Bounce Knows No Borders

I am holding in my hand a small and very sweet-smelling little card and the envelope it came in. This tiny missive greeted me a few weeks ago when I opened a new box of Bounce™ dryer sheets. The envelope was sealed with a round orange sticker emblazoned with the word "Bounce" (duh), and it was lying on top of the stack of 246 fragrant fabric-softener-impregnated tri-folded stiff webby opaque rectangles, where I would be sure to see it. The envelope was not addressed to anyone in particular, but I figured since I had paid for the box of Bounce, the little card was meant for me. So I opened it.

It read: "Dear Friend, At Bounce, we believe even the little things should brighten your day. So on our 35th US and 31st Canadian anniversaries, we'd simply like to thank you for choosing Bounce. Thank You! Everyone at Bounce."

On the back (or the front, depending upon your perspective) the same card read: "A notre fidele clientele, L'equipe Bounce est d'avis que ce sont les petites attentions qui rendent nos journees plus agreables. Pour souligner notre 35^e anniversaire aux Etats-Unis et notre 31^e anniversaire au Canada, nous aimerions donc vous remercier d' avoir choisi Bounce. Merci! De l'equipe Bounce."

Now, isn't that just special? I wonder who thought of that, and whether they got a half-day off for it. I mean, when I am doing my laundry, a short sentiment of appreciation from my fabric softener goes a long way toward lifting my mood. Yes, I really am that easy to please. No, I don't expect you to believe a word of that.

And who knew Bounce, the fabric softener, was spelled the same in both English and French? I would have thought up in the French-speaking part of Canada, where my sister lives, the bright orange box of fabric softener would be named "Boncee" or something like that ... but I guess not. Even if the Bounce boxes sent to French-speaking Canada are printed all in French (which I strongly suspect they are), maybe Everyone at Bounce felt like making only one card to include in the boxes, no matter where the boxes were bound for. Up north, down south, either way ... one card to brighten everyone's day.

I suspect that my box might have been misrouted or misprinted or both, however, because there is a white stamp on the end panel that says "Canada" followed by a long line of numbers ... hmmmm ... is there any chance my Bounce was made in Canada but didn't want to stay there for the winter? Now that, I can understand. Even if it is warm in the dryer, you have to sit a long time in the box awaiting your turn ... and then you are in for a long cold winter in the trash. There is just no getting around that, folks. Who says fabric softener can't migrate, like honking geese? If hummingbirds, which weigh about as much as a Bounce sheet, can make it from South Carolina to South America, Bounce sheets, with a modicum of extra effort, can surely make it from Canada to South Carolina. Clearly mine did!

Oddly however, if you inspect the box of Bounce (which I actually did so you wouldn't have to), you notice that there are indeed two languages on the box ... but neither of them is French. One is English (I got that with no help) and the other is Spanish. We are encouraged to "Discover Bounce freshness in new places" or to "Descubra la frescura de Bounce en nuevos lugares." It is impossible for me to tell, however, whether the two sets of dark-stockinged feet depicted on the back of the box are English-speaking or Se Habla Espanol. I will attest that neither appear to be French.

Both pictures show a dark pair of socks on feet crossed at the ankles. Under the picture on the left, in which the socks are marred with unsightly (and unidentifiable) splotches of what I must assume is lint and hair (otherwise what is the point of their appearing on the box?), the caption reads "No fabric softener • Sin suavizador de telas." Clearly not the way you want to go, because the under the picture on the right, the same socks are magnificently dark and free of lint and hair. The caption under that picture says it all: "Bounce." All this and a personal thank you note! No translation necessary.