Bring Me That Horizon

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~ Born To Be Riled ~

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem."

Captain Jack Sparrow

One imagination at a time!

Don't shoot the messenger, babe.

Oh and I hope you dig snark-casm
because there's plenty on hand.

We should be in good shape as long as the Chanel No. 5, mascara, red lipstick, and Diet Coke hold out.

Can't write anything.

~ Jennifer ~

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

InfozGuide ‚Äč

Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

~Jenny the Pirate~

Hoist The Colors

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Columbia Cemetery

To read my articles, click HERE! And don't forget to subscribe.

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal!

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks
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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Psalm 1

Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine


The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."


And We'll Sing It All The Time
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  • Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    Danny Wright Healer of Hearts
    by Danny Wright
  • Dreams
    Dreams
    by Neil Diamond
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  • Bach - The Complete Brandenburg Concertos / Pearlman, Boston Baroque
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    by Johann Sebastian Bach, Martin Pearlman, Boston Baroque, Christopher Krueger, Marc Schachman, Daniel Stepner, Friedemann Immer
  • Lead With Your Heart
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    by The Tenors, The Canadian Tenors
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  • Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff
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  • Perfect Murder, Perfect Town : The Uncensored Story of the JonBenet Murder and the Grand Jury's Search for the Final Truth
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  • The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy
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    by James Trefil, Joseph F. Kett, E. D. Hirsch
  • The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson's Envelope Poems
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    by Emily Dickinson
  • Till I End My Song: A Gathering of Last Poems
    Till I End My Song: A Gathering of Last Poems
    by Harold Bloom
  • On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction
    by William Zinsser
  • Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
    Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Control Your Life and What You Can Do to Stop Them
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  • The Amateur
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    by Edward Klein
  • Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption
    Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption
    by Laura Hillenbrand
  • Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion
    Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion
    by Theresa Burke with David C. Reardon
  • Never Trust a Liberal Over 3-Especially a Republican
    Never Trust a Liberal Over 3-Especially a Republican
    by Ann Coulter
  • Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter's Dictionary
    Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter's Dictionary
    by Frederick Buechner
  • Ameritopia: The Unmaking of America
    Ameritopia: The Unmaking of America
    by Mark R. Levin
  • Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World!
    by Andrew Breitbart
  • Executioner, Pierrepoint
    Executioner, Pierrepoint
    by Albert Pierrpoint
  • Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-in-Training
    Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-in-Training
    by Tom Jokinen
  • Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits
    by Matthew Rolston
  • Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    by Todd Harra, Ken McKenzie
  • Things That Matter: Three Decades of Passions, Pastimes and Politics
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    by Charles Krauthammer
  • Good Dog, Carl : A Classic Board Book
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  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
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  • The American Way of Death Revisited
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  • In Six Days : Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation
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  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
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  • The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade
    The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade
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Easy On The Goods
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    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
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    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
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    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Knuckleball!
    Knuckleball!
    starring R.A. Dickey, Charles Hough, Phil Niekro, Tim Wakefield
  • Dodsworth
    Dodsworth
    starring Walter Huston, Ruth Chatterton, Paul Lukas, Mary Astor, Kathryn Marlowe
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
  • It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    It Happened One Night (Remastered Black & White)
    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
    Stella Dallas
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
    The Iron Lady
    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
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    starring Red Balloon
  • Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
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    The Major and the Minor (Universal Cinema Classics)
    starring Ginger Rogers, Ray Milland
  • My Dog Skip
    My Dog Skip
    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
  • Sabrina
    Sabrina
    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
  • The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
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    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
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    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
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That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ JAVIER ~

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

Simple. Easy To Remember.

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Sunday
Feb072010

Super Bowl Picketchard

Picketchard ... Original Recipe. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010Picketchard.

It's not a fence.

It's not a protest.

It's not a lottery game.

No ... no, and it's not a new football player ... or a new play.

Before we go any further, let me state unequivocally, and not for the first (or last) time: I don't do football.

The thought of attending a tailgate party excites me about as much as the prospect of watching "Turbo" Tim Geithner, clad only in Jockey shorts and a wifebeater, cheat on figure out his income tax refund using cut-rate software with Windows 95 on a laptop roughly the size of Janet Napolitano's hin lap.

The idea of listening to the pre-game show, wherein zillionaire former NFL stars wearing $4,000 suits and $800 ties sit around a desk harping on the minutest details of every team, every coach, every player, every play, every contract, every statistic, fills me with the same sense of wonder that envelops me when I pluck mini lint-blankets from the mysterious hole-y landscape that is my clothes dryer's screeny trap.

Her eyes widen. She staggers a little.

The thought of sitting through the actual Super Bowl game interests me about as much as watching a horde of geriatric snails demonstrate their snappy ambulatory technique.

The idea of being forced to witness the halftime show inspires the same kind of dread I experience when contemplating a trip to Wal-Mart at peak traffic time the Saturday before Christmas or Easter.

Like, not at all, y'all.

And again I say: I don't do football.

But I have nothing against fun food, the type of which folks often enjoy on happy, sit-around-with-friends kinds of days like Super Bowl Sunday.

A little buddy of mine at church often teases me about my love of hot dogs. "What are you having for lunch today?" she asks me nearly every Sunday morning as we head for our cars, and home, and lunch.

"Why, hot dogs, of course, Gail," I say with a straight face, even if we're actually having brunch at Harper's or bacon and eggs at Cracker Barrel or barbecued chicken with mashed potatoes, green beans, and cornbread muffins at our own table.

In other words, I lie (sometimes) ... in church ... just to see the expression on Gail's face when I say "hot dogs."

Her mouth falls open. Her eyes widen. She staggers a little. She clutches my arm. "HOT dogs again, on a Sunday, you just had hot dogs last week, I can't believe you like hot dogs so much, why do you like hot dogs so much, what kind of hot dogs do you buy, how do you cook your hot dogs, we don't eat hot dogs all that often ... "

My Little Buddy Gail. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

She's priceless.

Today, after answering (truthfully) that our lunch menu consisted of hot dogs, baked macaroni 'n cheese casserole, and two kinds of snack chips, and watching my little buddy run through the full gamut of emotions prompted by that astounding revelation, I assured Gail that someday I'd tell her the secret behind why we like hot dogs so much at our house.

What I didn't tell her was, once I tell her, she'll have to enter the witness protection program. She'll have to look over her shoulder for the rest of her life.

"Do you really want that, Gail?" I will ask when I finally decide to reveal the secret. Then I will howl inwardly at the half-amused-half-scared-serious expression which is sure to suffuse her cute little face.

But you? To you I shall reveal all, and let the chips (make mine wavy) fall where they may.

If they fall on the floor, Javier'll snap 'em up. No harm, no foul. Six points.

Serve with hot dogs and wavy chips.

The secret is picketchard.

You take a bowl ... it doesn't even have to be a super bowl. It can be a plain bowl.

You take some mustard and squeeze a bunch of it into the bottom of the bowl, until you're tired of squeezing.

You take some ketchup and you squeeze a bunch of that on top of the mustard ... about twice as much ketchup as mustard is best.

You take some large-dice sweet pickle relish and on top of the mustard and ketchup you plop several heaping tablespoonfuls of the pickles.

Stir well and heat in the microwave for a couple of minutes, until piping hot.

Serve with hot dogs and wavy chips. It's good on both.

Real good.

Picketchard.

And now you know.

Reader Comments (10)

See? Deep down inside, you actually DO do football. Lemme 'splain: your very use of the word "picketchard" is not only -- in the words of that supreme verbal gymnast, Tommy Smothers -- "psychoceramic", it defines THE key play of last night's Super Bowl: "Manning drops to throw...the pass...and THE SAINTS PICKET OFF AND CHARD 74 YARDS TO A TOUCHDOWN! WHO DAT!"

You had this in mind, all the time, didn't ya? ;-)

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers

@ SF ... WHO DAT sayin' I do football after all? Oh ... skunky ... well, when you put it that way it sounds rather reasonable! Interestingly enough, I DID see that long fast touchdown made by one of the Saints players (who dat?) after Peyton Manning threw an unfortunate interception. That was a vaguely exciting moment. BTW I just HAPPENED to be walking through the room when that transpired ... but you quoting Tommy Smothers? Priceless!

February 8, 2010 | Registered CommenterJennifer

For comedic sake, I was going to pretend I didn't understand the entire message of the first half of this post (You don't DO football) and ask you a dozen questions related to last night's Super Bowl game. But then I remembered that you are my friend and that I do not wish to have a bowl of picketchard tossed at my head from several states away.

I will give picketchard a try next time I have hot dogs. If it kills me, I promise not to blame you or haunt you from the great beyond.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkev

@ Kev ... LOLOL may I remind you we inhabit contiguous states, my man, and if I have to I'll throw a semi-long Paytonesque pass and you'll be picking picketchard out of your teeth for a week! LOLOL seriously, try some. I promise you'll like it. Good on hamburgers too!

February 8, 2010 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Um... yuck. But this isn't the best time to mention, well, food of any kind. I'm on soup and cough drops for a while. (Of course, everyone knows you put pickles on hamburgers, NOT hot dogs, lol! Well, everyone except the relish eaters. And my mother, who SUPPOSEDLY has a weak stomach, but actually EATS sauerkraut!)

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrosezilla

Yum, makes me want some right now...dripping off of a burger. That stuff is gold.

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

I'm late to the party, however....

There are a few things that if I could somehow be certain I would never have to do again, ever, I'd be perfectly fine with. One of those things is attending a football game. At any level. Anywhere.

Football just does not interest me. I work with a guy who finds that attitude utterly foreign. He cannot wrap his brain around my total apathy towards football. You'd think I'd have told him I wasn't interested in breathing.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJT

@ JT ... speaking of the party, welcome to it, such as it is. Now pass the picketchard ... oh and by the way, AGREED ... football ain't breathing. Not even a close second. I do not relate to those who seem able to wrap their brains around a football in the first place, not to mention wrap it around a football and virtually nothing else.

February 18, 2010 | Registered CommenterJennifer

Add some sliced velveeta and onions to that before it goes into the microwave. Tastes yummy and the cheese makes the concoction stick to the bun!

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris

@Chris ... I'll be sure to give that a try! Sounds wonderful.

March 22, 2010 | Registered CommenterJennifer

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