Cart, Meet Horse
Wednesday, January 7, 2009 at 11:44PM 
Confession: with the exception of last weekend, when I was pretty busy, I've been a human study in quasi-inertia since New Year's. I chalk this up to two things: I worked very hard for all of October, November and December, and I got an extremely comfy rocker-recliner for Christmas.
Dibs on the remote!
Result: I've sort of gotten hooked on the astounding plethora of wedding shows available for viewing on the Women's Entertainment Network.
(My flip channel is Food Network, just so you know. And no; neither of my single daughters are engaged or contemplating matrimony in any sense other than the abstract.)
Among the programs I've been watching in the last week are My Fair Wedding (one night I couldn't sleep and zoned out on three wee-hours episodes, back-to-back), Platinum Weddings (if you've ever wondered how a couple can spend one million dollars on their wedding, watch this show and find out), Amazing Wedding Cakes, Rich Bride Poor Bride, Bridezillas, and Wedding Central.
Oh, and over on the Style Network there's Say Yes To The Dress and Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?
At the very least it conjures that woefully under-used expression "shameless." Throw in "clueless" for good measure.
On a particularly interesting installment of WWIIA? (it's not my fault that that acronym, at first glance, looks like World War Two), which chronicles the wedding preparations of two couples per episode, one of the brides (who of course was living with her partner ... because, you know, practically all of them are, nowadays) became pregnant during the planning of her nuptials.
Oopsie!
Amazingly however, the fact of the bride's condition and the scramble to fit a beaded white gown to her burgeoning belly and the mad dash to reach the altar before she resembled an albino whale on the "happiest day of her life" was not enough.
I watched in morbid fascination as, smack dab in the middle of her reception, the blushless bride proudly lit up a huge screen with her unborn child's ultrasound footage. It's a girl! The baby's name was printed in big letters above her throbbing, wriggling image. Then it was time to cut the wedding cake.
In the annals of bad taste and rampant tackiness on the bridal front, this has got to be a new hallmark.
Excuse me, but it's one thing for a bride to flaunt her obvious gravidity throughout an elaborate white church wedding. (Waddling down the aisle, five months gone, is so attractive!) It's quite another when, by way of post-nup entertainment, said bride makes her guests watch a video of the bun that's in the oven.
I mean, c'mon y'all ... showing pictures of the contents of the bride's uterus? I'd venture to say that even the palest outline of a sense of etiquette and propriety would recognize that as a fairly blatant breach of decorum and as such it should be deemed, well ... off limits during a wedding reception.
At the very least it conjures that woefully under-used expression "shameless." Throw in "clueless" for good measure.
Oh, and the bursting bride's occupation? She's a middle school teacher.
You don't want to get me started on the subject of being a not-so-good example to impressionable young people.
Come to think of it, her students could probably teach her a thing or two. I've heard that publically educated middle-schoolers are quite versed in birth control.
**tap tap on lectern**
This is the order of business, folks ... or it should be:
Boy meets Girl and is attracted to her wide array of charms. Boy courts Girl while keeping his hands to himself. If Boy attempts to take liberties, Girl plants both feet on the floor, looks him in the eye and says, sweetly but firmly: "No." Smitten Boy falls helplessly in love with beautiful feisty Girl. Girl reciprocates romantic affection. Boy buys diamond ring and proposes marriage to Girl. Girl says yes. Boy and Girl plan wedding. Boy and Girl exchange vows. Man and Wife go on honeymoon and get better acquainted. Man and Wife eventually produce offspring.
I never said it would be easy, but it can be done. Yes, even today.
I fully expect someone reading this to label me narrow-minded, puritanical, fussy, out of touch, prudish, behind the times, judgmental, unrealistic, unenlightened, unsophisticated, intolerant, fuddy-duddy, dull, mean-spirited, killjoy, goody-two-shoes, old fashioned, boring, pedantic, dogmatic, archaic, frustrated, sub-Victorian and hyper-religious.
But whoever does so will be wrong.
Because what I am in this case is simply right ... and fortunate enough to know that I'm right. My children have benefitted from this. Sexual purity before marriage is God's way and, as such, it's still the best way. Of all the things one can do to ensure a happy life (and there are many), this is among the most important. Teach it to your kids if it's not too late.
Now excuse me while I recline. Bridezillas is next!
Reader Comments (16)
We have noticed this same thing on many of those shows. I like a lot of the design shows and so many of them are couples living together with the occasional same sex partners thrown in. It makes it seem as if this is the normal way to do things and if you have a problem with it you are non-tolerant!
@ Mari ... exactly! Meanwhile, teenage pregnancy is epidemic in America. Can anyone connect the dots? Children, at the proper age, should be taught abstinence until marriage. Sadly, I think the ship has sailed and we can never go back. All we can do is pray, and talk, and pray some more, with a view toward salvaging a few girls who will listen to reason.
Very well said, Jen. As you and I are in the "very happily married 30 years club" I think perhaps people can trust us when we say waiting works. I am happy to report that there are an increasing number of (often homeschooled) girls, and boys too for that matter, who GET IT!!! Teaching girls that virginity is a gift God has entrusted them with until they give it to their husbands as a wedding present really can have an impact on our children. Teaching boys chivalry toward girls works as well!
@ Tracie ... absolutely, every word, luv! The only way kids are going to wait is if it is taught to them on purpose. Not just rules, but reasons behind the rules. After all, their happiness and future success in relationships is at stake! Not to mention their physical and emotional safety.
Like (I imagine) most guys, I've never watched one of those wedding shows. However, knowing the way our society is these days, it doesn't surprise me AT ALL that many of the the shows feature couples already living together or already pregnant. It's become commonplace. This knowledge depresses me to no end.
Your "order of business" is spot on. Alas, it seems (to most people) to have gone the way of the dodo. How sad is THAT?
Kev, it's very sad indeed. The only hope for the American family is if we keep harping away on the virtues of pre-marital purity! God help us!
Soon as I saw "wedding shows" in the opening paragraphs, I ran screaming for cover ;-) Actually, among the younger generation I see at work, pregnancy without marriage -- which sometimes follows, sometimes not, but almost always guarantees a divorce later on -- is almost SOP in some areas.
Words mean things. So do vows. Or at least, they once did, somewhere. I long ago vowed never to take such a vow I wasn't 100% up to keeping. So far, I ain't broken THAT vow ;-) Probably doesn't hurt that the "one that got away" during my college days was probably my best chance to rectify that. Oh well.
With Democrats in charge, I don't see anything that remotely involves improving morality any time soon.
SF, as usual you illuminate the subject matter in a unique and meaningful way! But ... one got away? Do tell! LOL ... your final sentence certainly is spot on. We seem more concerned with sexiness in candidates (on both sides of the aisle) than in actual substance.
We do not have a TV but I do understand what you are saying. I just watch the teenagers in my neighborhood and it is so sad. None of their parents go to church so they really do not hear what God says about morality. I could go on and on here but maybe I should just pray for them.
Cheryl, you are so right about the sad state of today's young people. With so many of the adults (teachers and parents, to name a few) in their lives being such poor examples, you wonder if they stand a chance. You may be the only Christian who ever prays for the young folks in your neighborhood!
Jen,
the problem is not lack of education.... I feel sure that all who are involved in cart before the horse are fully aware that it is out of order... the problem is that they just do not care or fear God in any way. They have in fact, usurped God's power by making their own rules therefore placing themselves in some kingdom other than the one where Jesus is Lord. I fear it will only get worse and the consequences are sufferred by the children who are at best sharing families and trying to make the best of things.Most times, these parents only stay together a couple of years and then move on to greener pastures ...carrying with them the little tots that now have to contend with all the single status of their parents again, parties, new daddies and mommies and so on and so on until they grow up and need counseling because they feel unloved and have no anchor. Don't get me started !!!!
@ Dixie ... "Don't get me started" ... girl that is soooo my line! LOL! And you are preaching to the choir. I did not mean to imply (if I did) that I believe the problem here is lack of education. The problem is Biblical illiteracy gone rampant in a society that identifies very few behaviors as immoral anymore. It is a sick, sad situation. We need to gird our children's minds with the Word of God and pray earnestly that they are strong enough to resist temptation!
Reclining sounds perfectly delightful!
I have to agree with you on this. I think there's a reason the divorce rate is so high. It would be nice for the newly married to spend some time getting to know and appreciate each other, enjoying their time together, pre-kids. Babies are such a life changing experience, the foundation for them should be strong. Of course, at the risk of sounding judgmental, every case is different, but if only couples would think more carefully before...
Keli, reclining is delightful, but I'm getting bored with it. I guess it will just be nice to know that my chair is there when I need it! It's a great place to enjoy that first morning coffee ... and you are right; every case is different. Even if people do not care to inject morals into the equation, it's just all about making the wisest choices for your life and the lives of your children.
And not being unforgivably TACKY!
On a funnier note, the Lord works in mysterious ways: On the weekend last year when Amy got engaged, I came across a "Bridezilla" marathon. Dale was out of town, I was home alone, so I kicked back and started watching. I knew, with my personality (and Amy's), that if I wasn't careful, I could become a crazy Momzilla. I literally prayed while watching some of the unbelievable attitudes and asked the Lord to help me not go there. Over the next 11 months, the Lord would bring those shows to mind and I am happy to say that because of that initial warning, the whole wedding planning experience was truly a joyful and bonding time for Amy and me!
Donna darling, you could NEVER be a momzilla!
Could you?
LOL!
The wedding was beautiful and went so smoothly. I cherish the memory!