Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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I am a Blue Star Mother

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
  • Elements Series: Fire
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  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
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    by Danny Wright
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    Grace
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  • The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
    The Hymns Collection (2 Disc Set)
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  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Always Near - A Romantic Collection
    Real Music
  • Copia
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    Temporary Residence Ltd.
  • The Poet: Romances for Cello
    The Poet: Romances for Cello
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  • Nightfall
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  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
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  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
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    by Emily Dickinson
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  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
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  • The Amateur
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  • In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms
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  • Where Are They Buried (Revised and Updated): How Did They Die? Fitting Ends and Final Resting Places of the Famous, Infamous, and Noteworthy
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  • Gifts of the Crow: How Perception, Emotion, and Thought Allow Smart Birds to Behave Like Humans
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  • 11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative
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    by Paul Kengor
  • Mind of the Raven: Investigations and Adventures with Wolf-Birds
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  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
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  • The American Way of Death Revisited
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  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
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    Master Books
  • Architects of Ruin: How big government liberals wrecked the global economy---and how they will do it again if no one stops them
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Easy On The Goods
  • Waiting for
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    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
  • The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
    Bernie
    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
  • The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
    The Trip To Bountiful
  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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Tuesday
Oct092018

Extra credit

Looking over my recent photos of Chicago's historic Graceland Cemetery, I was reminded of having become entranced by a row of mausoleums.

Mausies intrigue me; functioning as little houses, they provide dedicated above-ground spaces for those interred within.

(The occupants are past caring, but it's a nice gesture.)

And I love it when they're lined up like soldiers, serious and straight, stoic throughout the ages, all but impervious to the weather and their surroundings.

Ninety-five times out of a hundred, the tiny buildings are locked up tight. I can never decide whether the locks are intended to keep the dead ones in or the living ones out.

Not that I want in.

Be that as it may, looking at my pictures reminded me of a story I meant to tell you and had temporarily forgotten to share.

So here goes.

Technically it's Audrey's story to tell but she told it to me and she doesn't have a blog so I gladly stand in the gap for you, my readers.

I may have one or two of the finer details wrong but in the end it won't matter.

You'll see.

The story involves something that happened to Audrey and Dagny last spring, shortly after they moved into their new house.

They'd gone outdoors so that Dagny could work off excess energy by riding her new scooter.

If Audrey were telling the tale, she'd reveal exactly how they got locked out.

I wasn't there and I can't remember what she told me, but the result is the same: Audrey realized at some point that she had locked her door and left her keys inside.

I'm pretty sure she had her phone with her but it wouldn't have done her much good to call her dad or me, or Andrew or Erica.

We didn't have keys to her house.

Thinking that she may be able to work her way in with a credit card -- it was worth a shot -- Audrey went to a neighbor and borrowed one. 

(Or at least, a plastic card just like a credit card. I mean, would you give a new neighbor one of your credit cards if they materialized at your door and asked for it?)

(Maybe I'm the suspicious type, but I wouldn't.)

At any rate, Audrey returned to her domicile and slid the borrowed plastic card into the space between the lock and the jamb, in an attempt to coax the door open.

But the more she tried, the more she realized that she was well and truly locked out. And that no card -- credit or otherwise -- was going to change it.

There were no windows to slide open either. The place was like a fortress.

Finally, knowing the hit her wallet was about to take but having no choice, Audrey used her phone to call a locksmith.

I wasn't there and I don't know what locksmiths normally do to get into houses when folks have locked themselves out. I assume they have tools that are made for that purpose.

But whatever the locksmith Audrey summoned possessed in the way of tools, and whatever tried-and-true tricks he knew, he too was unsuccessful.

As in, no matter what professional lock-breaching method he employed, he could not get Audrey's front door to budge.

At a loss, he asked if he could use the plastic card in her hand -- the borrowed plastic card she had not yet returned to her neighbor.

And so it was that, using the neighbor's plastic, the locksmith got Audrey's door open while she and Dagny watched and waited.

The locksmith required full payment of his fee for getting them back inside their house using the neighbor's plastic card.

I realize he'd been obliged to drop what he was doing and drive over there to help my daughter, who was in a considerable pickle, and for that he deserved payment, because it's his job.

But the entire amount? For getting in not with the tools he's trained to use, but with a plastic card she'd borrowed from the neighbor?

Yes. What do you think about that?

Here's what I think: I hope that for her money, Audrey requested a quick tutorial on how to open one's door with a credit card.

And then -- for extra credit -- I hope she replaces her current lock with one that cannot be opened with a plastic card.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Tuesday

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Reader Comments (9)

I like those mausoleums too, especially all in a row! They are rarely seen around here.
I think Audrey needs to come up with a creative spot to hide a key, just in case! Or get a door with a # your have to punch in. What a terrible feeling!

October 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMari

@Mari ... you are so right. Alas at the time, she hadn't lived there long enough to think all of that through. You never think it will happen to you until it does, and then you're like, duh. xoxo

October 9, 2018 | Registered CommenterJennifer

I would like to be buried above ground, but those masies are really expensive.
Here in Michigan there is a law that every casket must be lowered into a cement vault.
A heavy cement cover, with the deceased's name on it is lowered on top of the vault. This prevents water from seeping in, the casket degrading and the grave falling in.
So, when I am buried I will be sort of liked--canned--only in cement instead of glass.
I just hope when that Trumpet sounds and the graves are opened, someone will be there to get that heavy cement cover off me!!!!!

October 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

@Judy ... haaahaha girl, nobody will be needed. The word of God Almighty will be enough to bring you out of that grave. Hallelujah. xoxo

October 10, 2018 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Yep that's pretty much it!! I literally locked my door and as soon as I closed it I thought...wait...I don't have my key! AND my car door was locked - so no spare for me. Hence a long hot evening standing outside with a 4yr old waiting for a locksmith to get there and charge me $65 to use a Lowes' food card to get in my door. LOL!!!!

October 12, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Bob’s parents are buried in a mausoleum - the only one in a small country cemetery. His mother (before her death, of course) was afraid to be buried underground. She had a strong religious faith but perhaps was overwhelmed by claustrophobia? I called AAA a couple years ago because I locked my car with keys inside (with all my groceries inside too - on a summer day...) They sent two separate guys with gizmos that attempted to pry the window enough to reach an open button (much to Bob’s dismay). Both were unsuccessful. Finally, a locksmith arrived, and he made some kind of dummy key that worked. Audrey needs to find some “secret” place for a key or give a spare to family members. I bet the predicament made Dagny talk!

October 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

Oh my goodness, poor Audrey! And, I agree it's despicable that she had to pay the full amount. ugh

While I was gone I locked my keys in the car, and one day when I had taken one of my cousin's girlfriend shopping; we came out of the store and I had left the car running. Thank goodness, I hadn't locked the door which I usually do on the side panel. That is a story in itself. :)

I don't know why but when Judy mentioned the "cement" I thought about J*mmy H*fff***' amd that is another story in my brain. LOL

xoxo

xoxo

October 14, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersally

Well, I guess the guy deserves payment in full. If the card were on the ground, he would have looked around and seen it and used it. The payment is for opening the door. No restrictions on how. Now if she wants her money back, see if the credit card still works. If it was damaged then you have a case. That is my two cents. Hahahaha!

October 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

To Audrey, Barb, Sally, and Cheryl: Sorry it took me so long to see and approve your comments. I guess I've been out to lunch for several days and didn't even realize it. Haaaha. So, apologies. And now:

@Audrey ... yes that was an experience you won't soon forget. I hope you've figured out a clever-clogs place to hide a spare key. And like Mari said -- get you one of those combination locks like Andrew has on his front door. xoxo

@Barb ... I can understand your m-i-l's feeling about the standard grave arrangement being claustrophobic. What she didn't factor in is that the dead don't care ... but that being said, I'd love to repose in a sweet little mausoleum ... alas I think it's the grave for me ... there is never a good day or time to lock yourself out of anything, that's for sure. I locked myself out of my car years ago in Dayton, Ohio, of all places, on a winter day when I was running a court-filing errand for the Columbus law firm where I was a legal secretary. I was so embarrassed and TG wasn't exactly smiling when he drove 90 minutes to rescue me, haaaha xoxo

@Sally ... I lock my door on the side panel too! I read somewhere that thieves have a harder time getting into a locked car if you don't lock it with the fob as you walk away, which somehow they can intercept. At any rate, any time you get locked out, you feel like a dimwit. At least I do. xoxo

@Cheryl ... of course you're right, but somehow it felt like cheating, haahaa. xoxo

October 16, 2018 | Registered CommenterJennifer

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