Bring Me That Horizon

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

= Jennifer =

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

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Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

= Jenny the Pirate =

Hoist The Colors

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

= Ralph Waldo Emerson =

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Columbia Cemetery

To read my articles, click HERE! And don't forget to subscribe.

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
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That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999-2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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One Word, Luv: Curiosity
Thursday
Mar022017

Not without my effects

So it turns out my new dog isn't perfect after all.

He has a teensy-weensy flaw.

Or maybe we would be more accurate in describing it as a condition.

He suffers from a particular canine malady known as Pica.

Although we probably should not characterize him as suffering.

Because Rizzo glories in it.

To quote the Internet:

Pica is a medical issue referring to a dog's craving of a non-food item and the subsequent eating of that item.

Rizzo's got a king-sized case of Pica.

As in (I've reported this to you before) he loves to eat everything outside.

To include: pine cones, pine needles, tree bark, sticks, flowers, acorns, grass, leaves, dirt, and even rocks.

Yes; rocks. My dog is a rock star.

(I say this although I have never actually seen Rizzo ingest a rock. But I have seen him with a rock in his mouth and I'm pretty sure you'll agree that this begs the question: What's next?)

(Swallowing is what's next.)

But try ridding your yard of every one of those things! A massive White Oak towers over our house in front. The back privacy fence is ringed with conifers just as towering.

The climate is sub-tropical. This may as well be a jungle. And that means a 24-hour buffet for a dog with Pica.

I've had Rizzo for seven weeks and you don't want to know how much natural-type detritus I've had to clean off the back steps leading to the deck and pool, just outside our kitchen French doors.

Stuff he leaves there after he's done snacking: Chunks of wood. Flower stems. Half-eaten acorns. Mangled sticks. Remnants of leaves.

I tried going outside with him and barking Leave it! every time he even sniffed at something.

He just looked at me before playfully cavorting with another pine cone, or bringing a stick up to the steps for a nosh.

Rizzo! You'll get splinters! I admonished.

Splinters schplinters, his expression replied.

This from a dog who, when inside the house, will chew only on his own chew toys. He has never shown the slightest interest in a shoe or the leg of a table. 

Also he is housebroken. And I didn't have to do it, which is good, because I have no clue how to housebreak a dog. 

Like I said: He's all but perfect. Until it's time to go outside.

By the way: I do plan to tell the vet about Rizzo's unusual dietary propensities when it's time for a checkup. But I think you'll agree that to avoid an emergency visit to said small-animal medico, a stopgap measure was needed.

So now you know my problem. And I'll tell you how I solved it.

First let me say, I considered a muzzle. They're cheap and (I suppose) effective. Dogs can't pick anything up in their mouths while wearing one.

But neither can they sniff, bark, pant, or drink. Also they just generally hate it, not least because they love sniffing, barking, panting, and drinking.

And how would you like to wear a rubber muzzle every time you go outside?

No? I thought as much.

So, up on the Internet, click click click I went.

(I'm intrepid in the Google wars.)

And look what I found: The OutFox Field Guard.

It was made specifically to help dogs who live in California avoid entangling their snouts and ears in something called Foxtail Grass.

We don't have that in the Southeast. But the clever inventor had an Aha! moment when thinking about other dogs in other places who may not encounter Foxtail Grass but who have a weakness for feasting on local flora.

After reading testimonial after glowing testimonial, and even though the item was a trifle pricey, I ordered an OutFox Field Guard in Extra Small for Rizzo.

My reasoning was, it's about ten times cheaper (at least) than taking my dog to the vet with a rock in his belly.

I told Rizzo his pine cone-eating days were seriously numbered. He was grasping one between his paws at the time. I took it away from him.

He looked over beyond the pool, where approximately eight thousand six hundred thirty-nine pine cones lay on the ground.

And where, scarcely six months from now, a quarter-million fresh acorns will be underfoot.

I sighed.

A few days later, our OutFox Field Guard arrived. I sussed out the process involved in installing said device on my dog.

At first, I got it wrong. I attached the two Velcro straps under his collar correctly but didn't pull the elastic cords tightly enough.

Rizzo ran away downstairs to the TV room and by the time he was down there, the mask was flopping around his feet. Paws.

I tried again. I pulled the elastic tight and pushed the purple plastic toggle down towards Rizzo's neck. I put a finger underneath to test and make sure he wasn't strangling.

I opened the door. Rizzo stepped out onto the deck steps. He looked bewildered.

For at least twenty minutes he sat, barely moving, just staring. I worried that my actions had plunged him into deep depression.

I could almost hear him thinking: What will I do now for fun?

That was a short session. I removed Rizzo's Field Guard and stayed with him while he checked his messages and sniffed around a bit.

But after that? So easy, it's like falling off a log. I learned to put the Field Guard on him correctly (even popping a few treats down inside for him to eat) and he learned how to have fun even though he can't eat anything not placed by me inside the mask.

He runs around, sniffs, plays, tries to pick stuff up, realizes he can't, and moves on to something else. He has even figured out that he can drink from his outside water dish that I fill with the hose.

I've seen the Field Guard dripping.

Rizzo once more struts around the yard like a boss. A boss who can't endanger his own health because he's too dumb to leave rocks alone.

When he's tired, he sits and basks in the sun -- something he adores.

Now? When it's time to go outside, Rizzo waits patiently and even lifts his head for me to outfit him with his OutFox Field Guard.

I still occasionally put a treat or two inside for him to enjoy an al fresco snack.

It works like a charm.

How often do things work out so beautifully? 

Not as often as I'd like. But I'll take it.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Thursday :: Happy March

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Reader Comments (13)

So glad you found just the right thing for Rizzo. He looks content, and is not longer the subject of possibly harming himself. He's a cutie!

My brother's new dog, Bella, that they rescued from Texas, doesn't eat stuff outside, but she has the propensity of wanting to PLAY every second; I do not exaggerate. She'll bring whatever is handy to you and wants to play run and catch constantly. And, yes, she'll bring rocks also. If you start the playing game she never, ever wants to take a break. She also likes to jump in the pool. I can just see it now when the kids play next summer, in the pool, she'll probably have to be kept inside. :)

xoxo

March 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersally

@Sally ... Oh dear! Now, I will say, Rizzo does want to play when he's inside. But usually, he'll content himself for a long time with his toys. Then when he gets on my lap, he turns on his back and wants my hands to play with. If I deny him my fingers to nip at, it can get ugly, haaahaha. xoxo

March 2, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Ohhhhhhh.... lol..... I know, I shouldn't laugh, at Rizzo, or at you.... But you must admit, it is a funny story.

Amazing, that he only wants to do this picca-thing, outdoors. And wonnnnnnderful too!!!!!! I'd hate to have him have to wear that, all the time.

But you "let your fingers do the walking" on your keyboard, and solved the problem. Good Dog Mama!!!!! :-)

So happy he has gotten accustomed to the "Bee Keeper's Hat"!!! He is a smart little thing. :-)

Gentle hugs,
Luna Crone

March 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLuna Crone

Oh my Gosh! This is brilliant! So is the dog. He doesn't try and rip and tear it off--which I find quite amazing. How very cool and how smart are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

@Luna ... Haaahahaha if he ate stuff he wasn't supposed to inside too, I'd be up a creek without a paddle for sure. But he knows what he wants and if I have anything to do with it, he won't get it! xoxo

@Judy ... It is a miracle. Necessity is the mother of invention and this particular invention has a new child. So far so good ... he only tried to get it off once or twice and, finding he couldn't, he gave up. xoxo

March 2, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Oh Rizzo!
I think this is the sort of thing that only happens to you. It did make me laugh a little, but I'm glad you found a solution, and he looks quite content. I think you need to start writing these kinds of things down and publish a book!

March 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMari

@Mari ... Hahahaha maybe I should ... xoxo

March 3, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Back in the 1990's I had a dog that loved to eat pinecones. I didn't care except he would come inside and eventually up-chuck on the kitchen floor. I didn't have google then. So, I demanded that he leave them alone and he obeyed if I stuck with him.

I am glad that you found a solution. What would we do without Google? Rizzo looks cute with his Out Fox Guard on. Have a happy weekend!

March 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl Arment

@Cheryl ... Rizzo did regurgitate one time on a blanket the first weekend I had him. That's the first time we noticed he was eating acorns and pine cones. He kept eating but never spit up again that I know of. But I'm glad for the mask because lots of that stuff is toxic to dogs. xoxo

March 3, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

He is TO-DIE-FOR cute and almost even cuter with that silly thing onπŸ™ˆπŸ˜

March 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

@Anna ... He is! He really is that cute! Nothing can stop the cuteness. You know how it is! Haahaaha xoxo

March 11, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

I wonder if maybe Rizzo will be conditioned not to eat everything that comes across his path outside after he wears the hood for awhile? My friends used to train service dogs and their last one could not be finished to become the companion of a disabled person because he would eat anything left on the floor - socks, gloves, small stuffed animals, etc. They made many a trip to the vet, but he couldn't be dissuaded. Of course, they were careful not to let anything on the floor, but often a disabled person needs a dog that will pick up something they've dropped (and NOT eat it). Now the dog is a part of my friend's family. He has grown out of his need to eat inappropriate things and has been trained as a therapy dog - my friend takes him to schools and hospitals to visit. He is perfectly obedient and well-loved. Good Luck to you and Rizzo! PS It's snowing here - we leave for the beach in 24 days (not that I'm counting...)

April 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

@Barb ... I was hoping the very same thing! In fact, several times a day I do let Rizzo out for just a few minutes, without his mask. But if he's going out to "play" or bask, I don't dare because I have seen that he just can't resist munching on sticks. But he's so sweet about it, that I'm just glad we found the mask. I'm also grateful that he shows no interest in chowing down on any inedible thing (except his chew toys) while in the house. Therapy dogs are so wonderful. Yay for the beach! But I'll bet that snow is lovely, even if it's not an April Fool's joke! xoxo

April 1, 2017 | Registered CommenterJennifer

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