Unforgivably Random Post
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 12:44AM 
The squirrels around my house are up to something. Never before have we witnessed such behavior in our furry little friends.
You might as well know at this juncture that I'm one of those people who don't mind squirrels being around. I think they're cute. I don't get mad at them or anything. Maybe that's because I don't have birdfeeders in my yard. I am too lazy busy to fill birdfeeders. Actually I had a birdfeeder at our last house over three years ago, which TG bought for me (the birdfeeder that is ... well, okay, the house too). It was affixed to a six-foot-high pole and I used to love sitting in my sunroom watching the little birdies perch on top of the birdfeeder (it was in the shape of a bird-sized dwelling) and twitter and tweet and eat and flick husks to the ground with their wee beaks and tail feathers.
TG inspected the twigs and described them as "chewed" at the place where they used to be part of the tree.
One day in late summer I noticed no birds were going near the birdfeeder even though it was packed full of birdseed. Also I saw that stray seeds from the birdfeeder had materialized on my deck, intact. The deck was at least ten yards from the feeder and our birds were not in the habit of ordering takeout. They always dined right on the feeder. So I ventured out to investigate and what do you think I saw? Millions -- yes, millions -- of ants tripping all over themselves to climb up that pole and inundate the store of birdseed. The ants were carrying the morsels of seed intended for the birds back to my deck to ... well, I don't know what they intended to do but I know what I did: I stopped filling the birdfeeder and when we moved it didn't move with us.
Anyway, back to strange squirrel behavior at our current residence. There is a massive oak tree that towers over our house. The leaf canopy is enormous, shading much of our roof. I mean, this tree is old, y'all. I love the tree. It sings with cicadas in summer and the squirrels love to clatter around in there stealing acorns, and even when it dumps approximately 844,663,357 leaves onto my lawn and into my pool in the fall, I don't care because I don't do yard or pool work. I'm too lazy busy; remember?
This morning when TG left for work he heard an unusually loud chirping and chattering sound way, way up in our oak tree. Also there were snapping noises and small branches (just twigs really, but heavy with full-grown leaves on the ends) were practically raining down from the tree to the sidewalk in front of our steps. He looked up and saw what appeared to be a bunch of squirrels gnawing on the bases of these twigs where they jutted out of larger branches. The twigs would snap and fall to the ground and the squirrels would start in on another one. TG inspected the fallen twigs and described them as "chewed" at the place where they used to be part of the tree.
Just what I would expect when squirrels have gnawed them through at the base and sent them crashing to the ground.
I'd go out there and take a picture of the leafed-out twigs literally covering our bottom two steps and the sidewalk in front of them -- the squirrels' handiwork, as it were -- but I'm too lazy busy. Use your imagination.
I don't know why our squirrels are doing this. Do you? Is it something sinister? Are we bad people? Will the squirrels chew the entire tree down? Should we report our squirrels to the authorities? Are there squirrel authorities? Is it just a phase the squirrels are going through? Will Steven Spielberg make a movie about it? Should I get a makeover just in case?
So many questions.
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My son has a cell phone attached to his hand. Occasionally it migrates to his ear and becomes attached there. Very infrequently it rests in its clip on his belt or waistband. It is never there for a significant length of time because invariably after 2.4 seconds it will begin vibrating like a giant insect and he will grab it and begin furiously texting OR sometimes actually say "Hello?"
Once in a while he switches its alert mode from buzzing to a "ringtone" that is actually a strangely chipmunky voice that says: "Let me out! I'm stuck in your pocket!" It's really funny. I have been known to get caught off guard and snort Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi when I hear it. So very feminine.
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I cannot get my mind off the young man from my state who was decapitated at Six Flags Over Georgia last Saturday. I spent so many happy summer days and nights at Six Flags Over Georgia, back when I was a teenager. I have tried to imagine being on a ride or in line for a ride at an amusement park and seeing a human being lose his life in such a grisly way as a result of coming in contact with a ride. But how tragic that a pair of older teenagers would wilfully disregard two high fences and several warning signs in order to enter the park in a restricted area. So many problems in life can be avoided by practicing simple obedience. Yes ... the rules apply to each of us even when we don't agree with them or when it is inconvenient to obey them. I am so sorry that this young man did not learn or believe that simple truth, or if he did he momentarily ignored it, and now he is gone forever. I have been praying for his family.
Reader Comments (18)
I never heard of ants in a feeder or squirrels chomping on branches. Vitamin deficiencies on your properties perhaps???
I hereby forgive this random post.
You got some weirdo squirrels. Just don't set out traps for them, like our neighbors. YES! TRAPS FOR SQUIRRELS!
Now THAT is unforgiveable.
@ windyridge ... now there's a thought!
@ JD ... boy, I'll say. That's cruel ... the little squirrels don't mean anybody any harm! They can chew my branches all day long. I just wish they'd clean up after themselves.
There is a solution to your problem.
2 pounds potatoes
1 large onion
2 quarts beef or chicken stock
1 large squirrel cleaned and quartered.
Simmer in crock pot 12 hours, season as needed.
Mmmm Mmmm Good!
@ Don ... Yes, it sounds delicious but I still have a problem ... who's gonna catch the little bad boys?
Squirrels are extremely smart. I once did a study and determined they have far more intelligence than stupers (short as you know, for undeniably stupid persons). So your little guys are definitely up to something. I once used a no kill trap to transfer over 40 squirrels to a nearby Lake area. (I lost count after 40). I don't mind them either!
@ Keli ... You caught and transferred 40 squirrels? Good grief! We did have to do that with a few raccoons once, in Ohio. They were nesting in the attic ... the squirrels appear to have lost interest in my tree ... for now ...
I don't mind squirrels either. Super cute...my sister and I used to "tame" them when we were kids, feed them peanut butter on popsicle sticks and whole nuts when we were kids, we had a couple that basically lived on our back porch...but SOMETIMES they can be really annoying - my mom has a birdfeeder right now, too, that the squirrels climb and eat all the bird food. Hers is empty now, too, and not being refilled. ;) Weird about the sticks, though! Nest building, perhaps?
@ Angi ... do they do that ... build nests, I mean? I don't know but after they gnawed the branches they left them on the ground! How CUTE and FUN to feed them peanut butter on a stick! I would love to do that. They're so adorable and furry.
I was going to say they were going to build a nest. Check out trees after they lose their leaves in the fall and you'll see lots of squirrel nests. I used to get so mad when they'd gnaw off the tender young shoots from my dogwood tree to make their nests. So, who knows? Weird.
I didn't know any of the detail of the boy killed at 6 Flags. How tragic.
Squirrels do make nests. They actually move quite frequently. The old nest get infested with fleas so they'll build a new one until that one gets infested, and so on. Cute little buggers, though.
Sounds like you've got some rogue squirrels on your hands.
@ Cheryl and RJ ... I'm not surprised squirrels build nests because that makes perfect sense. But what's so unusual about this is that in three years of living under this tree they haven't done this with the twigs, and also they are not coming down and taking what they gnaw off! You should see the pile that's collected down there! Also, if you look up into the tree you can see LOTS more branches they've gnawed off that have not fallen to the ground but have withered up there! I wish I knew what it was about. Nothing bad I hope ...
Ok, this is really a nutty idea, but I had a dog that had a false pregnancy and did this weird nesting activity and even tried nursing on her own nipples. So maybe one of your squirrels went through something similarly traumatic? (I told you it was weird.)
We heard about the kid at Six Flags up here. So sad.
P.S. I've got to tell you that you put the best verses in your comments on my posts.
@ Ruth ... interesting! I have heard that animals eat various plants when they don't feel well, but I think this is more than one squirrel doing the munching! I hope they're not all sick!
I'm so glad you like the verses. Your posts are very interesting and thought-provoking as well!
I love watching the squirrels, Jenny! I don't mind having them around either. I don't know what your critters are up to, though... sounds like they're preparing for something! Maybe ants??? Ha ha!
Speaking of ants in your birdfeeder.... you have ants, I have wasps in mine! No kidding! Right now, as I'm typing this, I have two feeders with a wasp nest in each one! Heavily occupied, too!
I heard about the teen at Six Flags. That is so terrible. I'd heard he was trying to find a hat he had lost... How awful that must have been for the others to witness!
@ Darla ... certainly tragic about the boy. I don't know about the hat story being true because several news accounts disputed that. Whatever he was doing, he should not have been doing it, and it is so very sad that he lost his life for something so meaningless.
WASPS in your birdfeeders? See ... that's why I don't have a birdfeeder anymore! Too much trouble! As for the squirrels, I think this calls for more observation ...
If that squirrel thing happens again, or if you're curious about the behavior (and who wouldn't be), does your state have anything like a "county extension office"? If so, that'd be the people to ask. Massachusetts has these offices and that's how I came to attend Honeybee School. The county extension people sort of keep abreast of farm- and nature-related stuff like caterpillar infestations and mosquitoes and such.
P.L., if it continues, I believe I will do just that. I hadn't thought of it but even animal control might have some idea what the deal is. I loved your honeybee post, by the way! So cute. The very best pet ...