Our Bad ... Tree, That Is

Happy August! I do not like August. It is too hot in August. Happy August!

In other news ... we have, as they say, a situation.

A situation involving a tree.

A situation involving a tree in my front yard.

Allow me to elaborate.

I do thank God that no one was hurt. Only, now I have terrible guilt. David's keys were on the kitchen counter the whole time.

Last Saturday I was taking some rigorous exercise that included walking up and down the fifteen steps that lead to (and from) my front door. Again and again. Until I was like to die of exhaustion. Ten times in all ... do the math, y'all. In between bouts of stair climbing I trod a loop comprised of my front walk and the top fourth of our semi-steep driveway, and back. This allowed my legs time to feel like legs once more, rather than very heavy noodles, before I had to take the fifteen steps again.

Meanwhile The Gregory (a/k/a TG), assisted by Andrew (who was home for the weekend) was doing some yard work. I'm sure they both thought I looked funny.  Ask me if I care.

On one of my loops down the walk and up the driveway supported only by heavy (but nicely tanned, if I do say so) noodles and dogged determination, I noticed something. A very tall and mature hickory tree to the right of our driveway was in desperate need of pruning. One of its lower limbs, laden with hundreds of bright-green bulbous hickory nuts, was grazing the ground. The tree, which is probably sixty feet tall and stands on a slope, was leaning toward the street even more than it usually does.

"That tree right there needs pruning," I said to TG as I headed for the steps again. I pointed helpfully, panting.  A drop of something might have dripped off me.

TG glanced toward the tree. "Oh really. Hmph."  ... (standard-issue TG response).

Yeah. Really. Hmph.

Fast forward through the sweat and humidity of a South Carolina last-week-in-July to yesterday. I had done my draconian stair-climbing routine several times in the morning. My reward was a refreshing hour in the pool before getting ready to go out for the evening. I was home alone. I had piped Josh Groban outside and was floating blissfully, improving my tan, when I heard a very strange cracking sound emanating from ... somewhere. Where? Out front? Up above? The next yard?

I looked up at the massive oak, home to a million cicadas and a thousand frogs, that towers over our domicile. I heard the cracking noise again but didn't see anything amiss. Craaaack. I looked over at our neighbor's house. Was he doing something over there, making that funny noise? Please stop! All I saw was a bird sitting on his roof. The bird could not have made the cracking noise, could he? Something told me not.

Craaaaack crack! I looked up at our roof. This time it sounded like someone was up there with a big whip, whipping away. I checked to see if someone had gotten onto our roof and was whipping it. Nope. The only thing on our roof was a few twigs that had dropped from the oak.  It was very windy yesterday.

I never once thought of the leaning hickory tree to the right of our driveway.

The cracking noises stopped. A few minutes later I went inside. I took a shower. I ate a salad. I brushed my teeth. I put on makeup. I went to my room, which is in the front of the house, to dress before blow-drying my hair. I put my skirt on. I had my top in my hand. And that's when I heard it ... a final Crack! and a dull but decisive thud.

I looked out my window to confirm what I already knew. The hickory tree had fallen. Luckily our driveway is long and the tree's upper branches did not reach into the street.

Only problem was ...

(Click on the picture to see more!)

... our nephew, David, who lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, is in town for a few days to help TG with a huge job. They are both painting contractors. David had parked his truck in our driveway (where else?) ... and now there is a tree on his truck.

A sixty-foot-tall hickory tree.

Sorry David! Love you, buddy. Calling Allstate as we speak!

I do thank God that no one was hurt. Only, now I have terrible guilt. David's keys were on the kitchen counter the whole time. If I hadn't been so intent on getting ready to go out, maybe I would have had the presence of mind to connect what I saw on Saturday with what I heard while I was in the pool. Maybe I would have gone outside and observed that the tree's trunk was cracking in a horizontal fashion approximately two feet up from the ground, and was about to fall. Maybe I would have then taken thirty seconds of my precious time to move David's truck and the tree wouldn't have fallen on it.

Too late.

Better deal with life's little situations when you see them developing, y'all. Before they become big situations, that is. 

Don't wait.  Do it now!