Bring Me That Horizon

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
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That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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« Peach out, homie | Main | One of these things is not like the others »
Thursday
Jun212012

Tilt or wilt

OK so we have this outdoor furniture and like most of similar such equipment, it is outfitted with a great big umbrella.

Of course I prefer the word bumbershoot to umbrella.

Although I do like the word umbrella, how often does one get to say bumbershoot?

Rarely, in my experience. It's the sort of word that just has to be blurted out.

But I do believe if I am not mistaken, that the word bumbershoot is commonly meant to denote the handheld type of device that keeps rain off you.

As opposed to the large, elaborately anchored apparatus -- usually situated in the middle of a table designed for al fresco dining -- intended to keep the sun off you.

Anyway, be that as it may, last summer toward the end of August I told TG we needed to replace our sunshade umbrella as it was looking tattered.

So off we went to Sam's Club and found exactly what we wanted, and I was excited because on the picture that was attached to our new umbrella, it was tilted.

Our old umbrella did not tilt. You had two choices: open or closed.

The rakishly tilted umbrella picture spoke to me of a certain continental sensibility.

Something somehow chic and sophisticated, out of the ordinary. Sort of Riviera-ish, South-of-France-ish. Aren't all the umbrellas tilted there? Because they are copying what we do in South Carolina?

I will thank you not to snicker.

At any rate last summer when we got our new umbrella home and TG installed it, I immediately requested that it be continentally tilted.

And it wasn't his fault at all but he couldn't figure out how to tilt it.

He told me as much and that sent me running for the large, brightly-colored card that had been attached to our new umbrella when we bought it.

I read every word of the card, both sides, all four languages -- and YES, for your information one of them was French -- and found nary a syllable pertaining to the tilting of our newly-acquired umbrella.

TG peered and probed and snatched the card from my hand and perused and peered again and came up with nothing.

Our umbrella remained in one of two positions for the rest of the summer: open or closed. We were tiltless. And when the fall came, TG closed it a final time and stowed it in the garage.

So about three weeks ago we hauled our umbrella out and set it up and opened it. As opposed to leaving it closed.

I tried not to think -- or be bitter -- about the fact that it should tilt but didn't.

I often sit outside at the table with a soft drink, my phone, and my laptop, writing. And believe me, at certain times of day if your umbrella does not tilt, you will wilt.

But I was living with it, not wanting to be a nag, until the Bothertons moved in next door.

Now, Jim and Suzanne had an umbrella -- a dark green one -- on their patio and I noticed they'd left it when they moved. I never saw it tilted.

But the Bothertons? They brought with them an umbrella so fancy, so advanced, it makes a mere tilted umbrella appear hopelessly passe.

See --

Now who's a nosy neighbor? Mea culpa! Guilty as sin! But I had to show you, didn't I?

Anyway when I saw that, it was like throwing red meat in front of a hungry dog.

"TG," I said. "TG my love. I want our umbrella tilted and I want it tilted today. Savvy?"

I might have said it nicer than that.

Naturally my dearest love, squinting and scowling, hustled right over to said straight-arrow umbrella and began peering and prodding the same as he did last summer.

"Don't you just, like, push in right there?" I wondered out loud, pointing, only trying to be helpful already.

"Well no! Obviously you need some kind of a tool," was my darling's quasi-exasperated reply.

"But it didn't come with a tool!" I said, making every attempt to remain calm -- or what for me passes for calm, use your imagination -- but envisioning a second tiltless summer and barely able to tolerate the prospect.

"It only came with a card and the card didn't explain how to tilt it!" I reminded my inamorato.

"Go look it up on the Internet," he instructed.

(I look everything up on the Internet. I've probably looked YOU up on the Internet.)

I gave a dramatic sigh and stomped toward the house -- becuase that's just what I do -- and as I went I asked TG if our umbrella had a first name.

Like O-S-C-A-R, only not that.

Or a second name, like M-A-Y-E-R, only of course not that.

"Towa!" He shouted after me. "T-O-W-A."

I hotfooted it to my computer and in the Google search field I might or might not have typed: "How to tilt your Towa."

You won't believe!

The first result was an ask-type forum where in recent days someone had been a voice similar to mine, crying in the wilderness: "We bought a 10-foot Towa umbrella from Sam's Club. It's supposed to be tiltable but we can't figure out how to tilt it. There were no instructions. Any suggestions?"

And beneath it, an elegantly simple and excruciatingly reasonable solution:

"When it's fully cranked open, just turn the crank one more time and it'll tilt."

Oh.

I went back outside to where our umbrella stood, in the fully open position. TG had left the scene to do something else.

I grasped the crank and turned one time.

Tilt.

See? It pays to be cranky.

And now I shall not wilt for we have tilt.

Remember: Google your problems away!

And stay cool on this, the longest day of the year.

That is all.

Reader Comments (7)

Jim always told me, "when in doubt read the directions", but back in the dark ages when there
were no directions enclosed we didn't have internet to go look it up. I got my computer before he was gone and then he would just grin at me and say "go look it up babe". Haha. Yay for the internet. I'm addicted to say the least!! And so HAPPY that you now have *THE TILT* so that you dont WILT!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterglenda

Yay for the internet! The umbrella looks nice - and so much classier now that it can tilt!
I have to say you are way tougher than me - I would be wilting even under the umbrella. :)

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMari

I love it! " I shall not wilt for we now have tilt" But I do like the neighbors umbrella, but I think I might need to have more yardage.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterirene

LOL, I'm glad that the Botherton's provided you sufficient motivation to find out how to tilt your umbrella. I would have automatically Googled for the answer, but my quick reading showed that you were already on that track. You'd be amazed how many people think of me as intelligent because I answer their burning umbrella-tilt-type questions. Drat, now you know my secret!

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

OH, good job! : ) It looks oh-so-French now.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

I am convinced that you can find anything on Google if you can just figure out the right words to type into the search box. I'm always rescuing Jeff from mechanical dilemmas with help from Google.

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue the Hobbit

Motivation...Works every Time!Hahaaaa
Now...Where's the mint juleps? Baileys? Hahaaaa
Happy Weekend, Tilting!
hughugs

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna (Texas)

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