Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever

What follows is my personal birthday greeting to our daughter's husband.

Feel free to read it.

Dear Joel,

I'm not going to call you today, on your thirty-fourth birthday, because you'll get a hundred calls and I know you're busy and I don't want to add to your burden.

We have a gift for you, but I didn't mail it. We'll give it to you when we see you next week at Andrew's graduation.

But I do want to tell you something on your birthday: I appreciate and love you more than you'll ever know.

Now that you have children, you’re acutely aware of how much your heart aches for them to always do right and be happy. You want them to do right because you know that happiness is the fruit of obedience. You want them to be happy simply because you love them, and you know from experience that to be happy is much better than to be sad. Sadness will be thrust upon them anyway; happiness is something they'll have to choose for themselves.

Although we have not always seen eye-to-eye on every subject, there has never been a question in my mind that you are the right man for our beloved daughter. Sharing her life with you makes her happy. Stephanie loves you more than life itself; this I know. There was never anyone else for her but you, nor could there have been, and I do believe you would say the same about her. Since the day of your marriage in 2001 we have been overjoyed to name you as our son-in-law.

The Bible has a great deal to say about the good man, the just man, the upright man. And whenever I hear or read those verses, without fail and without exception I think of you and I think of my husband. You are the kind of man the Lord had in mind when He inspired the writers to put down those words in Scripture, and so is your father-in-law. There is more to life than making a lot of money and being a success in society. After all, what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

And trust me when I say, although my husband lets me do most of the talking (he knows I will anyway and I don't think he has either the strength or the inclination to fight it), he would echo my every sentiment with regard to you, right down to the last jot and final tittle.

We love you and we thank God for you every day of the world. That fact is inscribed on our hearts more indelibly than if it were engraved in stone. It cannot and will not change, no matter what. It is a truth of the universe, incontrovertible. Where we once had four children, we now have five.

Lest you ever doubt, please know that we truly see and notice your devotion to the work God has given you to do. We see you grieve for members of your flock when hard trials come, and we see your authentic joy for them in the good times. We have watched you brood and pray and study and work for the benefit of both the pastorate and your beautiful family.

The integrity and the boldness and the thoughtfulness and the decency and the sincerity with which you do every thing, both large and small, that is within your responsibility and area of expertise, has not escaped our notice.

You are a humble man but you're not a pushover. You are an intelligent man but you're never overbearing or dogmatic. You are an articulate man but you’re never glib. You are a tenderhearted man but you're not given to smarm or meaningless sentiment. You are a hard-working manly man but you're never crude or crass. You are an athlete who is always courteous and a gentleman. You are a patriotic citizen who honors the concepts of duty and personal accountability.

You are a genuine Christian who, clear-eyed and open-handed, goes daily about the business of ministering to a lost and floundering world. The burden is often heavy but you bear it with humility and aplomb. In every possible aspect of the overused (and sometimes ill-used) expression, you are a class act.

You're also very handsome. I like it that you're so handsome. I have a terrible weakness for handsome men. So sue me.

It is no secret that you sprang from a Christian home of quality and values, and it is there that you were carefully taught these things. Your parents are as dear to us as any other two people on earth. How I wish we could see them more. I never think of Dave and/or Debbie with anything but the utmost love, respect, and gratitude.

Your parents reared a fine son and we have benefitted greatly from their labor of love. Our daughter has benefitted, as have our grandchildren, and future generations will too. That's what it's all about. There is nothing else, really, that matters except passing on the blessed hope to our children and their children and their children, until the Lord's return.

But your stellar family notwithstanding, it is choices you have willingly made that resulted in the man you are today. From a young age, children decide which way they will go. The Bible tells us that even a child is known by his doings. It is sometimes appalling to see our children turn in a way we know will not bring about a good result for them. Your parents have never had to witness this in your life and I know they are humble and grateful before God in that knowledge.

Don't get the idea that I think you're a model of sinless perfection. You know I'm much too practical and plain-spoken to believe or say that. You know because you've likely heard me rant, I have no use whatsoever for the self-righteous "born saved" variety of Christian. That's bogus and I'll call it that even if it puts a crimp in the tail of every independent fundamental Baptist in Christendom.

The self-serving "I am Baptist royalty with all the rights and privileges thereto appertaining" attitude hurts people and undermines the cause of Christ. Just as deadly is the "I am the preacher's kid and therefore I get a pass but all you other schmucks are required to toe the line" way of thinking and behaving. You are one preacher's kid I've known (and there are others; a precious few) who I do not believe has ever thought of himself in that way. You never fell into that trap -- as far as I can tell -- and I am so glad. So very glad. I thank you for it.

Because we know that we're not to call ourselves good or think of ourselves as good. In my flesh dwells no good thing! But in my soul and yours there dwells the Holy Spirit because we invited Him in, and He will never leave us. And ever since I first met you in -- was it 1996 or '7? -- whatever year it was, I have seen and known you to be what I lovingly and gratefully refer to as "the real deal."

It doesn't get any better than that on this side of eternity.

I know you're human; I know you make mistakes. That's not the point; God's forgiveness is always available. It's your intent, your dedication, your commitment to service that I see and I celebrate. So many people give up before the battle even begins, unwilling to fight for anything besides their own selfish desires. Despite your (few) faults you're a brave warrior for right, and I rejoice in that today and every day.

While many young men were partying down throughout their college years, chasing loose girls, drunken, becoming indecent and debauched, you were living cleanly and studying the Word of God in Bible college. You worked so hard that you secured both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree in four years, and were salutatorian of your class into the bargain.

I'm painfully aware that the world doesn't value the route you took and that many would openly despise and belittle you for it. It is because the world does not value it, that I value it all the more. I appreciate your purity on the day you married our pure daughter.

So as you turn thirty-four I publicly wish you the happiest of birthdays and I remind you once again that you are a cherished and much-loved member of the Weber family. You're stuck with us! Sorry. If it will make you feel any better, go ahead and tell a mother-in-law joke. Live a little; make it two. I can handle it. I think.

And I'm posting this on my blog on your birthday because I am so very grateful for your life and testimony, and I want others to know it. I want anyone who reads my letter to you, to know that in the midst of this calumny-pocked, evil-seeking, lust-driven, God-hating, leeringly lascivious secular humanistic day in which we live, when cursing is as common as prayer used to be -- even, to an alarming degree, among people who call themselves "good" and who answer to the name "Christian" -- not every young, intelligent, handsome, bright, sharp, talented, educated man is pursuing the almighty dollar with one hand and feeding his sinful flesh with the other.

Some people still cling to the old rugged cross, so despised by the world, and spend their days pointing others to it. They do it because they’ve wholeheartedly, willingly, bought into what truly matters. They’re cued up and ready to roll tape.

With neither self-pity nor apology, they sacrifice for a cause greater than themselves. They shine light into darkness; they fling precious life-affirming truth daily into the mocking face of the great lie, the culture of death. They do it with grace and goodness, with humility and hope, with poise and presence, without braggadocio, without ulterior motives, and with very little praise or recognition.

They simply do right because they know that right is its own reward.

You are one of these and I see it. I see it and I am grateful. I see it and I rejoice. Thank you. I love you.

Happy Birthday!

Mrs. Weber

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But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

~Proverbs 4:18~

~*~

Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end.

~Richard Bach~

Comments

[Sue the Hobbit]

Amen, sister Pirate!

[Mari]

What a nice tribute to Joel! Many men would be thrilled to hear such words from their MIL, but not many can say these things about their daughters husbands. (I'm blessed in that way with my SIL too)
Anyway - happy birthday to Joel!

[glenda]

Beautiful!! Happy Birthday to Joel....................G.

[irene]

Happy Birthday to your son in law.

[Donna M.]

Such lovely words for a lovely man! Your daughter married well. Very well, indeed. Happy Birthday to the young fellow!

[Donna (Texas)]

He calls you Mrs. Weber?? You tell him I said to start calling you, Momma!!Hahaaaa....
Happy Birthday to this Good Looking, fun loving and devoted young man! Love all the photos Jenny....he's a Keeper!
hughugs

[Debbie]

He sounds like a fine man, father, husband, son-in-law, son. I know you are so proud. You should be, not everyone is so lucky.