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I Think I Might Scream ...
Friday, October 3, 2008 at 10:44PM 
... if I hear somebody say "CHANGE" one more time. (As slogans go, that one is sure-fire. Nobody has to do anything at all, and things will still change. It's meaningless.)
... if I see that crook Barney Frank's face again, or have to listen to him speak. Talk about gross. (The only positive thing I can say about this individual is that his being a homosexual is a tremendous gift to all womankind.)
... if I look up once more and espy the coldly condescending bespectacled left-wing sneers of either Charles Gibson or Katie Couric. (I wonder if, before preparing for their "interviews," they could answer their own questions without help from their many staffers?)
... if I have to look at one more closeup of Sarah Palin's shapely gams and pumped-up peep-toe footwear. (What is this ... a pin-up contest?)
Just your average election year and what's bugging me in it.
... if I hear one more sound bite from those pseudo-commie pinko liberal feminazi harpies on The View. (Whoopi, no, you don't have to be worried about "becoming a slave again" because you never were one. Ever hear tell of the Thirteenth Amendment, hunnychile? Don't develop a case of the fantods, picturing yourself "on a plantation." You don't have to "start running" because a McCain administration would appoint Constitutionalists to the United States Supreme Court. I think you're doing all right by any standard, Whoopi, thanks to our freedoms and the capitalistic society we still enjoy in this great nation. You, like B.O., have gotten lots richer in the last eight years. But don't worry ... in any case if the worst should happen, Barbara Walters says "us white folk, we'll take care of you." Wow. I call that progress.)
Watch it for yourself here ... it gets good at about 4:44.
... if I catch one more glimpse of Barack Saddam Hussein Osama Obama, that America-hating, baby-killing socialist, swagger around on a stage ... and hear him trying to decide which accent to use. (How deep is your love today, Barky?)
... if I hear B. Hussein Obama lie one more time about being a byproduct of Selma. (He was nearly four years old at the time of the Selma marches.)
Watch it for yourself here ... it's all good.
... if I hear Joe Biden's sad gaffe "Stand up, Chuck!" replayed once more. (Forget Mr. Biden's embarrassment ... what about poor Chuck Graham having to relive the revolting moment ad nauseam?)
... if I hear one more reference to the values of hockey moms ... or for that matter, to hockey moms, period. (Watch my lips! I. Do. Not. Care.)
... if I have to listen to John McCain's bloodless, passionless recital of middle-of-the-road talking points through two more presidential debates. (There's no substitute for a fire in the belly. You could learn that from your running mate, Mr. McCain.)
In short, I may scream ...
... if I watch one more minute of televised "election coverage."
But Also I Just Might Scream ...
... if I hear one more syllable of that leeringly jovial jingle, Viva Viagra.
... if I hear that Campbell's Soup "possibilities" commercial again.
... if the Cubs blow this, their chance to win the National League Pennant.
... if I can't get TG to repair the potty that is making a funny noise.
... if I don't get my listing-to-starboard computer fixed, soon.
Just your average election year and what's bugging me in it.
# # # #
I just read that over and some of it sounds really mean, snide, and angry.
So I take absolutely none of it back.
In fact, I hereby double it all.
However.
I WILL BECOME HAPPIER AND HAPPIER ...
... when I think of my wonderful children and grandchildren.
... when I read Ann Coulter's new article each Wednesday night.
... when I remind myself (as I often do) that "The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it; ignorance may deride it; but in the end, there it is." ~Winston Churchill
... when I see one of those Geico caveman commercials.
... when I go to sleep in a warm, comfortable bed each night, beside my darling.
... when I consider how blessed I am to have been born in America, and to have lived my whole life here.
... when I think of how fortunate I have been in my employment situation.
... when I look at the pretty ceiling fan TG installed for me earlier this week, and the new tires he bought for my car.
... when I remember the manifold promises of God.
... when I take that first sip of strong, hot, fresh morning coffee.
... when I say to Javier "Give Mama a kiss," and he does.
... when I remember our church friends, and our fine pastor and his sweet family.
... when I think about Pirates 4. YAY! Pirates FOUR!
... when I walk down my street and am thankful for my kind and considerate neighbors.
... when I think of our military and their sacrifices on the behalf of all Americans.
Life's good ... guess we'll just have to keep taking the occasional bad that goes along with it. And as to the election ... no matter who wins or loses on November 4, at least it will be over!
I hope.
Reader Comments (18)
Awesome post! I agree with it all too...of course. Ann Coulter is the only one whose words give me any comfort in this incredible mess.
You go girl!!!
I absolutely love how you can express EXACTLY what I am thinking!!! As a matter of fact, you say it BETTER than I am thinking it.... does that make sense.
Love ya',
Mary Margaret
@ Audrey ... somehow I knew you'd see it my way!
@ MM ... that makes perfect sense! Let's hope that common sense reigns on election day.
Jennifer, something is wrong with this post, don't know whether it is on your end or mine, but it's white on white and can't be read. The only visible words are Barney Frank. Any clues?
Hi Tracie ... nope ... that's a mystery to me! It looks normal on my end and nobody else has said anything! Plus I was out of town today and viewed it on another computer and there was no problem there either. Are you having trouble seeing any other web sites? If not, try clicking and dragging to "shade" my post so you can have the full advantage of my wit and wisdom, LOLOLOLOLOL! Wish I could help beyond that.
Jenny,
This is getting very scary. When I read this I thought I was inside my own head !!! Girl we are clones..you are just prettier. I wish I had taken the time to write on this subject ...I think I would have been taken to court for copyright infringement !!! Now if we can get you a talk show ! Wouldn't you start a riot????
Your site wasn't showing up properly for me this weekend either. The dark blue wasn't showing up behind the text so it was impossible to read unless you shaded it (click/drag) and instead of your comments showing up underneath the post when you clicked to view them, they were showing up on a different page, with white-on-white again.
Looks okay today though...
@ Dixie ... LOLOLOLOL! ME prettier than YOU? No way, Jose. But thanks for the compliment. And YES ... I am more than UP for starting a talk show! Forget about giving equal time to both sides ... let's give ALL the time to the RIGHT side! We'll be great. And you should write about it too!
@ Angi ... thanks for telling me ... I'll report it to Squarespace. I hate it when weird stuff like that happens and I don't know about it. I hope it's not going to happen again but please tell me if it does!
29 days to the election. 29 days to the election. 29 days until it's over for four years. Two years, really since they start so early. Even so, 29 days. I just keep telling myself that, as I stock up on liquor and cigarettes so I have bartering power when the economy completely collapses.
Also, I remember reading someone's comment somewhere that Johnny Depp is going to be Tonto and someone else is going to be the Lone Ranger in a movie? Was that you? Was it a joke? I can't remember where I read it .
Erin ... that chant about 29 days works for me ... and the best part is, it gets smaller every day! I don't drink or smoke, so maybe I can barter my Johnny Depp DVD's if the going gets rough. Everybody needs those. I might not be able to part with them, though ...
Speaking of which ... it's no joke! George Clooney is going to play the Lone Ranger and Johnny will be his Tonto! Pirates 4 is in development too! YAY ....
I can't read any text. It's all showing up as white...I can tell there's something there but can't see it. Wonder why?
Hey, Jenny - count me in the group who can't seem to view your site. The text is white on white, and half way through this blog post the text just ends and the rest of your site is blank. It's been like this for a couple days. Very strange.
It's haaaaapppenninnngg agggaaaaiinnn...*cue Twilight Zone music*
AARRRRGGGHHH! This is beyond exasperating, y'all! I've told Squarespace about the problem but I don't know what else to do! I'll go and bug them about it again. This is a first. Hang tight and I'll see if they can get it resolved. My last post really MUST be read by all five of you, LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Jennifer, I did see this post. Wow.
LOL! Hey, Sid. Good to see you, my friend.
HI JENNY! I found you over at SKOS, and although I haven't had time to read every single one of your posts like the stalker/lurker I tend to be, I'll get there. Lovin it! So much so, do I feel the same way (I had to keep from laughing too hard about the Barney Frank thing, someone might think I'm insane, sitting in my office laughing.... but I can get away with stifled giggles). Hope and change, just for the sake of change, you betcha. And I'm really glad I wasn't the only one who noticed Barry's accent changed depending on who he was attempting to enthrall. So, you're totally going in my Google reader, and I can't wait to see some more! I love meeting others like me with that "birth defect" of having a soapbox attached to the feet (platformis pedis).
Hi Angie and welcome aboard! I noticed you on SKOS too and admired your crayons. Glad to have provided you a chuckle in these wild days where you don't always know whether it would be more appropriate to laugh or to cry! Platformis Pedis, LOLOLOLOL! Love it. Thanks so much for stopping by and for adding IHATH to your reader!