Howdy, neigh ... whoa.
OK so I wish I had kept the preternaturally cheery green-and-white postcard that came in the mail a few weeks ago.
But I didn't.
Before I could stop alternately guffawing and gagging, I had torn said sick-making object in two and deposited it into the trash.
And then -- too late! -- I thought, "UH-oh."
See, I tear all junk mail into two or three pieces and throw it into the trash. I hardly do more than glance at it.
It does nobody any good to send me catalogs and brochures and advertisements and flyers and circulars and political messages and credit card applications.
And yet they keep doing it.
Listen up, folks: I am not remotely interested.
I have fairly narrow areas of interest and none of that stuff falls into any of them.
One of the few exceptions is when I get the charming occasional piece of mail announcing that Lancome is in gift at either Belk or Dillard's.
I read those carefully and plot my strategy.
Y'all know how I love me a lagniappe. Especially one of the cosmetic variety.
Be that as it may, I repeat: I wish I'd thought before reflexively mutilating, then tossing, my invitation to join Nextdoor.
On account of, it was powerful blogging fodder. A snarky post kernel offered like a literary lagniappe!
First of all do not get me started on how ridiculous it is to render the term "next door" as a compound word. That freaks me out almost as much as "login."
But oh my soul, if anything strikes terror in my heart it is the very thought of a budding, burgeoning neighborhood social network.
It is unthinkable and yet there is the Web site -- and there was the treacly postcard -- to prove its existence.
A virtual fence over which neighbors chat, because clearly we have all lost interest in chatting face-to-face.
(No judgment here because I am no exception, as a recent post clearly demonstrated.)
But Nextdoor? Really, folks, is that not taking it a bit far? Can I get an amen up in here?
I mean, isn't everyone and their pet python already "on" Fakebook Facebook, proclaiming to all and sundry each time the miracle of cell division occurs in their body?
(My daughters know a young woman who "updated" her "status" throughout labor and delivery of her fourth child. Did you want to know how many centimeters she'd dilated, or which drugs the medicos had pumped into her? It was all there.)
Ghastly. Gross, gauche, gruesome and I repeat, ghastly.
Back to Nextdoor. I double-dog dare you to click on the video to learn more. But I warn you: the opening salvo is "Have you ever needed to borrow a ladder?"
Would anything induce you to employ this method for determining "when local road repairs will wrap up"?
And can you even imagine using a neighborhood social network to locate a babysitter?
Uhm, to all questions, my personal answer is a firm and unequivocal NOT A CHANCE.
I totally rest my case. Also I shudder. Repeatedly.
Made you look at my grandson, though! It was like hiding broccoli in a glass of milk.
Happy Wednesday!
Reader Comments (14)
"Sneaky Pete"you are Gir, but to tell you the truth, I could hardly get deep into the gist of the post for ogling cuteness himself.......Good Try!!..........G
I've never heard of Nextdoor. I am on Facebook and enjoy keeping in touch with old and new friends, but don't need to hear every bit of news they feel they need to share!
As for this post - that Andrew is so stinking cute, and every time I see him I think how well he fits into your family. I look at that cute little face and try to figure out - is it the eyes, the nose... I don't know but he sure looks like your kids. I'm sure you're relieved to hear this - bet you've been worried about my thoughts on the subject!
It's no chore looking at your grandson, ha. He's a real keeper.
Debbie
I'm not interested in neighborhood either, I lurk on Facebook, if I don't hear from my son for a day or two, I check out to see what he's doing. I'm happy to report he's grown some, and is not posting personal particulars on the site. I'm so pleased. I also check potential employees, when I need to hire someone.
Facebook users tend to hang everything out to dry on Facebook, and it really gives me a better idea of the personality of a potential employee. But beyond that... Love your grandson, forget the broccoli and milk he's always a pleasure to look at.
Sneaky Pirate.
That boy has Eyes!
And don't knock facebook.
@G ... hey gir, a gir does what she has to in order to promote her prides n' joys. But seriously, ain't he somethin'?
@Mari ... Facebook, yech! I loathe it! But I agree with you that my grandson is a true work of family art. I somehow feel I had a part in his adorableness. It slays me.
@Debbie ... we have an accord! Thanks, luv.
@irene ... you may have found the only good use for FB but I still deny that its existence is justifiable. It is depressingly awful.
@Hobbit ... will too if I want. It's my blog and I hate Facebook! Always will! Bleh! Yes he's got quite the snapping long-lashed sweet eyes, don't he? Perfection in male children.
Maybe it's just me, but the whole concept of "Nextdoor" is a tad creepy.
And your grandson is adorable! He makes wonderful blog filler, LOL.
@Donna M. ... it's not just you! It's me too! Creepy indeed.
I should probably do that with the scam email I receive. But dang...13 years of abusing scammers would never have come to be, iffen I just hit the *Spam Delete* button ;-)
Cute photos, though ;-)
Hahahahaaa....your post are Always informative and..."picturesque"
He's adorable!
PS- If the countries grid flakes out because the sun flares hit...I think I'll just go knock on the neighbor's door...Hahaaaa
hughugs
Yeah, that is not cool. Our society has an obsession with social networking and yet is seriously lacking in social skills.
Now, I happen to have awesome neighbors who invite me over when they've grilled out and mow my grass! But they send their little boy over to ask me politely if I would like to come. :) That's what I call good neighborship!
I can't get enough of pictures of Andrew! Keep posting them! And I love your new picture. Your angel wings really complement your face. ;) Can't wait for you to come see me!
@Skunky ... no my friend, you definitely found your calling. Give Seymour a kiss from me.
@Donna ... I hope your neighbor has plenty of extras!
@Erica ... You do have excellent neighbors. I can't wait to come see you and them.
you have an adorable grandson, and you were right, I was following him along,hoping to hear more about him! But you did have a good point to make.
Love your So Carolina sky! going back there in Sept to visit our grandson and his parents.
hope to follow you in the future...
To me Andrew looks like a perfect combo of Melanie and Allissa in these pictures. I love your new picture too! *angels*