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Melly Time
Monday, November 14, 2022 at 04:44PM 
Melanie, ready for church on Sunday morning
Remember that line from the movie Cast Away where Tom Hanks's character, Chuck Noland, sets his watch (the one his girlfriend, Kelly, gave him for Christmas), and announces that he's on Kelly Time?
Well, even if you don't, we are on Melly Time.
As in, our granddaughter Melanie is here visiting with us by herself, until Thanksgiving when the rest of her family will join us.
(I haven't forgotten that I owe you more posts about our recent trip, but time is moving quickly and before it gets away from me altogether, I wanted to tell you about this.)
On Saturday TG and I drove up to Fort Mill, South Carolina, on the North Carolina line, and met Stephanie and Melly at the Cracker Barrel.
(Yes, Essie was there! I was able to hug her neck).
We had an early supper and then Melly's stuff was loaded into our vehicle and Stephanie left to drive home by herself and Melanie came with us.
Joel, my son-in-law, let me know recently that Stephanie could probably use a wee break from the constant care of Melanie, who will turn eighteen on the shortest day of this year.
Melly is a joy and we all adore her. The fact remains, though, that she can be a lot of work. Our Steph rarely if ever has a day, or even part of a day, where her eldest child is not serving as her mother's shadow.
Dagny did not get the memo about wearing black and white
So I said well, I would love some time with Melly to myself, which has not happened since the summer of 2017.
(In the intervening years, Melanie developed a few behavioral issues that made her mom reluctant to send her to me.)
But I assured Stephanie that I am not afraid of anything Melanie can or will do, and I said that I would love to have her with me for as long as her parents could part with her.
(As it happens, my first grandchild has behaved like an angel; I think that like most kids, she saves the drama for her mama.)
In fact, she is just about the most agreeable person I have ever hung out with.
She eats (with great enthusiasm) whatever I serve her, goes to bed early and sleeps for twelve hours, and does not talk back.
(That's because she does not talk at all except to say yes and no at the appropriate times. And you have to know what Melanie's yesses and nos sound like, to catch her meaning.)
After a full day yesterday which included going to church twice, today we made a list of all the things we needed to accomplish.
So far we have made the beds, had our breakfast/coffee time, cleaned the kitchen to include sweeping the floor, taken a walk, done some laundry, and tidied up a few rooms that needed it.
These are just a few of the things Susan gave to Melanie
As each thing gets done, we strike it off our list.
One thing was to write this blog post, so write it I am and strike it I will. Melanie gets a big kick out of the striking process.
Yesterday during Sunday morning service, it was noted that all of us girls except Dagny had worn black and white.
(It was not planned; blanc noir is a popular color motif amongst the ladies in our family.)
So after church, TG was pressganged into taking a picture of all of us. For posterity and to mark Melly's fall visit.
On Sunday evening Melly had a surprise. A friend who sits near us with her husband and their own special-needs daughter, Kayla, brought Melanie a gift bag full of crafty things to occupy one such as Melanie.
There was construction paper (to make paper chains to decorate for Thanksgiving), stickers, markers, colored pencils, crayons, glue sticks, small craft kits, and other goodies.
Was that not the most thoughtful thing for my friend Susan to do?
Susan and Melanie
She knows what the caregivers of a disabled adult have to deal with, as she has filled that office for her own child, for thirty years.
Susan and Stephanie have become acquainted and had a few heart-to-heart chats over time, and Susan has been a help to Stephanie.
So now we'll see if I can convince Melanie to engage in some creative play time after our chores are completed.
Wish me luck.
And that is all for now except to say, what are you up to?
=0=0=0=
Happy Monday
Reader Comments (20)
I did not know you have this granddaughter. I think she looks like you. And I also think you are creating such wonderful memories for her that she will treasure.
I love that photo of Melly on your front porch. She really has grown up. It sounds like a successful visit so far. I hope Stephanie is able to rest a bit and recharge. It sounds like Melanie is on her best behavior at your house. Her parents will be happy to hear that. Hugs to you all.
@Ginny ... Yes she is our Melly, our first grandbaby! She was not breathing when she was born, and for a time afterwards. There was no warning. She is not autistic and she has been tested for genetic anomalies, but none were identified. We think she simply suffered mild brain damage from not breathing for a period of time. God gave her to us and we cherish her but sometimes it's hard not being able to talk with her and have her talk back! I have always wanted to know what she is thinking. xoxo
@Barb ... Everything has gone great so far. I make her laugh apparently, for what reason I cannot imagine, haaahaha! And yes I think her parents are grateful that she's behaving. xoxo
Your friend Susan is so sweet! I see she even included some pirate things. You'd think she knows you!
Melly is growing up! I can't believe she's 18. You are right - all kids do seem to save the drama for their mama!
I know you will have fun together, make some memories and give Stephanie a little respite. She'll be refreshed when they are reunited.
@Mari ... That's exactly what I'm hoping for Stephanie. Today Joel took her to lunch at a little cafe and I was just so glad they could go together without worrying about Melly. Yes Susan has the pirate thing down, haahaa! She realizes what pirates Kayla and Melly can be too! Today we were so busy all day that we didn't get into the craft bag ... but tomorrow I have some desk work to do and I told Melanie that she will be expected to do her worst with stickers and paper and markers and glue, hahaha! xoxo
I'm so glad to hear Melanie is there visiting, y'all will enjoy it so much and make precious memories! Can't believe she is nearly 18! She is just lovely. And looks so pretty and so nice all dressed up for church, love those fancy shoes! Love the picture of y'all----ALL OF Y'ALL always look so stylish and so elegant and ladylike! Hope Melly has fun with her stickers and goodies, and hope Stephanie is enjoying some needed relaxing and a little time to herself. Loved reading about your trip on the previous post....love their old house and all the decor and all the fun and historic places y'all went! what a great trip and I can't wait to hear where else you went!!?? So glad you got to go and to meet up with your long time friend.
I"m sure that Stephanie is enjoying a bit of alone time, special needs parenting can zap the energy sometimes.
Does Melanie have a speech to text app?
I love the picture of Melanie on your front porch. She's so gorgeous. It's wonderful that you get to spend time with her and at the same time give Stephanie a well deserved break. It must be so hard to not be able to have Melanie communicate what she is thinking or needing or feeling. Children almost always behave better with Gram instead of Mom. lol I know I did.
Glad to hear you got to see Essie also. So nice of your friend to make a craft bag for Melanie. I'm sure she will enjoy it. Enjoy your week my friend!
Sounds like a wonderful one on one time with sweet Melanie! And nice for Stephanie to get a break too!
@Debbi ... It has sure been a busy fall. I am thrilled to have Melly with me for a somewhat extended visit, not least because it gives Stephanie a breather. If I know my girl, she is getting a lot accomplished at home with the "free" time, but I wish she'd just sit and sip coffee and read a book or watch a movie, haahaa! At least for one day. I should have made that a stipulation of my taking Melly off her hands. Yes we try to present a stylish ladylike appearance every day! I taught my girls that this is not a dress rehearsal; this is IT! Make the most of it, haaaha! YOU know what I mean, Ms. cute-outfits-complete-with-plenty-of-arm-candy, haaahahaha! xoxo
@Jane ... well, she can't speak, so I don't know what a speech-to-text app would do for her, haaaha! She has no speech at all. We communicate with her through asking questions and listening for either yes or no. It sounds worse than it is; it's clear that she understands everything we are saying and she will do just about anything you ask her to do, except that she's very limited in what she can actually do. No doctor or therapist has ever been able to say why, or explain what exactly happened or is happening. It's a mystery but somehow she manages to enjoy her life and we enjoy her enjoying her life. You know how interesting it can get, hahaha! xoxo
@Lori ... YES all of my grandkids do behave better with Mamaw as opposed to Mama! We were on the way to church on Sunday morning when I remarked to TG that I hadn't yet seen any of the drama Stephanie had told me about. And he said, that's because there isn't going to BE any drama. And Melly heard him and she's smart enough to know that she needs to behave herself, haahaa! She's fine. Really easy to be with and for me, very cooperative. I think Stephanie attempts things with her that only she can, and gets the resistance, and I just don't go there. But isn't that a nice picture of Melly on the porch? I never expected it to be so classic. One to keep and maybe put on the dining table next time! And yes it was so good to see our Essie. She was radiant as usual. xoxo
@Jeanette ... You are so right. Especially for Stephanie, to have ten days to herself. She deserves it. Happy week my friend! xoxo
I think I called it the wrong thing, it's an Augmentative and Alternative Communication.
For someone like Janna and Melly, it would be a communication device that speaks for them. This can be an app loaded onto a tablet or phone, that uses either symbols, or words. They basically poke the symbol, the app speaks for them.
Hi Jenny,
I think it is very special how your family loves and works together. Family is attacked now in the media and to see how important it is.. how it is the backbone along with our faith. I love that you are a light shining that no matter how difficult something can be, with faith and family we can do it.
Your friend Susan is a treasure. I know you already know that Jenny the Pirate. ;-) Ha!
Love you,
Carla
The first picture is a wonderful portrait of Melanie. How caring and sweet of you to give your daughter a break. It really is a win-win for you both. And your friend's goody bag was so thoughtful.
If we don't touch base again, I wish you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving together. XO
@Jane ... ahhh now I know what you mean! She had this years ago and I'm not sure why she doesn't have it now. Thanks for reminding me because I'll ask Stephanie and see what the deal is on that. Throughout her childhood they used various things like that, from the app to cards and charts on the fridge, et cetera, but somehow it all went by the wayside. We are all mystified by Melly because she obviously knows what all of us are saying and what it means, but we have no idea what she is thinking. She gets tickled and laughs in all the right places, and we kid her and get her cackling (I call her HER HIGHNESS QUEEN MELLY MEL, or simply HER NIBS, which gets gales of laughter) and yesterday she conveyed sadness when she pointed to a picture on our table of their dog Shiloh, who was killed by the neighbor dog almost two years ago. And she was so thrilled yesterday when Rizzo sat beside her in the recliner. So she's experiencing life and enjoying her life, but it's frustrating to not be able to know what's going on in her mind. We talk to her all the time, about everything, anyway. We just act like she's right there on the same page with us. But I will definitely ask Stephanie if there is a more advanced app than the one she used to use, and see what the deal is on that. Thanks, friend. xoxo
@Thank you my friend, and yes you are right: if family do not stand together with love, in good times and bad, in adversity and in conflict, what good is our faith? The family unit is God's plan from the creation of man, when male and female created He them. But isn't it wonderful that when we love one another, it's really no burden? I'm glad for others too, like my friend Susan, who understand what Stephanie goes through. To be honest, I am gaining a better understanding of what she goes through and although it is heartbreaking, I know that it could be so much worse. God has been and is so good to us. xoxo
@Bijoux ... To God be the glory and I just hope that Stephanie takes advantage of the down time and just lolls around with an extra cup of coffee each morning, hahaha! She's a very driven sort (much more than me) so I've encouraged her to do that. Yes my friend Susan really stepped up on that one. She did not have to do that and it was such a thoughtful gesture. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours too! xoxo
I am so glad you are able to spend time with Melly. We have an autistic grandson (by a remarriage) and have learned to deal with him. He is highly intelligent and aced college (mentally not socially) and has been hired by a huge corp as a computer wiz-writing programs for hospitals. Each person has their own special place in our lives and it sounds like Melly has found her special person in YOU. Blessings and prayers. xo Diana
@Diana ... Melly is not autistic and won't go to college or be hired by any corporations of any size, but she is special in her own way. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. xoxo
A beautiful young lady, Indeed!
My sister was born with cerebral palsy. Heartbreaking but... you just adjust. She's just turned 72 and going strong!
Happy Thanksgiving friend!
hughugs
Donna
@Donna ... Wow that is a lot to take in. TG has said a few times that he thinks Melly suffers from a mild form of CP, but she's never been diagnosed with it, and she's never had a seizure of any kind. It's a mystery and very heartbreaking but you're right: you adjust! There's nothing else to be done except to love them, and of course we do. Happy Thanksgiving to you and Larry and all the family! xoxo
I know this visit has been a delight. What a wonderful experience. Friends like that are a treasure.
@Gayla ... Absolutely it was and they are! xoxo