virus.)

What's the takeaway? As I've said many times since this dreadful nonsense began: no one cares about my health or your health. Don't be naive; none of the recent seismic shifts in societal and economic equilibrium are, or ever have been, about anyone's health.

And that's fine with me; I am willing to take responsibility for my own health.

And if I and others are asymptomatic but carrying and spreading the CCP virus (another myth)? Well, then that's what has to happen. Once again: if you're in the vulnerable demographic and/or if you are terrified that you may get it and die, stay home.

Have someone bring your groceries and supplies and leave them outside your door. Put on a HazMat suit or medical PPE and wipe everything down with bleach before you put it away. Burn everything you were wearing, directly afterwards. Handle the ashes of said clothing as if they are radioactive. Linger under a shower with the water as hot as you can stand it for thirty minutes and wash your entire body with strong disinfectant. Spray your doorway and entry area with bleach solution. Hang garlic there like mistletoe.

Be afraid the whole time. Be very, very afraid, or it doesn't count.

(I was told of someone who does all of the above, minus the HazMat suit and burning her clothing and washing with disinfectant and the bleached doorway and the garlic-toe. This lady's husband demands that she go alone to the grocery store. When she gets home, she places the grocery bags in the floor. Together they wipe each item with bleach before putting it into the cupboard. Then the wife puts her clothes into the hamper and takes a hot shower. By the way, this lady gets sick with colds and flu with the same regularity that the rest of us do. Maybe even more.)

But if you do all of the above now, since the CCP virus arrived on the scene, and you didn't do it during the seasonal flu two years ago, when one hundred thousand Americans died -- indeed, if you don't do that every flu season -- then I call bogus. 

In the alternative, you are exaggerating and dramatizing this entire thing and getting a lot of attention, and doing a fair amount of virtue signaling, and maybe forgetting that you are, after all, mortal.

Before you begin composing your comment rebuking me for not taking this whole thing seriously enough -- whether for my own sake or for that of others -- let's examine that potential accusation.

You may say, the CCP virus is one of those things that, even if the probability is low, the consequence is high.

Really? Although we hear only about draconian numbers of cases and deaths, the CCP virus has a recovery rate better than that of many seasonal flu strains.

And as for low probability but high risk, if you're worried about that, don't go outside and crank your automobile and drive to work or to the store.

You're far more likely to die in a car accident than of the CCP virus. Especially since every other person driving towards you is looking at their phone, likely consulting it for their odds of dying of the CCP virus.

And if you DO defy said odds and contract the CCP virus, statistics are overwhelming that you will recover. Even if you're an old person -- provided New York Democrat Governor Andrew Cuomo doesn't shove you into a nursing home.

Our Audrey read me a story yesterday of a young mother who, from the onset of the dempanic, had taken every precaution possible to protect herself from contracting the CCP virus. Mask, gloves, distancing, lockdown -- the whole nine. She was fanatical, even obsessive, about it.

And she got it anyway. And recovered fully in less than two days. And did not pass it to either her husband or her child.

You masked for it

I went to the doctor last week, for a routine checkup.

The person I see is in fact a Nurse Practitioner named Michael, and he's a star who has a lot of sense, and he's helped me a great deal.

I anticipated being required to wear a mask for the doctor visit, although when I phoned for my appointment, no one said anything about it.

A friend at church has made cute (but useless, except for show) masks for anyone who may need one, and I asked her for one, just so I'd have it in the event I was not allowed to enter the doctor's offices without being masked.

When I arrived, I looked for any sign on the door with information or instruction about masking.

There being none, I went on in.

Neither the receptionist, nor the other staff person who sits beside her, were wearing masks. They greeted me with warm (and visible) smiles.

I was called back to the area where they weigh you and take your blood pressure and so forth.

No one was masked.

Read the fine print

I was shown to an exam room to await my turn to talk to Michael.

He arrived shortly, sans mask.

I told him about how I'd been concerned that I'd be required to wear a mask for my visit and how relieved I'd been to find it was not the case.

They do nothing, he said, so we're not wearing them.

He went on to say that, in his opinion, the CCP virus is no more deadly than the seasonal flu, and in fact may be less deadly. 

He pointed out what I knew already: that every aspect of this situation is agenda-driven, political, and ultimately about control.

We had a nice talk.

My mask-from-a-friend stayed in my purse the whole time, and when I got home I tossed it into a drawer.

There it will stay.

Some oh-so-tolerant leftist suggested the other day that hot coffee should be thrown into the face of anyone who will not wear a mask.

Another lib loon female threatened to shoot anyone who came within six feet of her, maskless.

I'd say those insanely vicious attitudes are far more dangerous than any virus could ever be.

Don't mask me

Last Friday, the City of Columbia issued a mask-wearing mandate pertaining to those in public within the city limits.

Naturally there are exceptions. For example, if you are outdoors, by yourself except for a family member from the same household and perhaps your own dog, and you are being careful to stay at least six feet from others, you may omit the mask.

But if you decide to enter any store or building (except your own home) for any reason, you must pop the mask over your nose and mouth.

As you might imagine or as you may have witnessed yourself in your community, the mandate has been met with mixed reactions and even more mixed compliance.

A friend of mine works at a small shop in downtown Columbia. She told me that her boss said none of them would be wearing masks at work. He asserted that, given the type of work they do, mask-wearing would interfere with their ability to serve their customers.

Good man.

Our Erica and her Chad went downtown last Sunday, to take a walk by the Saluda River. She told me that people were out enjoying the hot summer day by the hundreds, picnicking and basking in the sun.

Social distancing didn't seem to be an issue, or even to be on anyone's mind.

Erica reported that the vast majority of revelers were unmasked.

(Sort of like the riots peaceful protests we've seen of late, attended by tens of thousands who forgot their masks at home.)

Erica and Chad stopped at a convenience store and she went in to buy a fountain drink. The store was empty except for one man, who was nowhere near Erica.

When Erica went to the counter to pay, the cashier -- wearing a mask and standing behind a thick plastic shield -- refused to allow her to buy the drink.

In fact, she refused to even speak to Erica. Just stood there staring, shrugging her shoulders when spoken to.

That's intelligent.

Erica left the beverage that she was not allowed to pay for and consume on a hot day, because she attempted to buy it while not wearing a mask.

At around the same time on the same day, TG and I were running a few errands. Unlike Chad and Erica, we were nowhere near the Columbia city limits; we were in Lexington, where we had lunch, and later, shopping nearer to our house.

We went into a total of three stores. In two of them, we saw the usual mixture of some folks masked, some not.

But in one -- Ulta, where we stopped so that I could run in and pick up a bottle of Clinique face lotion -- I was for the first time since the plandemic began, challenged to add a mask to my face.

Mind you, the store was empty but for perhaps one other shopper, and two salesgirls.

The Clinique display was in the very front of the store, to the immediate right of the door. I walked about six steps and was there, and saw what I was looking for.

Within seconds, one of the salesgirls was on my heels. She did not remain six feet from me. She did not say Hello, Welcome to Ulta, or May I Help You or anything else that may have denoted the fact that I was a customer and, as such, deserving of at least the pretense of courtesy.

Instead, she conveyed to me with great immediacy and urgency that I would need to put a mask over my face. 

She herself was assiduously and earnestly masked. That, together with huge glasses and hair that was at least three garish colors, made her a frightful sight which could have been alleviated by a kind smile. But no.

(Have you noticed that we aren't allowed to see smiles any more? I mean, I realize that lots of people don't smile but I am a smiler and I smile at practically everyone so I miss seeing smiles in return.)

No one seems willing to make eye contact either. It's like they think it will increase their chances of getting the CCP virus.

But lest you doubt or despair, be assured that the pirate still smiles. 

See?

Me and Dagny on her sixth birthdayHowever, I admit to NOT awarding with a beaming smile the salesgirl who had wasted no time NOT greeting me, or offering to help me, but instead accosted me with her mask mandate.

(Yes; I realize that she was "just doing her job." My remarks are not aimed at her personally.)

I said, I will not wear a mask. But I need a bottle of Clinique Dramatically Different Gel Moisturizer. Could you help me find that, please? (In addition to no mask, I wasn't wearing my glasses.)

She did so. It took all of five seconds. When the box was in my hand, she upbraided me again.

Next time you'll need to wear that mask, she tut-tutted as we made our way to the register.

Oh, I assured her, there will not be a next time. As for this time, would you like for me to buy this product somewhere else? Because I'll gladly go to the mall.

Oh no, she said. It's fine. I'm just trying to go by the rules.

Mmmm-hmmmm, I said.

And then she took our money and we left.

Never to return, even if they are selling the last mascara on earth and I'm out.

But let's talk about those "rules."

First point: WHAT rules? There has been no Executive Order issued by the Governor of South Carolina, mandating the wearing of masks. In fact, Governor McMaster has stood steadfastly against the considerable pressure that has been brought to bear on him, to do so.

Second point: We were NOT within the city limits of Columbia, where mask wearing has been "mandated" -- and is largely being ignored -- by Mayor Benjamin, a liberal Democrat.

Third point: By what authority does any store DEMAND that I wear a mask? They either want my custom or they don't; they either want my money or they don't. Masked or unmasked does not enter into that relationship.

Well missy you're not exactly a doctor, you may be thinking, or even mentally composing your comment to me.

To which I would say: Neither is anyone who is demanding that I wear a mask.

The packages and boxes in which the masks come, openly and unequivocally disclaim that the masks protect you from any virus -- including coronavirus.

They protect no one else from anything either. 

If we wore masks plus face shields plus gloves, and stayed ten feet away from one another at all times, then we may prevent some of us coming into contact with some germs. 

But not necessarily all of them. And I doubt that even the most dedicated form of liberal lunacy would suggest that we all go around looking like we're engaged in cleaning up a toxic spill.

Here's my advice, even though you didn't ask for it: If you feel that you need to wear a mask, by all means wear one.

I don't like going out in public and seeing people masked (and therefore unidentifiable), but what others do is none of my business.

But don't suggest or demand that it's anyone else's business whether I wear a mask.

Because it will get you and them exactly nowhere.

I think we've exhausted the topic. I hope you're still smiling, and that I can see your beautiful smile.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Tuesday :: Happy July

Black Lives Chatter

The truth will make you free!

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Happy Weekend

Rizzo's Green New Deal

The Riz Man

A few days ago, Allissa -- who is visiting with us for the week -- and I took Rizzo to Pet Supplies Plus for his routine bath and nail grooming session.

There was a new face behind the counter, belonging to a kind person named Olivia. Although she was not acquainted with Rizzo, Olivia greeted him warmly and did her best to comfort him (he is most anxious at such times).

Having dropped Rizzo off, we made a trip to the dentist where I was scheduled for a cleaning which should have taken place in March but was postponed.

Allissa was shown to a spa room where she sat in a big massage chair and was given a cozy blanket. How I wish I could have changed places with her.

That chore done, we returned to PSP and retrieved my beloved canine unit, whose coat was newly glossy and whose claws were now professionally ground down to active length.

Not that he's active.

Chow Down

And therein lies our tail tale.

You see, Rizzo has gained weight.

Last summer, he and I walked every day. Until the day he refused to take another step.

Now, if I put his harness and leash on him, he balks in the kitchen, before we even get out of the door.

Don't get me wrong: Rizzo loves to go outside. He'd stay out there all day. He just hates to walk.

I suspect he may have some hip pain, which cannot be helped by the extra pounds he's carrying.

The Luck of the Green Bean

So, many months ago, I switched him to a weight-management kibble.

It has not had the desired effect.

As we were chatting with Olivia and preparing to go on our way with a deliriously happy Rizzo sporting an apple-green party scarf, she mentioned that he could stand to lose a pound or two.

I agreed and explained our dilemma.

She advised cutting his kibble ration by half, and filling in with green beans.

I was astonished; I'd never heard of such a thing.

Floor Exercises

Olivia assured me that it was perfectly safe -- carrots are a good option too -- and that, in the absence of his full ration of dry food, the green beans would help Riz to feel full.

Later that day, having deposited Rizzo back at home for a nap and made spaghetti sauce for the evening meal, Allissa and I went to the grocery store to fill in a few blanks on that front.

I bought Rizzo several cans of cut green beans. I hadn't researched Olivia's advice yet, but I figured that if Google wisdom revealed green beans to be toxic for dogs, we could always eat the Double Luck Mixture of Short Cut and Cut Blue Lake green beans ourselves.

(It's double lucky that I love green beans.)

Later that evening, after we had spaghetti, I researched green beans for dogs as a means toward weight loss.

Olivia was one hundred percent correct. 

Lean and Green

As long as you take care not to give the dog too many green beans at a time, and to be aware of his sodium intake, the vegetable is a good substitute for missing rations in a reducing program.

I couldn't wait to put a fourth-cup of green beans into Rizzo's bowl the next morning, along with a third-cup of his kibble.

Do you want to guess what his reaction was?

Let's just say, green beans are Rizzo's new favorite thing.

As in, he scarfed up every last green bean and left kibble in his bowl to enjoy later.

I'll keep you posted on how successful we are at making Rizzo more svelte. I think you'll agree that we can hardly make him any handsomer.

In other news -- and speaking of handsome -- here is a picture of our Andrew with baby Ember, who is now six months old.

Daddy's Little Girl

Because Andrew and Brittany moved to Knoxville in February (Andrew is preparing to go to pilot school for two years, after which he'll fly the KC-135 tanker for his unit based at McGhee-Tyson Air National Guard Base), we haven't seen much of them in recent months.

But last weekend they were finally able to visit.

We had a few sunny days lounging by the pool and playing with our baby, who is actively teething but was a pretty good sport about it, all things considered.

And then there is Dagny, who used to be six months old -- yesterday? -- but on Sunday will turn six years old.

Dagny Clare

If that doesn't make you feel as though we're hurtling through time at a faster clip than ever before, I don't know what would.

We're having a party for her on Saturday, with a blanc-noir theme and cookout food and cake and popcorn and cotton candy and balloons and swimming and presents and everything.

All of the guests have been asked to wear black and white. The birthday girl will be the one in the pink poodle skirt.

I'll be sure to share some pictures next week.

Meanwhile, keep your chin up. Eat your greens.

God is in control and no matter what else changes, He never will.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Wednesday