Not quite that? Not much less.
Most like an arch -- an entrance which upholds
and shores the stone-crush up the air like lace.
Mass made idea, and idea held in place.
A lock in time. Inside half-heaven unfolds.
Most like an arch -- two weaknesses that lean
into a strength. Two fallings become firm.
Two joined abeyances become a term
naming the fact that teaches fact to mean.
Not quite that? Not much less. World as it is,
what's strong and separate falters. All I do
at piling stone on stone apart from you
is roofless around nothing. Till we kiss
I am no more than upright and unset.
It is by falling in and in we make
the all-bearing point, for one another's sake,
in faultless failing, raised by our own weight.
~*~
Most Like an Arch This Marriage by John Anthony Ciardi (1916-1986)
June 16, 1979
~*~*~*~
This post is not meant as a braggadocious gush-fest to my personal mythical prowess in the art of achieving and maintaining a state of ever-blissful matrimony, ideal in every possible particular.
TG and I have been married thirty-three years. There have been good times and bad.
I wish I could say all I ever think about are the good times, that I've never cried a tear since the day we met, that there have been no misunderstandings and no setbacks.
But that wouldn't be true. What would be true is that no matter what, we are committed to one another.
What's equally true is that I am grateful for certain wise choices I as a young woman, by the grace of God, was able to make.
I am grateful that my husband chose me, made me his wife, and honored me with the great privilege of being the mother of his children.
We have disappointed one another on occasion but he is good to me and I love him.
What this post is meant to do is to praise, promote, and defend the institution of traditional marriage: the lawful union of one man and one woman before God and all of society, for life.
I understand that it isn't always so simple. People sometimes don't do what they promised. Divorce certainly happens, much to our shame, sorrow, and what should be our embarrassment and chagrin.
In fact it happens with alarming frequency and shows no sign of becoming less prevalent.
But I resist with all my being -- and I pledge to fight with all of my strength as long as I live -- this popular notion that it's immaterial whether one marries or whom one marries or if one remains married as per the vows they willingly took before God and man.
Marry, don't marry, act like you're married even though you're not married, denigrate marriage, change the definition of marriage, procreate outside of marriage, marry someone the same gender as you, marry your pet hamster who's in a relationship with the neighbor's gerbil, marry five people at once or separately, blah blah blah.
Every bit of that nonsense nauseates me. What doesn't nauseate me, bores me.
The home -- as established by an appropriately solemnized marriage between one man and one woman -- is a concept instituted by God and is therefore sacrosanct.
Thus will it ever be. No one but God has the power to change it, and He's not going to.
I celebrate my marriage and every other sincere God-anointed traditional marriage.
That is all.
I wish you love and a happy weekend!
Reader Comments (6)
Amen, my dear, beautiful friend!!!.............G.
Congratulations.
Thanks for the honesty, because as all honest married couples would admit, it's not perfect. As you say there are times we let each other down for whatever reason, not usually on purpose.
Hubby and I will be married 40 years in September and no it has not been perfect every minute of every day. There have been disagreements and tears. But I can truly say those times were but a small drop in the big ocean of good times. But we have always loved each other and that love grows with each year.
Happy Anniversary! We are 2 years behind you and TG and will celebrate our 31st in August. As you said - it's not always perfect. That's why you can not go into marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work, you will separate. The time will come, when you are very angry with him - and he with you. However - when committed, those times don't last and through it all, even when mad - we love each other!
You were a gorgeous bride. (And TG wasn't half bad either.) I see a lot of your kids in each of you. Lucky kids - you passed down some good genes. And seriously, those kids are even more lucky for the example of marriage you have put before them.
You chose well! I wish you a wonderful and happy anniversary! May you have many more years together with your best friend!
Yes yes yes yes. And your girls are the spittin' image of you.
banging head on desk...i'm LATE again! Crystal's in New York and I've been doing double duty here at work, keeping kids, checking on their pets and giving them meds...
She'll be back TOMORROW, thank God....
Happy Anniversary You Two! Gorgeous shots...
It'll be 40yrs for Larry and I this September...
hughugs