Straighten up and fly right

The plane that bore our Allissa from Washington to Williamsport

I would warn you that the following story is one with -- as Dagny would say -- all oopsies and no daisies, but I believe that amongst the oopsies we shall find a few daisies.

Allow me to elaborate. 

On Saturday, our Stephanie shared a special text with us. It involved our granddaughter Allissa's first truly independent adventure. Allissa is seventeen.

You may recall that last January, Allissa's Grampy -- our Joel's dad -- passed away unexpectedly. Since that time, Allissa has texted her Grammy Debbie in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, every morning, to tell her that she loves her and is praying for her.

I know that Debbie has cherished those texts.

At some point in recent weeks, Allissa developed a dream and a desire to travel to Pennsylvania on her own and spend some time with her Grammy. Just the two of them.

Since Joel and Stephanie and their children have for years spent the Fourth of July week in Williamsport (home of the Little League World Series), where Joel was born and raised, it made sense for Allissa to make her journey just ahead of their official family visit.

That way, she can travel back to North Carolina with her family, by car.

So it was that Allissa enlisted the help of her mother. Our Stephanie is one of those people who will hunt relentlessly for the best deals and best prices for just about anything.

And she found a ticket on Allegiant Air that would get our Allissa from Asheville Regional Airport to Dulles International Airport in Washington DC, for a mere fifty-four dollars.

Then -- and this is one of the daisies (or at least had the potential to be) -- she found a small airline that provides a connecting flight from Dulles direct to Williamsport, which is two hundred miles away. The cost was ninety-nine dollars.

(And when I say small airline, you must take me at my word. It's called Southern Airways Express and Stephanie described the aircraft that would take our Allissa from the nation's capital to Williamsport as a puddle jumper.)

(You should know that Allissa was safely in Williamsport before I knew anything about her travel plans, or I would likely have taken to the bed with a case of the fantods knowing that my granddaughter would be flying in such a plane. There were two pilots and all of three passengers!)

(I flew from Columbia to Williamsport in 2002, about eighteen months after Stephanie moved there as a new bride, and I seem to remember that my itinerary took me through Philadelphia.)

(But on that occasion there was some sort of mechanical or weather event and my connecting flight to Williamsport was canceled. The closest I could get by air was State College, Pennsylvania -- home of Penn State -- more than sixty miles from Williamsport.)

(Joel's dad, the late Pastor David Bixler, drove the hour-or-so distance with one of Joel's brothers to pick me up in State College and carry me to Williamsport. He was the consummate cheerful, helpful gentleman.)

Sweet Allissa at Asheville Regional Airport

But in Allilssa's case, the plan looked foolproof. The trip to Asheville by car took about ninety minutes and her flight was on time.

But let's back up so I can give you some information that you're going to need in order to truly appreciate this saga.

A couple of days before Allissa was to leave, Stephanie got a strong gut feeling that she should call someone at Southern Airways Express and make sure that they were okay with a seventeen-year-old flying by herself.

(She'd already confirmed that Allegiant allowed seventeen-year-olds -- still technically minors in some states -- to travel unaccompanied by an adult.)

But when a female Customer Service Representative at Southern Airways Express -- the airline for the second leg of the trip -- learned the reason for Stephanie's call, she issued a warning that was as stern as it was lengthy.

The upshot of that protracted conversation -- which included the CSR slowly reading a wordy passage from a list of regulations -- was that in no way and no wise, under no circumstances, would Allissa Joy Bixler, age seventeen, be allowed to waltz off of the Allegiant plane at Dulles International Airport, find the gate for Southern Airways Express, and board that plane without being accompanied by an adult. 

And not some random adult, but someone who could explain their relationship to the minor passenger.

The CSR lady did not say that someone had to fly with Allissa, but just that an adult had to be with her at the gate both when she boarded in DC and when she deplaned in Williamsport.

(Not the same adult. It could be two different people, haha.)

And there would be forms to fill out and sign, and it was serious business, and don't think we are just saying this to hear ourselves talk. The policy is ironclad. No exceptions will be made or contemplated.

Stephanie thought, Oh NO. Because of course, who did she know in Washington DC who could meet Allissa's plane last Friday and see her onto her connecting flight? 

No one.

BUT providence intervened and Stephanie thought of something that might work.

Stephanie's husband Joel has two brothers. One of them, James, is married to a lovely girl named Heidi. And Heidi has a sister named Holly, who lives in the Washington DC area.

And Stephanie knew that on Friday, James and Heidi would be driving from their home in Williamsport, to attend a graduation party on Saturday for their nephew, Holly's son.

So she called James to see whether he and Heidi could be at Dulles International Airport to meet Allissa's plane and show an ID and sign a form and get her onto the connecting flight.

Allissa thoroughly enjoyed being up in the clouds

But that plan was bust because in fact James and Heidi would not arrive in Northern Virginia in time to be of any help to Allissa.

Heidi, thinking quickly, offered to call her sister and see whether Holly could do them that favor.

Holly was more than glad to help, and so it was established that Holly would show up at Dulles International Airport at the appointed time, obtain a gate pass, and be in the proper spot to meet Allissa's flight from Asheville.

She'd then walk with her to the Southern Airways Express gate, show her ID (the CSR rep had stressed the absolute necessity of this), sign the form, and stay until Allissa had boarded the puddle jumper.

So, relying on her sister-in-law's sister to be her proxy in DC, Stephanie called her mother-in-law.

Grammy Debbie readily agreed to meet Allissa's plane in Williamsport early enough that there would be ample time to show her ID, sign the requisite form, and fetch her granddaughter. 

(She would have been there anyway, to retrieve Allissa, but this was an added layer of responsibility and she needed to be prepared.)

(You should know that the Williamsport Regional Airport -- minus the runway -- would comfortably fit inside your local Walmart, with room left over for a bowling alley.)

There is but one gate. You can see the just-departing or just-arrived plane through an open door over to the left.

At this point Stephanie, having all of her ducks lined up for Allissa's trip, could breathe easily. You'd have to know our Stephanie to appreciate all of this, because she was born worrying. She's a quintessential mother hen.

In a good way. Let's just say, she's going to cover all the bases, and then some. She's diligent and detail-oriented. And, apparently, proficient at networking.

So it was that she and her children took off on Friday morning for Asheville, where Allissa would board an Allegiant Airways plane for the first leg of her journey.

Stephanie obtained a gate pass so that she could go with Allissa all the way to the gate and watch her board.

If I know my Stephanie, she then texted Holly, her brother-in-law's sister-in-law (stay with me) in Northern Virginia, and told her that it was all systems go. Allissa would arrive at the appointed time.

Holly acknowledged all of this and once again agreed, promising Stephanie that she would be on hand to fulfill the strict requirements of Southern Airways Express ahead of Allissa boarding the puddle jumper bound for Williamsport.

It was practically one pilot per passenger

But you won't believe.

When Holly arrived at the Southern Airways Express gate at Dulles International Airport, and told the desk agent the reason she was there, she was laughed to scorn.

The agent, along with another agent, mocked her openly. What on earth did she mean, she had to show an ID and sign a form in order to put her brother-in-law's seventeen-year-old niece onto one of their planes?

Holly stood her ground. I was not there (lucky for them) but Holly told Stephanie that she repeated to the agents her reason for being there, and relayed the fact that the company's CSR had given the child's mother a stern warning concerning the no-exceptions aspect of this rule.

The agents continued to laugh at Holly, look at one another in wonderment as though Holly had suggested that the three of them get on the microphone and belt out Build Me Up Buttercup in three-part harmony, and to tell her that they did not have a clue what she was talking about.

So rude.

Holly demanded -- politely, I am sure -- to speak with an airline manager. One appeared and, within a few minutes, confirmed that what Holly was saying was true. She was indeed required by the airline to produce an ID and sign a form in order to get Allissa installed on the flight to Williamsport.

The agents simply were not aware of this supposedly ironclad policy, and moreover were so unprofessional as to make fun of someone attempting to abide by said policy.

I think someone should lose their job.

I recommended to Stephanie that she should contact the Chairman and CEO of Southern Airways Express and tell him this story. His name is Stan Little and he lives in Palm Beach, Florida.

And I hope that she will do that. Because I think Stan should know how uninformed his gate agents are, and most of all, how they treat the paying customers.

Because wait; there's more.

Joel's mother, Allissa's Grammy Debbie, presented herself at the gate for Southern Airways Express in Williamsport shortly after (but unaware of) all of the drama in DC, as Allissa was en route, prepared to show her ID and sign the form in accordance with the non-negotiable rules set down by Southern Airways Express regarding minors.

And the exact same thing happened.

The agent mocked her. Laughed at her and said that what Debbie was saying was the craziest thing they'd ever heard. Or words to that effect.

But like Holly earlier in the day, Debbie stood her ground, so much so that the agent ultimately located the form that needed signing, and Debbie signed it, and by then Allissa had arrived, and Debbie collected her precious cargo and they went home.

It was fortuitous that such a flight existed

I texted Allissa to tell her how proud I was of her for being brave enough to fly off into the blue without her mother. She responded that it had all been so thrilling. What a precious young lady she is.

Then I remembered that I went off to college hundreds of miles from our home, flying back and forth between Chicago and New Orleans and Chicago and Atlanta, multiple times during those years, all by myself.

This is significant because I was seventeen when I went away to college. Maybe Allissa gets her adventurous streak from me. I choose to believe that. Pirate!

Meanwhile have you been even marginally entertained by this labyrinthine travelogue? I hope so. Have you any such or similar stories of your own? I hope not.

And that is all for now.

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A man walked into a pet store and asked to buy twelve bees. But when his order had been fulfilled, he noticed that he'd been given thirteen bees.

That last one was a free bee 🐝

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Happy Tuesday :: Happy July

Comments

[Mari]

Oh my word! What a crazy situation. Yes, they need to contact the CEO. It was bad enough to happen once, but then to happen again is awful, not to mention their attitudes. Good for Allisa for doing this and I think she does take after her pirate Grandma! And I think Stephanie does too.
When Laura was 16 she went with her friend and our neighbor to Germany. This friend's grandparents lived there and invited them to be there with them for a month. I knew they were trustworthy people but that flight had me nervous. All went well until the flight back home. We got to the airport to pick them up (Us, the neighbors, my family...) The people got off the plane and our girls weren't with them. Panic! We finally found that something happened with a connecting flight and they came in a few hours later, but I think I lost a year of my life!

[Amanda Bennett]

We’re all still hoping that you’re working on a very detailed post about your daughter Audrey’s wedding. I know I’ve been looking forward to it since the grand occasion and want to read your telling of the tale!

[Ginny Hartzler]

Allissa is just the sweetest, most precious girl! So kind-hearted. This tale is almost unbelievable!! Those employees were not trained properly, plus they had bad manners and social judgement!

[Ginny Hartzler]

P.S. Your post title is perfect. And I actually remember this song quite well!

[Jennifer]

@Mari ... Ugh back in the days before cell phones I guess you just got what you got and had to sort out the details later! I would have lost a year off my life too! But what a great opportunity for Laura as a teenager! All I know is that if gate agents ridiculed me for following their own rules, I might demand that they call the CEO on the spot, hahaha! I'm glad Allissa wasn't there to witness all of that drama, still being up in the air seeking thrills, haha! xoxo

@Amanda ... I will do it! Thanks for holding my feet to the fire. xoxo

@Ginny ... they were truly awful and so rude. They ought to be straightened up right out the door! Great song, hahaha xoxo