O no
Wednesday, January 18, 2012 at 04:44PM 
So the other night I was chatting with Erica over the phone and she asked if I ever watch anything on Oprah's network, OWN.
"Nah," I said.
Basically I find Oprah appalling.
Besides, the only channel I ever watch during daylight hours is TCM.
If someone wanted to torture me, all they'd have to do is make me sit through a daytime talk show. I'd spill my secrets just to get away.
The reason Erica inquired was because even as we spoke, OWN was running a segment in which Oprah interviewed Chris Christie at his house in New Jersey.
We like Governor Christie so I perked up and tuned in to OWN. When Erica and I were done talking, I watched the end of the Oprah/Christie interview.
Silence Should Be Goldie
Then it was Goldie Hawn's turn and I had to switch channels or risk becoming nauseated.
It's funny to me that the biggest, most bloviation-prone heathen in the world often think they live on some spiritual plane that the rest of us cannot hope to attain on account of we're so narrow minded.
Which being interpreted means, unless you're a knee-jerk liberal and think anything goes, anything whatsoever, no matter how godless and immoral, you have no hope of ever becoming "enlightened."
Or of escaping mental illness, apparently.
Color Me Rootless
A night or two later I decided to flip over to OWN and see who Oprah had in her crosshairs. Don't ask me why.
Lo and behold, she was interviewing the cast of Roots to celebrate the miniseries' thirty-fifth anniversary.
Now let me first own up to the fact that I've never read Alex Haley's Roots.
Furthermore, I didn't watch Roots in 1977 -- I was a college student -- and I've never watched it since, and I have no intention of ever watching it.
But I know what it's about, because I'm smart that way.
Not that you'd have to be Einstein to figure out it's another vehicle for "African" Americans to guilt Whitey over events that transpired three hundred years ago, which nobody alive today had anything whatsoever to do with.
Hello people. Slavery was abolished in this country a hundred fifty years back. Nobody living today was ever a slave or a slave-owner. Neither were their parents or grandparents or great-grandparents.
The practice, while undeniably reprehensible and utterly indefensible, is non-existent in the America we know and love.
Except for when the blacks doggedly, stubbornly resurrect its memory in order to stoke an already outrageous sense of entitlement.
Their blindness is as epic as their collective ego.
Real. Estate. Bubble.
Take Oprah. Please?
She feted the Roots cast on her questionably tasteful $85 million 45-acre estate in Montecito, California (only one of her palatial homes). Dubbed "Promised Land" because Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said that's where his race were ultimately bound, the 23,000 square foot main house is barely big enough to contain the ignorance and the arrogance.
Not to mention the ... never mind. Snark train leaving the station. All aboard.
Promised Land's grounds feature six hundred rose bushes -- the tending of which requires employment of a dedicated master rosarian (at least Oprah's creating jobs, unlike her Dear Leader) -- because Oprah believes roses are a portal to the Great Beyond.
There's also a "tea house" where Oprah likes to hang out when it rains. The structure has no indoor plumbing but rather an "upscale outhouse."
?????
Oprah's random sampling of the one percent were never more enamored of themselves than during the Roots interview.
God Is In The Details
Remember a few years ago when Sarah Palin was excoriated globally for daring to say with respect to the war in Iraq that "... there is a plan and that plan is God's plan"?
The truth-scorners and heel-nippers and baby-killers and other assorted liberal bottom-feeders had a field day with that one.
How dare that upstart Governor Palin invoke the name of God when speaking of our warmongering imperialistic nation, hotbed of outdated puritanical mores and evil all-consuming greedy capitalism?
One liberal blogger went so far as to assert that Sarah Palin's remark constituted jihad.
?????
So imagine my surprise and disgust when Oprah and the Roots cast, fifty minutes into a smarm-drenched back-patting fest, agreed that by virtue of their appearing in the miniseries, they were and remain "messengers from God."
Messengers from GOD, y'all. The Roots cast truly believe they were angels sent to bring the message of the Almighty.
It couldn't be that in 1976 they were black, they were actors, they were talented black actors, they were talented black actors of the correct age, they were talented black actors of the correct age who had halfway-decent agents, and they simply got the gig?
Either way, the liberal media did not come a'running to burn them in effigy for claiming to represent God.
It's Right Here In Black And White
Oprah cited as proof of their lofty contention -- and held up a Nielsen ratings report to illustrate -- that Roots to this very day holds the record of the third-most-watched TV show in history.
Surpassed only by the final episode of M*A*S*H and the "Who Shot JR" spine-tingler on Dallas.
May we then assume the casts of M*A*S*H and Dallas were even greater messengers from God? Anyone? Bueller?
I'll answer that with another question. Could it be that because they were white, their message didn't matter?
Other ironclad evidence of the Roots cast's celestial mission was the weather on the night the show aired.
"God made it snow so hard, nobody could go anywhere," Ben Vereen proclaimed with Moses-like authority.
However, in the days before cable networks, this may not be so remarkable. As I recall, in 1977 there were, like, three channels to watch and millions of folks still didn't have a remote.
And it was January.
Kunta Kinte, Meet Coaxial Cable
Let's try it again, shall we, with the digital command-center-wielding massive flat-screen Netflixed, Blu-rayed, DVD'd and DVR'd home-theater watchers of today, and see what size audience you attract.
Run Roots against Hoarders or Swamp People or Sister Wives -- or even American Idol or Dancing With the Stars -- and see how many tune in to hear the message from God.
When they were done praising themselves, the Roots cast no doubt repaired to their rooms to dress for dinner.
At the appointed hour a tribally muu-muued Oprah, wide-angle lens in tow, waddled through her mansion headed for the kitchen acre.
There she made sure to let her viewers know it was a cast of white folks tossin' the arugula and fryin' the free-range chicken and bastin' the Coca-Cola ham and bakin' the buttermilk biscuits.
Finally the group reassembled in the dining room and commenced toasting themselves with Piper-Heidsieck before tucking into the traditional Southern feast.
Ostrich Was Not On The Menu
Clearly nobody was bothered by the fact that in those thirty-five years since Roots first aired, tens of millions of black babies have been slaughtered, sentenced to death by their own mothers.
Millions more of the ones who were allowed to live have no idea who their fathers are, but that's a non-issue because they exist only to justify more welfare dollars. And populate our prisons.
But hey, this is just me over here, a white lady who goes to work every day and pays taxes and lives in a house that, thanks to sub-prime loans awarded to minorities, is now worth one-third less than it was five years ago, making sure I keep the black race DOWN, y'all.
Because we all know the black race is the only one since the dawn of time that has been persecuted. I mean, my Irish ancestors did a jig down the path to the pot o' gold with nary a misstep and naught in the way of opposition; right?
I think not. We were oppressed and so were plenty of other people groups. Many still are. The difference is, we're up and doing. We don't whine about the past while looking under every rock for someone to blame.
Put The Jelly On The Bottom Shelf
That's what I was thinking about the other day when I was reporting the deposition of a 45-year-old black man (father of two, married to neither mother) who insists he can never work again because he put a food cart on the tailgate of a truck and it rolled off and he injured his back trying to catch it.
That put him out of commission but freed him up to count the fifty thousand dollars he got from one car wreck litigation (in which he hurt his neck and shoulder) and keep in touch with his on-speed-dial ambulance-chaser lawyer regarding the outcome of a second lawsuit that will likely net him a similar amount.
All while he gets a check for three grand per month from the State of South Carolina. That's thirty-six thousand dollars a year for doing nothing. Oh and great health insurance, which allows him to take a laundry list of heavy-hitting prescription medications for things like diabetes and high blood pressure (he's a big boy), in addition to narcotic pain pills.
He testified that he goes to the movies a lot. It passes the time. Sometimes he takes a spin on his street bike. But there is no work he can do, none whatsoever y'all. Because his back hurts.
Promises, Promises
I promise you, my back was hurting worse than his and I was working.
Could this be the "promised land" Dr. King envisioned? A land where you don't bother to get up until noon but the white folks work hard to pay for you to lay around the house and go to the movies?
Somehow I don't think so. But don't tell Oprah, the cast of Roots, or the other messengers from God at Harpy Harpo Studios.
They're too busy smelling the royalties. I mean the roses.
Reader Comments (9)
Wow! You really hit the nail on the head in this post - especially the end!
So much truth here. The last section really hit home because I used to work in the neuro unit at the hospital and we saw so many people with supposed back pain and injury - along with lawyers and requests for disability.
I also hate how the liberal media puts down anyone who doesn't agree with them.
I have to say that I saw Roots and really enjoyed it. I would even like to see it again. Do I think they were "messengers from God"? No! Do I think we should still be paying for what happened then? Absolutely not! However - We love seeing history things and that was part of history.
Hallelujah ! A rant post .
I will read it in full later.
Oh. My. This one is blazing HOT! I wanted to jump up and say "amen, sister" quite a few times!
I loved what Newt said the other night about how working at a job is better than receiving food stamps. And it all hit home to me because my very first job at the tender age of 15 was doing janitorial work at a elementary school. I scrubbed toilets, floors, and furniture with heaven only knows how many cooties. Vacuumed and dusted offices too. I proudly worked full time from that tender age, all the way through college, until I was 55 years old. Payed my own way through college too. Yes, I started out dirt poor. But was just a temporary state. I was determined to dig out of a hole, and by the grace of God, I did.
The promised land is there, if one takes personal responsibility and decides to make something of their life. And the promised land isn't all about how much money you got in the bank either.
As far as Oprah and her conceited buddies are concerned, the whole lot of them make me want to throw up. Enough said...
Firstly, I will not comment on any of the religious angles you've made, as I've finally learnt from my step mother, you and my best friend of 43 years (I'm50) , so I think that's just about lifelong, that the only friendly outcome is 'we'll have to agree to disagree' .
I can't stand Oprah either - yay we agree on something !
I've only watched her a few times in the early 90s when she had a syndicated show on one of the main channels here. She makes me feel more nauseous than I was on the first day of my 22nd year.
I did watch Roots ,and to be honest found it compelling, addictive and very well made.
The differnce betwen me and you though , as in lots of things is perspective. The 'black situation' , although problematic in some ways in the UK as a whole, (but not my part - we are 99.9% white , 2nd least diverse district in whole UK), is vastly different to the situation / problems you have , and describe and illustrate very well.
Oprah Says one thing and does Another! Can't stand her!! I hate shows that feed off the misery of others!
Roots? I was working night shift at the hospital and never saw it, but I agree with you whole heartily...What about the Irish and the potato famine? Bet THAT would make a great mini-series....?!
By the way...I really liked North an South....Hahaa...well, I did!
hughugs
Just saw this and like Donna M. , the first thought that came into my head was to say "Amen"! As to Oprah, I think that nauseous is the right word for how I've felt the few shows of hers that I did watch. "Fawner" I think best describes how she slobbers over any celebrity!! I also have worked from a very young age and never got a college education because of unfortunate events in our family. But, I never have had trouble finding work. I have even worked with a cast on my arm, and went back to work a few months after having a total knee replacement. So, when anyone tells me they can't work because of a sore anything, I have to roll my eyes at that! There are some things that prevent me from going to work. Had to go to the ER the other night for severe pain in my right side, thought it was appendicitis but it isn't. Something that antibiotics and pain medicine is helping take care of. But, I will be right back in the saddle again come Monday and not use this as an excuse for not working. And I thank God for the ablility to work!!!!
PS - Do you ever get any other males commenting here Jenny ?
As well as being a, (word I know you don't like ) , minority here ie . Liberal heathen ,
it also seems looking at quite a few posts over the last few months , that this is , (apart from my occasioal 'drive by' posts, ) a male free zone .
Why don't any of those male 'nutters' , (en-UK ) , over at www.righttruth.typepad.com , such as RJ Godlewski , ever show up here , as they must know of this site from your regular commenting over there ?
Well said!