Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Wednesday
Nov252009

My favorite Thanksgiving poem (excerpt)

Hasten not; the feast will wait.

This is a master-night without a morrow.

No chill and haggard dawn, with after-sorrow,

Will snuff the spluttering candle out,

Or blanch the revellers homeward straggling late.

Before the rout

Wearies or wanes, will come a calmer trance.

Lulled by the poppied fragrance of this bower,

We'll cheat the lapsing hour,

And close our eyes, still smiling,

on the dance.

~George Santayana~

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 

Monday
Nov232009

A song that endures

Bark BirdLast Sunday morning around eight thirty I was perched on the edge of my bed, peering into a makeup mirror, applying cosmetics.

You know ... getting ready for church.

Although very cool and rainy weather conditions had been forecast, the morning was actually mild and half-heartedly sunny.

Consequently I had thrown open a window to enjoy the day.

Because I also like to keep avenues of inspiration wide open, I was listening (notice I didn't say "watching" ... I cannot watch television while simultaneously doing justice to the application of pirate eyeliner; that requires enormous skill and perhaps even the presence of Ve Neill, which was not an option) to my favorite cable television station: Turner Classic Movies.

Al Jolson is no Cary Grant.

(If my TV's not tuned to that station, invariably it's on Fox News, but I'd reached DEFCON 3 on the discouraging-events-combined-with-mindless-fluff-o-meter while watching Fox & Friends earlier that morning.)

TCM's flick-of-the-mo was an Al Jolson musical from 1933: Hallelujah, I'm A Bum!

Yeah. Sometimes anything beats harking to the perky purveyors of pessimism peopling the only news outlet I consider nominally useful.

The upside to Hallelujah, I'm a Bum! being the featured film was the fact that I was not even vaguely tempted to look away from the serious business of appearance-augmentation to the TV screen across the room.

Unlike, say, if Cary Grant had been the leading man instead of Al Jolson.

(Although I love it when he sings My Mammy in blackface, Al Jolson is no Cary Grant.  Al Jolson's not even Claude Rains, and I'm not compelled to gander at him either.)

But I shamelessly digress, and I didn't even get to mention Johnny Depp.*

There's a point to this whole thing, and here it comes.

During one of the many (quite good) musical numbers punctuating the snappy Depression-era dialog of Hallelujah, I'm A Bum! (which was disturbingly germane to current events, but that's another subject) there came the loudly insistent song of an unusually energetic songbird.

One that had spent zero time in soup lines or on hobo trains. One that was still well-shod and full of youthful enthusiasm.

He sang and sang and sang his little heart out, until seriously I was about to adjust the volume because his voice was that piercing.

And then it happened.

Another hyperactive bird began singing ... from the leafy confines of an autumn-flowering bush just outside my window.

I almost dropped my brand-new shu uemura eyelash curler.

(The one that, should push come to shove, I would not trade for the last loaf of bread on earth unless my grandchildren were hollow-eyed with starvation and beseeching me to feed them.)

It sounded for all the world as though the real-live bird outside my window was attempting to communicate with the bird whose voice was no more than a digitally-remastered soundtrack emanating from my television set.

The birds retreated to wherever they go to ride out cold, dark, wet days, and fell silent.

The movie bird sang; the real bird answered. Then they sang in unison before repeating the cycle.

A song issuing from the tiny beak, the minuscule throat, of a three-ounce ball of feathers that has been dust for more than three-quarters of a century, was inspiring all-out joyous cacophony by a very-much-alive avian citizen perched a few feet away in my yard.

It was touching and cute and special, but it was more than that. It was beautiful.

And I was reminded that although earthly voices are often stilled with terrifying suddenness, the song we sing during the brief time we are here will be heard and continued by someone, in some way -- often poignantly and unexpectedly -- long after we are gone.

Long after we have lost either the ability to hear or the wherewithal to respond.

Which means that our duties, our obligations, our goals, our each and every quotidian pursuit -- no matter how banal, how seemingly insignificant -- should be carried out not only with eternity in view, but with future generations constantly in mind.

The rain arrived as promised, deluge-style, a few hours later. The birds retreated to wherever they go to ride out cold, dark, wet days, and fell silent. A gloomy pall persisted all the afternoon and into the night.

Droplets of wind-driven rain were still being hurled relentlessly against the now-closed window as my own eyes closed in sleep.

But the last thing I thought about before drifting away was that long-ago happy birdcall and the present-day hopeful reply.

And I considered once more the amazing resilience and time-transcending relevance of a message carried abroad via the strong, sweet, ineffable force of a song that endures.

*No link required. 

Wednesday
Nov182009

Racist? Nah.

Although this singing turkey reminds me of someone ... it's on the tip of my tongue ... hmmm ...

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday
Nov172009

Swish

Bwaaaahaha.I visited my dentist's office on Monday for a routine teeth cleaning.

The practice charges $119 for one of their excellent hygienists to perform this service.

So naturally, when the ordeal procedure was over and I went up front to pay, clutching my plastic goody bag of two extra-soft toothbrushes, a quarter-sized disc of dental floss, and a runt tube of toothpaste, I expected the receptionist/cashier to say: "The charge is one hundred nineteen dollars today, Mrs. Weber."

Or, "That'll be one hundred nineteen today."

Or, "A hundred and nineteen dollars, please."

Or at the very least, "One nineteen."

But she didn't say any of those things.

Cool as a seldom-used cavitron she enunciated, and I quote: "That will be two-oh-three."

Two-oh-three what? Dollars? For a one-hundred-nineteen-dollar cleaning?

Something seemed to have gone awry. I looked behind me to see if perhaps I had inadvertently volunteered to pay for someone else's dental services in addition to my own. Seeing no one, I asked the extortionist receptionist to explain.

"You had a fluoride rinse and an exam today too," she said.

At $72 an ounce, I might as well swish with Chanel Number Five.

Well, yes. Yes, I suppose I did enjoy a fluoride rinse. My, was it ever tasty. Following my cleaning, I was instructed to swish for sixty seconds with a half-ounce of blue mouthwash that the hygienist dispensed into a plastic thimble from a gallon jug with a pump on the top.

Turns out that half-ounce swish cost me $36.

In case you do not have a calculator handy, allow me to do the math.

The gallon jug contained 128 ounces of fluoride mouthwash. Each dose measures one-half ounce, so that means that there are 256 swigs in the jug.

At $36 per dose, that comes out to $9,216.

I do believe Kryptonite is much cheaper, and makes your teeth look better, and gives you superpowers to boot.

By the way, I checked out some dental supply web sites. The jug of mouthwash cost the dentist about $60.

Who said capitalism is dead?

Forget gold coin! The smart money is on fluoride rinse! It's recession-proof and you get an eight thousand percent return on your investment!

On second thought, is there a dental mafia in Columbia that nobody is telling us about?

When I picked my jaw up off the floor, being careful not to sully my very clean, very expensive teeth, I asked what -- and why -- the "exam" cost me extra.

(See, I was under the impression that the dentist moseying by after your cleaning -- and swishing -- and peering around inside your mouth and asking the hygienist for the lowdown on the happy-camper quotient of your gums and teeth, was all part of the deal. Silly me.)

"That was $48," replied the book-cooker cashier coolly. "He examined your teeth."

Again I was agog and attempted to argue. "He looked inside my mouth for all of ninety seconds," I spluttered. "For the rest of the four minutes he was in the room, we talked about the weather! He must make, like, $3,000 an hour!"

She shrugged and recited automatically: "I think you'll find our prices are competitive."

I don't know about that, but it certainly all added up ... $119 plus $48 plus $36 equals $203.

Still, at $72 an ounce, I might as well swish with Chanel Number Five.

And I can't help but wonder about the street value of that $9,216 bottle of mouthwash.

I'll have to ask the Caped Crusader to look into it ... next time I see him.

Smile! 

Tuesday
Nov102009

There really is a river

The Crown QuartetSomeone once said, in marveling about the miracle of music, that it is the only thing on Earth -- besides the saints of God, that is -- that will also be in Heaven.

(Some think their pets will be there too, but sadly there's no Scripture to back that up. I hope Javier understands because he's trying so hard to live a good life.)

Music -- like man -- was created by God to glorify God. That doesn't mean that all secular music is necessarily sinful, although it certainly can be and much of it undeniably is.

But even among sacred songs, there are some that seem to have a special anointing. One such song is There Is A River, words and music by Max and David Sapp.

When these songs are sung, one is never sure whether the power is due to the writer of the message, or the message itself, or the one who brings the message, or the heart condition of the hearer.

I suspect that in every case, it is a supernatural synergy created by any or all of the above.

Last weekend our family were able to hear our son sing with his group, the Crown Quartet. The guys traveled from Bible college in Tennessee especially to provide the music for a weekend of festivities at the Tabernacle Baptist Church in Hickory, North Carolina.

Come to this water ~ There is a vast supply  There is a river ~ That never shall run dry

There Is A River is one of the boys' best numbers, and clearly one of their favorites.  I heard them sing it via live streaming video a few weeks ago in a chapel service, but the first time I experienced it in person was last Saturday. They sang it again on Sunday and it was even better. Of course I cried! You might have too.

In the absence of a good-quality video of the Crown Quartet singing There Is A River, which unfortunately is not available, I turned to YouTube. Here's the Gaither Vocal Band performing There Is A River live, with David Phelps doing the solo work.

I love it when the audience sings with them at the end.

And he shewed me a pure river of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb. (Revelation 22:1)