Site to Store ... what a bore

Even though I know better -- and then some -- I continue to do business with Wal-Mart, a/k/a The World's Largest Retailer (TWLR).

Don't look at me like that! You've done the same and you know you have!

But even in light of my angst-filled relationship with TWLR -- of which there is a glut of empirical data -- this latest example constitutes a new low.

Allow me to elaborate.

Recently I had occasion to purchase an item that was somewhat more exotic than I usually buy. It doesn't matter what it was.

Suffice it to say, this is the kind of thing you shop for once every five to seven years. In my case, it was the first time I'd ever bought one.

At such junctures I tend to research as many online options as I have the wherewithal to endure. Knowledge is power! This time was no different.

Well, maybe it was a little different.

Buy And Buy We'll Meet In Person

Be that as it may, reconnaissance mission accomplished and sensing a pretty good deal (although against my lone sane bone), I ordered the item via TWLR's Web site.

They have a would-be cool option called "Site to Store" in which you order the thing and it gets dropped off at your nearest TWLR outlet and you go get it when you're there to shop for other stuff, and best of all you don't have to pay shipping.

This way, TWLR can carry lots of enticing items for which they may not see the wisdom of paying someone to deliver in quantities and stock on their shelves at any given location (but which nevertheless anyone in the entire world might want to buy), and sell the merchandise at their customary handy profit.

The need for expensive demographic studies and market research to reveal where people are most likely to purchase what, and when, and so forth, is *poof* eliminated.

In other words, more victims with less hassle.

In theory.

What you as the consumer do is, you order the thing (and pay for it) online, and then you cool your heels. What you are waiting for is an email and/or a text message (usually both) informing you that your item has arrived at the store you specified and it's time to claim it.

Retail redemption, as it were.

In Which I Giveth And I Taketh Away

Of course, between the time you click "submit" and your order begins processing, and the point where you finally are told to show up and get your stuff, there is the potential for many many many days to elapse.

In my case, once I ordered my item via TWLR's Site to Store method, I couldn't leave it alone. I asked someone if I'd done the right thing.

They said they doubted it, a similar but better item for a nearly identical price being available (that very day) at a store practically in the same parking lot as my local TWLR.

Long story short: I went to the neighboring store and bought the similar but better item, intending to return my TWLR Site to Store purchase as soon as they notified me it was ready for pickup.

A few weeks went by. I was in the throes of thoroughly enjoying my new purchase when the text came.

The item I rued buying and which I no longer needed or wanted was available for claiming at my nearby TWLR.

All I will say about the experience of attempting to claim the merchandise and process the return -- something that should have taken about thirty seconds, armed to the eyebrows as I was with printouts of all the paperwork they'd bestowed upon me via email -- is that after twenty solid minutes it was still a non-starter.

Purchase In Haste, Repent With A Seizure

Because see, you can go back to where Layaway used to be at your local TWLR and now it'll be labeled Site to Store … and there's even a handy screen to touch, ostensibly to summon an employee to assist you … but you'll stand there growing considerably older -- not to mention more frustrated -- waiting for said phantom employee to appear.

I left the store without ever raising a single soul from TWLR-induced employee coma to help me do what I'd come there to do.

Practically a week went by before I was in the mood to hazard a second attempt.

This time I went straight to one of those little managerial-type rolling carts that you can usually spot up near the front. It was manned by a quasi-official person wearing a blue vest and a scowl.

I told the employee in a few succinct sentences what had happened the last time I tried to claim my purchase from Site to Store. I said I wasn't going to walk back there and wait twenty minutes a second time for someone to feel like showing up to help me.

And I meant it.

But not to be outwitted by a mere cash-paying customer, the powers-that-be-not let me wait nearly as long at the front of the store for someone to accompany me to the back of the store in order to "help" me.

HELP ME! I wanted to scream to the skylit rafters of my local TWLR.

But I didn't.

Mangle Your Battle Stations

It eventually took the eyes, brains, hands, keys, training, intuition, willpower, courage, and time of two managers -- one mid-range and one full-bore, from what I could tell -- and one "associate" to mash the few simple buttons that would allow me, the customer, to simultaneously claim and return an item I'd never even seen.

For all I know it doesn't exist. The whole transaction was in the ether and on paper.

And in the midst of all that, I came to this conclusion: the reason you can't get anyone to help you in Site to Store is because nobody (or practically nobody) at TWLR knows the Site to Store procedures.

My suspicion was confirmed when I asked the mid-range manager whether she and her employees were actually trained in Site to Store protocol.

Her shoulders sagged and she rubbed her forehead like there was a migraine brewing behind her pretty brown eyes.

"No," she admitted. "We hate it."

Not Poetic And Not Justice

I pointed out (not in a mean way) that at least they'd never have to worry about me bothering them again.

If I thought my clever half-threat all-promise would prompt her to say she was sorry for what they'd put me through, I was wrong.

Finally, in handing me my sheaf of pages and a receipt -- you know, the paper trail -- memorializing the entire mysterious Site to Store process, the beleaguered mid-range manager made a move to staple the loose leaves.

But there was no stapler for her to use. Apparently TWLR does not provide such truck to the employees working behind its many cash registers.

She handed me the papers in a sloppy coming-apart bunch, half-apologizing for the lack of a staple.

And there was my apology. I took it and ran.

Comments

[Skunkfeddahs]

Ain't tried that yet...I'm still afraid of getting bit by one of those 'greeters' and have their teeth stay on my arm...

[Jennifer]

@SF ... do like me and wither them with a glance.

[Mari]

I hadn't heard of this, and after reading your post, I have no plans to try it!

[Sue the Hobbit]

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, when will you ever learn? Mind you, I did do that S to S thing one time and it was terribly efficient for me. It's the only time I've set foot in a Walmart in the last five years. Maybe the problem is that they know they have you anyway, so why bother to be nice.

[Jennifer]

@Mari ... forewarned is forearmed! Of course for me, all online buying is fraught with anxiety. I don't know why I do it.

@Hobbit ... oh so you've had a good experience with S2S? Who knew? In this case I would've gladly sacrificed nice for efficient!

[Donna(Texas)]

Dollar Store honey...Dollar Store...They are Always glad to see 'ya!
Hahaaaaa
I would have been screaming BM!! You are tooooo kind!
hughugs

[Angel]

lolz Jenny~!..buyers remorse anyone?...happy Wednesday~!:)

[irene]

You poor thing. I can't imagine the frustration.