Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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Our four children

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Our eight grandchildren

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

> Jennifer <

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

Hoist The Colors

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

> Ralph Waldo Emerson <

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

> Jenny the Pirate <

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks

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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

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THE DREAMERS

In the dawn of the day of ages,
 In the youth of a wondrous race,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw the marvel,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw God's face.


On the mountains and in the valleys,
By the banks of the crystal stream,
He wandered whose eyes grew heavy
With the grandeur of his dream.

The seer whose grave none knoweth,
The leader who rent the sea,
The lover of men who, smiling,
Walked safe on Galilee --

All dreamed their dreams and whispered
To the weary and worn and sad
Of a vision that passeth knowledge.
They said to the world: "Be glad!

"Be glad for the words we utter,
Be glad for the dreams we dream;
Be glad, for the shadows fleeing
Shall let God's sunlight beam."

But the dreams and the dreamers vanish,
The world with its cares grows old;
The night, with the stars that gem it,
Is passing fair, but cold.

What light in the heavens shining
Shall the eye of the dreamer see?
Was the glory of old a phantom,
The wraith of a mockery?

Oh, man, with your soul that crieth
In gloom for a guiding gleam,
To you are the voices speaking
Of those who dream their dream.

If their vision be false and fleeting,
If its glory delude their sight --
Ah, well, 'tis a dream shall brighten
The long, dark hours of night.

> Edward Sims Van Zile <

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Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
    Elements Series: Fire
    by Peter Kater
  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Grace
    Grace
    Old World Records
  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    Stone Angel Music, Inc.
  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
    Copia
    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
    Spring Hill Music
  • Nightfall
    Nightfall
    Narada Productions, Inc.
  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
    RCA
  • The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    The Pity Party: A Mean-Spirited Diatribe Against Liberal Compassion
    by William Voegeli
  • The Art of Memoir
    The Art of Memoir
    by Mary Karr
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
    by Emily Dickinson
  • Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    Among The Dead: My Years in The Port Mortuary
    by John W. Harper
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    by Steven Milloy
  • The Amateur
    The Amateur
    by Edward Klein
  • Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    Hating Jesus: The American Left's War on Christianity
    by Matt Barber, Paul Hair
  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
    by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
    by Tod Benoit
  • Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    Bird Brains: The Intelligence of Crows, Ravens, Magpies, and Jays
    by Candace Savage
  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
    by John Marzluff Ph.D., Tony Angell
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
    by Bernd Heinrich
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
    by E. Merrill Root
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
    by Alexandra Day
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
    by Lynne Truss
  • The American Way of Death Revisited
    The American Way of Death Revisited
    by Jessica Mitford
  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
    by Peter Schweizer
  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
    by Brannon Howse
  • Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow: The Tragic Courtship and Marriage of Paul Laurence Dunbar and Alice Ruth Moore
    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
    Waiting for "Superman"
    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999 - 2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

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~ RIP SHILOH ~

2017 - 2021

My Tar Heel Granddog

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~ RIP RAMBO ~

2008 - 2022

Andrew's Beloved Pet

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Friday
Jun252010

Snapshot Saturday

I've never met Jimbob but he must be very serious about Leah if he'd risk life and limb to scale this dilapidated water tower and declare his love for her in such a public way.

Seen in Greenville, South Carolina, June 25, 2010

High on love.

The hearts are an adorable touch:


Backwards it's Leah Loves Jimbob.

Thursday
Jun242010

SkyWatch Friday

Sky over Columbia, South Carolina, June 23, 2010

Link up and post your own skypics!

I welcome your comments but please kindly do not post links.

Wednesday
Jun232010

Water in ... money out

The pool fairies mock us.It started a week or so ago when I noticed the swimming pool seemed to be losing ground.

Uh … water. 

There's evaporation and there's splashout, but neither explained the mystifying fact that our water couldn't seem to stay level with the bottom of the topmost row of blue blocks. 

Were hundreds of pool elves slipping tiny straws into the water while we slept and slaking their little elfin thirsts by drinking our swimming water? I wondered.

Presently I mentioned it to TG.

"Huhnnnmmm," he said.

A Deep Discovery

A few days later I was lolling in the shallow end when my foot detected an indentation in the floor of the pool. Upon investigation with my toe, I found a minuscule half-moon shaped hole in the liner. Still using my toe, I teased some grit from the hole.

Uh-oh.

Did you know that if you punch a hole in the liner of your pool with a ballpoint pen, through that little tiny hole you'll lose an inch of water a day?

This according to the man who put a weight belt around his waist and a SCUBA tank on his back this afternoon and "dove" my pool from end to end, looking for holes to go with the one we already knew about.

He didn't find any. 

The pre-identified hole was quickly patched and we were once again in business.

Pay The Pool Piper

Since the heat climbs to 99 each day and the humility is near triple digits too, this is important. When I'm melting in traffic, I'm thinking about my refreshing evening dip.

"How much do I owe you," I asked the dripping pool man. Real nice guy.

"Seventy-five'll do it. I normally get a hundred-fifty but since you pointed out where the hole was, seventy-five'll do fine."

Hydrangea unrelated to story.He was at my house for twenty minutes. Ten minutes of that he was swimming in my pool.

The man is making four-hundred fifty dollars an hour for paddling around with rocks tied to his body, applying bandaids.

I knew guys who went to law school during the Kennedy administration who still can't bill that much per hour ... although come to think of it, some of them are all wet.

More Shocking Circumstances

What's tragic funny is that earlier this week, we had to hire an electrician. 

Because suddenly and for no reason we could figure out, there was no electricity in our bedroom. 

There was power in the master bath and in all the rooms around the master bedroom, but not in our room. 

TG tried very hard to fix it. No expletives were uttered but I fear we came perilously close. 

The nice electrician discovered there's an outlet with a switch on the outside wall of our house. I use the outlet to plug Christmas lights in every year. The rest of the time I forget about it.

But water had gotten into the switch apparatus and shorted it out, taking our bedroom electricity with it.

When all was put back to rights and the dripping electrician (he hadn't been in the pool … that's just how hot it was) was ready to go, I faced the music.

Ivy leave you have a problem."How much do I owe you," I asked.

"One eighty-five'll do it," he said. 

Settle Up And Settle Down

I told him it didn't seem like enough. He'd been there three hours. He'd crawled around underneath my house! He'd gone to Lowe's and bought switch boxes. He didn't get to go swimming.

"If you want to make it two hundred that'll be okay too," he allowed.

I made it two hundred. Why not? I can read in bed again without holding the tiny LED flashlight Andrew gave me. I can watch an old movie from my pillow. I can walk around the room without stubbing my toe. TG is in the clear.

So to sum up … pool guy making $450 an hour. Electrician making a shade under $70 an hour. Both being paid by a court reporter who makes $40 an hour … when she works, and when copy attorneys live up to their designation by actually ordering copies.

Talk about your cash flow.

The pirate said it best: apparently there's a leak.

Tuesday
Jun222010

Haiku for a summer night

Pink stain reaches while

Trees rescind their eager green

Become night's dark arms

Monday
Jun212010

Three degrees of Chihuahua separation

Wowa love.The first Chihuahua I ever remember meeting personally was named Consuela.

Consuela was my hairdresser's pet and she looked and acted exactly as I'd always been led to believe Chihuahuas are inclined to appear and behave.

Impossibly tiny. Ridiculously bony. Shaking from head to tail to prehensile paws and back again. Yapping incessantly.

Ugly. Rat-doggish. Bug-eyed. Shrill.

And I'm a dog lover.

And dogs love me! Across the board.

Chihuahuas With Cold Shoulders

But Consuela had ignored that memo. When I indicated that I wanted to hold and pet her while her owner groomed me, she was vehemently disinclined to acquiesce to my request.

Vexing. Perplexing.

I promptly forgot all about Chihuahuas. For years we'd been Beagle people anyway. I've loved many a Beagle and, when it came to dogs, always thought of myself as a hound and spaniel sort of person.

The toy canine varieties didn't seem like "real" dogs to me.

I'm almost ashamed to tell you this because it's humiliatingly bourgeois, but all of that changed with the Taco Bell TV commercials in the late '90s.

The Taco Bell dog's name wasn't Gordita but that's what we called her at our house. My kids were constantly saying "Yo quiero Taco Bell" and "Drop the chalupa" whereupon we'd all laugh hysterically.

We were living in central Ohio (which perhaps explains why we were so easily amused). I commuted to Columbus each weekday, where I worked at a law firm.

A Chihuahua Calls My Name

One day in July of 1999 I was in the lobby of our building when I saw Shelly, a paralegal, walking toward me. Shelly had something small and white in her arms.

When I got up to Shelly I realized the small white something was a dog. A Chihuahua.

Name of Sparky.

Sparky was less than three months old. Shelly had bought him -- and his brother -- from a reputable breeder in Zanesville, Ohio.

Sparky was perhaps one of the top three cutest dogs I'd ever seen. Up till then I didn't even know Chihuahuas came in white and melted your heart like that, on contact.

I wanted one.

We owned a Beagle (RIP Buckley, 1997-2005) at the time and the last thing we needed was a Chihuahua.

But I wanted one.

Our daughter Audrey wanted one too. A teenager with her first job, and uber-enamored of the Taco Bell dog, she had already announced her intention to acquire a Chihuahua.

Adios, Pesos ... Hola, Chihuahua

In the spirit of striking while the burrito was hot, I went home and told the kids about meeting Sparky.

Audrey and I reached an agreement: if it all worked out, we'd go halvsies on the new dog. (I often tell her she bought Javier's back half and I bought his front half.)

I got clearance from TG to spend a portion of our hard-earned income on a dog that would not exceed six pounds fully grown, soaking wet, and stuffed with table scraps.

I called the reputable Chihuahua breeder the next day.

Turned out there was a very young litter for sale, but only two of the pups remained un-spoken for. If I drove out to Zanesville after work I'd be able to pick out a puppy and meet its parents (which, I'd been led to believe, was important).

That's how I met and called dibs (via cash deposit) on Javier. He was so small he fit in the palm of my hand. His eyes were not yet open. It would be several weeks before we could bring him home.

The ensuing days crawled by like when a kid waits for Christmas. I don't know how my children handled it; that was just me.

The early September afternoon I drove back to Zanesville to finish paying for Javier was a typical Midwestern stormy Indian summer day. All the way home Javier lay in my lap, his head propped on my arm. 

His little teal crate sat empty on the seat beside us. His huge brown eyes never left my face.

Chihuahuas Equal Devotion

Speaking of eyes, Javier's are slightly buggy. He does tremble now and then, and he's a superior watchdog but only growls and barks when necessary. Squirrels in the yard elevate his hackles as much as anything.

He never yips or yaps.

The place he wants to be is in a lap or glommed onto the side of a sleeping person, being stroked and petted and massaged or simply absorbing any human warmth available for dog consumption.

He's lazy but not aimless. His aim is to make his humans happy by providing comfort and understanding like only a dog can do. If you cry a tear, he immediately shows up to lick your face. It's like he knows the very moment you need sloppy kisses and unconditional love.

Javier is very intelligent and may be gifted; he knows lots of words besides his name (and variations on his name, including "Harvey").

Included in his impressive vocabulary are "Mom" and "Dad" and "Erica" and "crate" and "bed" and "outside" and "eat" and "walk" and the questions "Go bye-bye?" and "Bath?" and "Trim your nails?" 

Those last two querys cause him to tremble in a way that reminds me of Consuela.

And the way he is adored reminds me of how I knew I could love a Chihuahua when I met Sparky.

I like the way one dog leads to another. 

I love my precious and comical -- and very real -- little dog.