The Wounds Of A Friend

Tonight I talked for the better part of four hours! I listened some too. And slurped ice cold Diet Pepsi garnished with big tangy lemon wedges, and ate overstuffed potato skins (lots of real bacon and melted cheddar on those) and a salad of mixed greens, mandarin oranges, dried cranberries, candied pecans, feta cheese, and chicken tender chunks dressed with balsamic vinaigrette. I also ate a soft warm yeast roll that resembled the ones Johnny Depp made to dance on the ends of forks a la Charlie Chaplin in Benny and Joon. Only this roll danced right on down into my tummy.

Your secrets are safer with her than a marsupial baby deep in the womby pouch of its mother.

It was a delightful evening spent at a local restaurant in the company of a dear friend of nearly four decades with whom I get the opportunity to visit no more than once a year. (An amazing woman who owns a thriving company, she lives in Atlanta and was in Columbia on business.)

Our waiter was a truly fantastic young man who understands that when old friends get a chance to enjoy a meal together, they want to be pampered while simultaneously being left alone to gab. He got the hang of this right off, anticipating our wants and treating us like royalty without interrupting the ceaseless flow of chatter and laughter. Before we left he asked us a little bit about ourselves and our history, and told us some of his own plans for the future. I wish you could have seen his smile! It was beautiful.

When you've been friends with someone since you were barely into your teens and now you're both past fifty, you know one another's stories and are able to communicate in shorthand. Lots of conversational threads get started but not necessarily finished because one thing just sort of segues into the next before you know or care. When either of you mentions a third party, no last names are necessary. It's awesome.

Your dear friend can be trusted with details you might not share even with a close family member. Sometimes you'll see a tear well up in her eyes and you know what it's about and she knows you know. Your secrets are safer with her than a marsupial baby deep in the womby pouch of its mother. Hers are safe with you too. There's an invisible force field of mutual supportiveness.

Have you ever noticed that we are apt to employ the word "friend" when another word -- such as "colleague" or maybe a more colorful term landing you on the relationship-o-meter somewhere between "acquaintance" and "enemy" -- would be more appropriate? It's analogous to claiming we "love" those Deppian yeast rolls when it would be more accurate to say we like them a lot (or even an awful lot).

In my day I have called a few people friend who I later found out really were something else. The way you know the difference is, you can tell your friend the truth about yourself (or they can figure it out on their own) and they can tell you the truth right back if you can't get it all by your onesie, and neither of you bats an eyelash. You don't expect perfection to begin with, and in addition you've learned that it is your individuality (and the respect each offers to the other) that has helped your friendship endure.

At any rate there's more to friendship than sharing an annual salad with a few personal anecdotes on the side. Friendship is unswerving belief in a person you have made a conscious decision to love and support to the very end.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. ~ Proverbs 27:6

Comments

[Adam J. Whitlatch]

Past fifty?! **takes another look at your picture** No way!

[Jennifer]

Adam steps up to the plate and hits a decisive homerun! LOL! Yes, it's true ... I turned 51 a few days ago ... and that picture is less than a year old! You shoulda seen me in my prime ... *mourns* ... thanks as ever for reading, my friend!

[Adam J. Whitlatch]

There are so many things I could say, but they would all probably incur the wrath of both your husband and MY WIFE! LoL

But rest assured they are all flattering. :)

[Jennifer]

Ah, thank you. Your check is in the mail!