Meet Mister ONEderful

Come for the sparkling blue eyes and stay for the adorable two-toothed smile

Oh what a time we had over the weekend.

Rhett had his second of two birthday parties at our house on Saturday.

It was an all-day event.

I remember taking this newborn picture

His first party took place the night before, at his other grandparents' house. He was celebrated in grand style there, with a meal and presents and his own little cake.

Then a sleep, then his actual birthday: second verse, same as the first.

It was a hot, sunny day, perfect for swimming but not for being outside for much else.

We were prepared to party

I'd done most of my part of the cooking in advance.

Starting after supper on Friday, I made seven-layer salad, pineapple baked beans (just like the apple pie baked beans served for our Fourth of July party, but with pineapple tidbits), deviled eggs, and Oopsie Bread for those who wanted a low-carb burger bun option.

Ice-cold watermelon was on the menu

Everyone began arriving around noon. Our Stephanie could not come in person as she had other relatives visiting, although she did attend via FaceTime twice during the day.

We are still missing Andrew and Brittany and Ember in Oklahoma, although their time there is swiftly coming to a close. They've bought a house in East Tennessee and Brittany will be there for a few weeks in late August, setting up housekeeping.

I took the nine-month photo and his other grandmother took the ten-month

She and Ember will return to Oklahoma to be with Andrew then, but by Christmas they should all be back in our time zone and close enough for us to visit whenever we want.

Of course, thoughtful as ever, they had sent a gift for Rhett.

But first, before gifts, we had a feast.

Obligatory at southern repasts: deviled eggs

Erica had covered all of her bases and then some, when it came to decorating for her baby's first birthday.

She'd put together an adorable banner featuring a picture from each month of his life, plus a newborn shot.

There were balloons and cupcakes, a festive backdrop, and props of giant blocks spelling O-N-E.

At Chad's parents' house, during Rhett's first party. Photo courtesy Erica Porter.

Our meal consisted of burgers and brats done on the grill by TG and Chad, plus the aforementioned seven-layer salad and pineapple barbecue beans and deviled eggs. On the day, I made a small baked macaroni and cheese, and cut up watermelon into triangles.

Seven-layer salad is a favorite of TG's. That's bacon on top.

Erica brought more vegetables for a colorful tray, with Ranch dressing for dipping.

It was impressive.

The presents accumulated at the far end of the table

The birthday boy was so tired from the ongoing festivities that, upon arrival at the venue, he had to be put down for a nap in my room.

We ate then, enjoying every morsel and one another's company.

After the meal was cleared off, Rhett woke up and was seated in his special little chair for his own dinner.

That's what I like to see: lots of colors on the plate

He lustily consumed his private repast and, as usual, did an excellent impersonation of a bottomless pit. There was milk in his sippy cup.

I made coffee and we decided that it was time to dig into the little cake Erica had made, with matching cupcakes.

First, Rhett got his serving of cake. Having already proved himself a world-class chow hound, he picked it up in fistfuls and shoved it in as though he had not eaten in a week.

Rhett has joined the chat

I'm pretty sure we enjoyed watching him eat that cake as much as he relished putting it away.

And no doubt he would have eaten more, but after two pieces, his mother cut him off.

After cleanup of the guest of honor, we repaired downstairs to the TV room, for presents.

Rhett certainly gets the party up on its feet

Erica had carried all of Rhett's gift bags and boxes down there and arrayed them, along with a few he'd already opened on Friday night.

That's when I went into the front room and retrieved his main gift from TG and me: a Little Tikes ride-on pirate ship.

TG had put it together ahead of time.

His witty gentleman-themed cupcakes were on display

I'm not just saying this: Rhett registered pure delight over that toy, from the moment he saw it. His daddy put him in the driver's seat and although his feet don't yet touch the floor (they soon will), he grinned when he was pushed along and right away got into the spirit of the thing.

He thrilled to the toy pirate in the crow's nest and immediately tasted it.

There is a button to push, causing piratey sounds to emanate from above the Jolly Roger sail.

This is how he looked for his first Christmas

It was a big hit and I thought, well now, that's a slam-dunk present for the first birthday of a pirate grandkid.

But he had so many other precious gifts! Toys and books and clothes and so forth and so on. The whole enchilada. Such fun.

Erica read aloud each of Rhett's cards before opening the gift they came with.

We don't have a birthday party in this house without the banner and the flamingo

She came to the present from Audrey and Dagny, and tore open the enclosed envelope.

Audrey had showed me the card beforehand, telling me that she paid more for it than she normally would, because she loved it so much.

She indicated that the card with its sweet message had grabbed her by the heart and failed to let go in time for her to pick a cheaper one.

This was not a smash cake, but it was smashing nonetheless

Erica began to read. By the third line, she had choked up and her voice would not work anymore.

I looked over at Audrey, whose face had crumpled into tears.

Tears sprang to my eyes. Erica handed the card to Chad.

This little baby has come a long way

He picked up reading the sentiment aloud where his wife had left off, but within half a dozen words, his voice stopped working too.

I think the only dry eyes in the room were Dagny's (although I'm not entirely sure about that) and Rhett's -- oblivious to the surfeit of emotion on his account, he kept playing with his toys, crawling enthusiastically from one to each of the others, then circling back.

Erica says she may hang this up in Rhett's room

Eventually we composed ourselves and continued with the party. I guess we're all a bunch of suckers for commercial greeting cards but what are you going to do?

After every gift had been opened and discussed and admired and shown to Rhett, the many new duds were stowed away and everyone decided that it was pool time.

Rhett sensed the mounting excitement as he played with one of his balloons

Our weather has been sweltering, scorching, so humid that it truly approaches being a bona fide phenomenon. It's impossible to enjoy it except in abundant shade (and then only for a few minutes) or in the pool.

The water is nearly ninety degrees.

Chad and Erica and TG and Rhett got in. Dagny sat poolside, in shade, with a special apparatus on her casted leg that allowed her to put both feet into the water.

The cake was brought forward in preparation for being served

How we are looking forward to that Labor Day swim, when she can once again splash and snorkel!

Next Monday she will be outfitted with her walking cast. A step in the right direction.

Rhett has a new floatie that is supposed to resemble a stingray, but it really just looks like a super-cute baby in an inflatable indefinable creature, with a canopy over his head. He loves it.

Ah! So THIS is what all of the fuss has been about!

The tiny craft positions him forward, so that his legs trail behind him. He's learned to kick them and make himself go. I wish you could see that.

I sat outside on the swing for a while, drinking an ice-cold A&W Zero Sugar Root Beer, but soon enough I retreated inside to be cooler.

Rhett took to his pirate ship like he'd been waiting for it all day

Eventually our guests began to talk about going home. (I must admit that I was glad to see the party winding down; I needed to sit quietly someplace where it was very cool.)

Everyone helped Erica and Chad dismantle the decorations and pack up all of their things.

Their SUV storage area was stuffed to the top like for a camping trip, minus the tent and mosquitoes.

The greatest gift on any birthday is love

Rhett, in his new front-facing car seat, fell asleep on the ride home and went straight to his crib upon arrival, to continue an exhausted late-day nap.

While he was snoozing, Erica arranged all of his new toys in the living room so that he could play with them as soon as he woke up.

And he did wake up, and he did play -- and play and play and play and play -- with his new toys.

Rhett squeezed every last drop of fun out of his first birthday

Stoked from an excess of sugar and excitement, he didn't go to bed again until eleven thirty.

And so the first birthday of our youngest grandchild is in the books, and it was memorable, and we all have precious memories of the occasion.

I remarked at one point that, when our children had their first birthdays, we would go to the zoo as a family and, at lunchtime, put a candle in a Twinkie and sing to them. That was the extent of it.

It's hard to believe but he will only get cuter

Times have changed.

Our prodigious penchant for pirate parties being what it is, I don't see it ever changing back. We'll keep on celebrating life in as zealous a fashion as the occasion calls for.

As it should be.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Monday

The crust of the matter

She came through it like a champ and has a neon yellow cast to prove it

Profuse pirate apols for being absent so long. I have been busy summering and have neglected you.

To begin, as so many have asked after her: Dagny is doing great.

She endured with bravery the break in her tibia being set a week ago, and was none the worse for the experience. Her new cast is neon yellow.

On that day I had invited everyone to come over for supper, as I wanted to try my hand at making pizza with a low-carb crust.

Here it is, all baked up and waiting for toppings

I had found a recipe for pizza crust using almond flour, which has a negligible carb count, and as most pizza toppings are extremely low in carbs as well, I thought we may have a winner.

A trip to the grocery store was warranted and I suggested that Audrey and Dagny meet me there after her appointment with the pediatric orthopedist.

We love to shop together.

I arrived first and sure enough as I came around the end of an aisle to proceed into the next one, I saw Audrey coming towards me, pushing a cart containing a bright-yellow casted Dagny.

Tomatoes, mushrooms, sausage, fresh mozzarella, and pepperoni await their time to shine

My granddaughter was happily brandishing a Starbucks venti caramel and chocolate something or other, the purchase of which her mother quipped had been motivated by mom guilt.

Enjoy every drop of that, Dagny, I said. You've earned it, and then some.

She just grinned, full of sugar and still feeling the effects of a mild painkiller.

The doctor said to come back on August second, at which time Dagny can put her crutches at the back of a closet -- or pitch them into the lake -- because on that day he will fit her with a walking cast.

Off brand perhaps, but thick, spicy, delicious, and forever in my cupboard

She will have to start third grade on August sixteenth wearing that cast, but he promised that she will be able to swim on Labor Day.

That's our last summer get-together, on which we have a big party and celebrate our Stephanie's birthday.

I'll be looking forward to it even more than usual this year.

After I'd purchased everything I'd need for the pizza, plus the other things on my list, I settled up at the till (managing to keep both arms and legs but having briefly contemplated the necessity of selling some of my jewelry) and we parted ways.

The finished product, which I will likely never make again

Everyone would be at my house several hours later for the meal.

The low-carb almond flour pizza crust was super easy to make. Its consistency is a lot like wet sand. It is sticky but not hard to handle; you just have to use parchment paper.

As in, I lined my large jellyroll pan with the paper and dumped the dough onto it. Then I added another layer of parchment paper and began coaxing the dough to the edges.

It took a few minutes but soon enough there was a genuine pizza crust ready for the oven.

Browned Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage mixed with pizza sauce

After baking, it cooled for a long time while I got my toppings ready.

I'd planned to make a low-carb pizza sauce using this recipe, but soon realized that the canned and jarred pizza sauces contain fewer carbs than the tomato paste which is the base of the low-carb version.

That making no sense to me (because I would have had to buy some costly spices too), I bought an inexpensive canned version which turned out to be so delicious, I will be stocking it in my cupboard from now on.

With only two net carbs per one-fourth cup of sauce, it's a winner on every score.

Next: well-drained tomatoes and mushrooms

As the time approached for my guests to arrive, I spread the sauce thickly on my low-carb crust. I added fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, pepperoni, discs of fresh mozzarella, parmesan, and red pepper flakes.

I wait until the pizza is baked to add a light layer of feta cheese to the top.

In due time we were all around the table with generous helpings of low-carb pizza on our plates. I had also made a baked macaroni and cheese because the children love it so much.

I took a bite of my pizza. Ugh. I hated it.

When it comes to cheese, two kinds are better than one

Looking around the table at everyone tasting their pizza, I was filled with fear. No one looked up; they were either too busy eating or they were afraid to look at me lest I see the horror in their eyes.

I think TG was the first one to say that he thought the pizza was delicious. He went for a second helping. Everyone else (besides me) agreed that they were enjoying their meal immensely.

If you don't like pepperoni, you're going to add something else at this point

Here's the thing: I just don't like the taste of almond flour. I already knew that, having used it in another recipe a few months back, but I'd hoped that as pizza crust, combined with the spicy toppings, I wouldn't notice the taste as much.

I was wrong, but as far as I can tell, no one shares my opinion. Erica asked for the recipe for my crust. TG said again that although the crust wasn't like regular pizza, the toppings were so good that he wouldn't mind if we had the almond flour crust all the time.

Wearing a robe of parmesan with a few red pepper flakes and ready for the oven

Audrey said she loved it. Dagny devoured hers. Chad did not complain, but then he wouldn't.

However, I doubt that I'll make it again. I have another recipe for a low-carb pizza crust using coconut flour, and I want to try that because I love the taste of coconut flour. 

Until that time though, I decided to further develop a concoction I've put together before, and always loved: crustless pizza.

Now, up until this time, I'd done that by merely coating the bottom of a baking dish with pizza sauce and adding pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, sprinkling the top with parmesan, and baking it until bubbly.

President is the only brand of feta I'll use

It's delicious and honestly, you don't even miss the crust. I had made that mainly as a snack rather than as a meal.

But, having given myself several days to get over the disappointment of my almond flour crust experience, I decided to dig out and dust off the crustless pizza concept, and zhuzh it up a bit.

So here's how I did it.

I browned a pound of Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. After it was thoroughly drained, I mixed it with a jar of pizza sauce and spread it in in the bottom of my baking dish.

Baked to bubbly. It doesn't take all that long.

To the top of that I added -- again, completely drained of their liquid -- fresh tomatoes and mushrooms.

The next layer was a mixture of shredded mozzarella and sharp cheddar cheeses.

After that I added a thick layer of pepperoni, and sprinkled a liberal amount of parmesan on top of that.

Into the 350-degree oven it went.

Add the feta because when it comes to cheese, more is more

When it was bubbly, I brought it out and shook a lot of feta over the top. (President is the only brand of feta I will use. Erica gets it for me at Costco and I pay her back.)

Y'all. This is legit. (Low carb for those who care, but you could serve warm pizza bread along with it, for those who don't.)

I guess to be honest I should point out that it's really more like a pizza casserole. It's thick and satisfying, tasty and spicy and so totally pizza-like in taste, but casserole-like in presentation.

Now I need to point out that although this recipe is extremely low in carbs and of course gluten-free in case that is a concern, it is high in fat and calories, and probably sodium too.

A tasty and satisfying supper

If you're counting carbs, as a rule you don't count those other things. If you are counting those other things, this is probably going to be too rich for your blood.

But I pay attention only to carbs, and for many reasons, it works for me.

I will say though, that a relatively small portion of this crustless pizza is filling and satisfying enough that I could not imagine having seconds.

So that's my (unoriginal, but still) contribution to the world of low-carb living: pizza with almond flour crust, with coconut flour crust (which I have yet to try), and with no crust at all.

At church a week ago Sunday with her first hard cast, and on crutches

I hope you have not been bored to tears with my description of these myriad pizza adventures.

Because if all else fails, Hungry Howie's is right around the corner, with virtuous thin-crust pizza on the menu.

Next: Baby Rhett's first birthday party! This coming Saturday, right here!

You know I will tell you all about it after the fact. Meanwhile, I'll make the rounds and find out what all of you have been up to.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Monday