Waving goodbye

Gull watching

In late September, a bunch of us went to the beach together for four days.

We'd solidified our plans (read: paid our money) weeks before anyone knew of my mom's illness. Naturally there was a fair amount of angst over whether we'd be able to keep our reservation.

To quote our Erica, who is an underwriter: Always buy trip insurance.

Chad sunbathes while Erica helps Dagny sandbathe

But Mom was more than holding her own in late September, unlike now, when she is down to her last few days with us.

As I write, she is sleeping. She will wake soon and ask for water, and I'll give it to her via a little sponge on a stick, soaked in her travel mug of ice water.

Baby Ember in an impromptu beach shoot

She will want the sponge re-dipped two or three times, say Delicious, and go back to sleep.

Speaking of water, for our beach getaway we rented a large house in Holden Beach (Supply), North Carolina. Just south of Wilmington.

Ranger cookies. This jar is much bigger than it looks.

The house was across the street from those that back up directly on the beach. We could set out with chairs and umbrellas and towels and, after walking past a few houses to reach the access path, be on beach sand within three minutes.

The back of our house faced a marsh and, in the near distance, the Intracoastal Waterway where pleasure boats glided.

Deer love marshy vegetation

There were cranes and herons and other birds living in the marsh, and several times we saw deer.

Brittany and Ember joined us, as Andrew was still in Alabama completing Officer Training School.

Newly commissioned Second Lieutenant Andrew Weber, USAF

(He was commissioned on Thursday and graduated today, and he's home now with his girls.)

Chad and Erica came along, while Audrey, due to work commitments, had to join the party a day late.

Cherica ... out for a sunset stroll

Stephanie, Joel, and the children came for one night and most of the two days on either side of it.

I had done a lot of cooking beforehand, not wanting to waste beach time in the kitchen and definitely not wanting to go out to eat.

Millinery is required at the beach

I'd made a recipe of ranger cookies, which makes about 140 good-sized treats. I filled a huge jar with them and had enough in reserve to re-fill the jar twice.

We went to the store in Supply -- for supplies, hahaha -- and got stuff like eggs and milk and butter and fresh fruits and vegetables and ice cream and I don't know what all, but it was a lot.

Dagny was always ready for the next wave

Everything we needed was at our fingertips. On the first night in the beach house, we had shepherd's pie with cornbread.

It was pretty great.

Stephanoel enjoy some down time

The next night we had marinated chicken done on the grill with Andouille sausage and colorful peppers, and big baked potatoes and a huge salad complete with croutons.

Night three was baked spaghetti but I'm probably boring you so I'll stop with the menus.

Shell game

The weather was perfect and the ocean just as marvelous and mysterious and metaphorical as always.

I can sit and watch the waves for hours. I never get enough of that sight and that sound.

The only thing that drives me indoors is the sun; I can't take too much of that. So I like to go down to the shore and sit in the early morning, and walk on the beach in the evening and even at night.

Hanging out

We all did all of those things. The children were consumed with joy. 

Children on the beach is just special. Their shrieks! Every time a little wave rolled up on their feet. The wild splashing and cavorting and the endless search for shells.

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt

Of course my thoughts were with Mom back in Greenville, and no sooner had we reached home than I re-packed my suitcase and returned to her bedside.

She'd had a difficult stretch in my absence but there would be some good days left.

Brittany and Ember were missing Daddy

Those days are behind us now and we are in the thick of it.

Mom says she has peace. 

When she can, she still talks and laughs with my sister and me, and the occasional friend, and whichever grandchild has dropped by to see Grandma one more time.

Allissa, Andrew, Melanie: the Tar Heel Tootsies

This evening, two of my nieces came by to sing to their grandma. Also there was a hospice representative, and she asked Mom if there was anything she could get for her.

Barbecue ribs would be nice, she said, with cole slaw and a big glass of sweet tea.

Ember: quintessential beach babe

We all laughed and then Mom regaled us with a ditty:

Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy

Makes your eyes light up and your tummy say howdy.

Ever the card. The life of the party.

Mackerel sky for the win

Just as it was when we put together our beach trip, all of our plans are in place. This time there's no danger of them changing.

When the time comes, we think we know what we'll feel and think and say, and how we will weep and rejoice and remember.

But all we really know is that the wave will reach the shore and, having come, it will go, taking our loved one with it.

Good thing we know The One Who walks on water.

And that is all for now.

=0=0=0=

Happy Weekend

Comments

[Mari]

Oh Jenny - such a beautiful post. From the sparkling eyes of little Ember, to the humour of your sweet mom, the joy of life is present here. I enjoyed every photo of your beautiful family... (Dagny is no longer looking like a child!) Congratulations to Andrew!
Your final phrases brought tears to my eyes and I read them to Bob. Very deep, very wise and so comforting to know the one who walks on water.

[Jennifer]

@Mari ... thank you my dear friend, for always caring. Ember's eyes are the eighth wonder of the world! But any child's joy-filled smile is a miracle of God. We are so proud of our Andrew. He was heartbroken that no one could be there to witness his fleeting moments of glory as he was commissioned, hahahaha .Covid, don't you know. Bleh!!! And you're right about Dagny! I told Audrey, she looks like a ten-year-old in that one picture. Love you xoxo

[Karen W.]

Jenny, holding your family in my thoughts and prayers. Karen

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

[Jennifer]

@Karen ... thank you and God bless you. xoxo

[Jane]

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

[Jeanette]

Such beautiful pictures of your beautiful family! I hold you all in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time!

[Jennifer]

@Jane ... Thank you my friend. xoxo

@Jeanette ... That means so much. Thank you. xoxo

[Cheri]

First of all, what precious children:) Second, you have such a beautiful way of writing. Your mother sounds like a jewel and I continue to wish a peaceful passing for her and peace for the journey for you and your family. I have to say I'm envious of your time at the beach. I am ready to go back! We go to FL. Like you, I so love to listen to the waves; love to sit on the beach in the cooler parts of the day and just think and dream. I can think of anything more soothing and calming. I need that right now. I have been surrounded since August of the loss of 9 or 10 (I've lost count at the moment) family, friends, and church members. I am so ready to close the door on 2020, and praying that 2021 will bring much more peace and joy for all of us. God's heart must be so sad at what is going on in our world:(

[Christiana]

Glad you had a nice time away with your family. Little did I know that day I met you that would be the last time I would get to see your mom on this side of eternity. Thankful for her friendship and encouragement throughout the years and now through her I got to meet you! I have enjoyed your blog thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures!

[Barb]

Your mother taught you how to live, and now she teaches how to leave this life with dignity, grace, and humor. The beach photos will bring back good memories for your family. Congratulations to Andrew! I'm thinking of you day by day, Jenny.

[Jennifer]

@Cheri ... Girl you are so right that this year has been trial after trial. I am so sorry to hear of all of the loss you've endured. Mom is safe with Jesus as I see your comment and write this. We are grieving but also rejoicing. She is in heaven for all eternity. Thank God for His great sacrifice for us. Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comment. xoxo

@Christiana ... It was such a joy to meet you and talk to you that day. I love your mom so much and I know that she loved mine. Y'all were so dear to her. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope to see you soon. xoxo

@Barb ... My friend, you are so right. I learned so much from her and yes, she did take her leave today with grace and dignity. The last thing she said to me yesterday when I left to go home for a few hours was "I'll miss you" and that my sister and I were the best daughters in the world for caring for her the way we did. She told me to thank Greg for letting me come and be here with her for so many of the past 82 days since her diagnosis. She is gone into eternity but will never be forgotten by anyone who knew her. Thank you for your kind thoughts. Love you xoxo