Objects In Mirror Are Younger Than They Appear
Friday, October 12, 2007 at 12:24AM I have a lovely friend, a lady ten years or so my senior, who lives in a distant state. I saw her a few months ago, quite unexpectedly, and was reminded of a funny story she told me several years back. She and her husband had gone out to eat at one of their favorite restaurants. They arrived ahead of the dinner rush and were shown immediately to a large dining area. They had not been seated long when her husband left the table for a moment, and as my friend sat looking around, sipping from her water glass, she noticed an elderly lady sitting alone at a table across the room. The lady looked vaguely familiar but my friend could not put her finger on the reason.
As she covertly stared she became aware of something very strange. "Why, that old woman is wearing the same dress as me!" my friend thought, alarmed. How embarrassing! She decided to find the hostess and ask to be seated in another dining room. As she rose from the table, she noticed that the old woman across the room, wearing the same dress, got up at the same time! And then she realized: all that was across the room was a mirror. The "old lady" was she: my friend (who does not look at all like an old lady).
"We both sat back down in total shock," she relayed to me of the experience. "I didn't know I was an old lady. When did that happen?" I laughed and kidded her about it ... I could afford to several years ago. Actually it wasn't the first time I had heard of this kind of thing. A pastor friend of mine told me once that he had been keeping to a very busy schedule of travel and other commitments, and he was tired and run down.
One day he was walking into a restaurant to meet some folks for lunch when in the glass entryway he saw a reflection of a rumpled and haggard man. He felt sorry for the man for a few seconds and wondered what was troubling him, before coming to the realization that he was that man. For several moments he had not recognized himself!
I have yet to have an experience like that of my friend and my former pastor, but since turning 50 earlier this year I have begun to have serious issues with what is reflected back at me in the mirror. I spend as little time as possible in front of the mirror, but to avoid being an embarrassment when representing one's family in public, or just generally scaring people on your random travels, the music must be faced at least once daily.
It takes me one hour and fifteen minutes to get ready to go somewhere, from stepping into the shower to stepping out the door. About a half hour of that time is spent gazing directly into a mirror, and that block of time is becoming harder to deal with almost by the day! I have come to call it "preparing the remains for viewing." Appropriately morbid.
To add insult to injury, my eyesight that began going downhill when I turned 40 is now nearing the bottom of the hill. I need magnification for everything. My makeup mirror has a strong light and two sides: 5X magnified and "normal." "Normal" no longer looks normal, unless you consider it normal for your features to be blurred. In order to accomplish anything requiring precision, such as the application of liquid eyeliner, I have to get within a fourth of an inch of the 5X mirror ... and sometimes I even have to wear glasses on top of that! Have you looked at your wrinkles and pores in a 5X mirror lately? It is anything but a heartening sight.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am the only one who looks at my facial features in strong magnification, because if I don't I'll lose my nerve and never leave the house again. When I am not looking in the mirror, I feel like a girl of sixteen. The moment I look in the mirror, somebody's grandmother has broken into my house and is staring back at me. My granddaughter's grandmother, to be exact. And as much as I love my granddaughter, this is unsettling. Because as far as age was concerned, I never regarded either of my grandmothers as anything but old.
So I fight. I huffed and puffed through a two-mile walk this evening. I watch what I eat. I never go to bed without washing my face and applying night cream. I use sunblock religiously. I recently bought some stuff that is supposed to conceal dark undereye circles (for which I could be the national spokeswoman) PLUS reduce the look of fine lines around the eyes. It's not working. A few days ago a good friend stared at me in astonishment and demanded to know if my husband had hit me! Uhm, no, I assured her ... don't you see him standing right here beside me? Surely you know if he had hit me, he'd be dead!
She had an eagle eye on my dark undereye circles though, and she wasn't going to let it go. She said it looked like I had a black eye! I was tired, is all! What a treat to be told in such a tactful way that your "concealer" is actually a 5X mirror in a tube! Put it on and you look much worse! That's just great; by all means give me a case of that stuff.
I know I'm going to get old and die someday. Thank God I know where I'm going to spend eternity; that's settled. But I do not plan to go gently into that good night. Not as long as there are cosmetics (some of which actually work) and I know how to use them. Some might see this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay (who died at the age of 58) as maudlin, but I see it as triumphant. It expresses my sentiments right down to the letter.
Thou famished grave, I will not fill thee yet, / Roar though thou dost, I am too happy here; / Gnaw thine own sides, fast on; I have no fear / Of thy dark project, but my heart is set / On living -- I have heroes to beget / Before I die; I will not come anear / Thy dismal jaws for many a splendid year; / Till I be old, I am not to be eat. / I cannot starve thee out: I am thy prey / And thou shalt have me; but I dare defend / That I can stave thee off; and I dare say, / What with the life I lead, the force I spend, / I'll be but bones and jewels on that day, / And leave thee hungry even in the end.
Reader Comments (2)
Sigh. I am right there with you. 54 this year and I told my walking buddy that this must be the year that I either win the fight against the aches and pains and weight gain or I will just give in. So I've started running (did you get to that post yet?) which is hilarious in itself. It remains to be seen who wins, my determination or Father Time.
Sue O ... I'm right there with you. Won't go down without a fight.