Children On Their Birthdays
Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 09:44PM Please do not infer from the title of this post that I am about to plagiarize Truman Capote. That would never occur to me and I will thank you not to smirk! It's just that I've been thinking a lot about birthdays as I am prone to do in March. Between TG, me, and our four kids, there are three March birthdays.
Go ahead and label me a curmudgeon! I've been called worse by better people.
Let me pull over here and park for a mo.
Have I ever told you how our family is split down the middle, the sheep divided from the goats? Well, it is. On the one side stand three cool, sensible, prudent, responsible, down-to-earth, principled, look-long-before-you-leap virtuous white sheep. They may not have actual halos but they are equipped with the necessary hardware should such become de rigeur for veal on the hoof.
On the opposite side are three hotheaded, stubborn, impetuous, vocal, emotive, opinionated, look-briefly-after-you-leap-if-at-all shiny, glossy black goats with large, dazzling smiles. The three goats were born in March. I'll let you decide which of us is which. We -- oops! -- they wear tiaras (more sparkle), except for Andrew (you already knew he was numbered among the goats), who favors swanky cufflinks.
Continuing on ...
Now that the March birthdays are behind us for another year, I've been thinking a lot about birthday parties. When our kids were growing up we eschewed traditional classmate-clotted, pinata-bludgeoning, tailless-donkey type shindigs in favor of family-oriented fetes on their birthdays. You know ... the kind where there is homemade lasagna and a gloppy Betty Crocker cake, and you are likely to receive socks as a present.
This was our habit mainly because I was too lazy to send out invitations, hate blowing up balloons, and don't want cake heeled into my carpet by children who never occupied my womb. Also I didn't want other parents buying presents for my kids any more than I wanted to pick out presents for their kids. I kept all that nonsense to a minimum on purpose.
Go ahead and label me a curmudgeon! I've been called worse by better people.
But as the girls grew up, somewhere I got the brilliant idea to give each of them a very special party on their fourteenth birthdays. Stephanie was first. In September of 1994 we planned an elegant luncheon and invited her three closest girlfriends: Jennibeth, Michelle, and someone else. I planned a light menu and displayed baby pictures of Stephanie, along with wee outfits she had worn as an infant, and some of her old toys. So charming! I pressganged Audrey into service as a waitress, a designation with which she was markedly less than whelmed.
Having gone to some trouble and wanting to do it up right, and always keeping a sharp eye for the teachable moment, I pulled Audrey aside toward the end of the meal and issued detailed instructions. "Now Audrey," I said, shoving a platter of food into her fingers (which were limp with apathy). "Go over to Michelle's LEFT side -- because you always serve from the left -- and ask politely if she would like more sandwiches. If she says yes, offer her the plate and wait while she takes some. If she says no, that she's finished, switch to her right side -- because you always remove dishes from the RIGHT -- and quietly take her plate. Okay?" I gave her a gentle nudge Michelle-ward.
Anxious to demonstrate that she considered the caliber of performance specified to be light years beyond her pay grade, Audrey did a slow saunter the length of the kitchen and approached Michelle's left side. Expressionless, she uttered two words: "You done?"
Audrey and Erica had girly luncheons to mark their fourteenth birthdays too ... at tea shoppes with waitstaffs comprised of trained professionals. Score one for the goats.
Reader Comments (6)
I love homemade birthdays! But we've had our share of puppet shows and clowns in the earlier years.
March is major birthday time in these parts too as both of my kids were born in late March along with my favorite uncle and two cousins. Must be something about spring...
Or June! LOL ... *snicker*
I can see and hear that one perfectly!
I know you can and I thought you might, Lyn!
Hey Cousin, I thought that I would let you know that you have picked up another fan. I have spent the last couple of weeks catching up on all your blogs since December! It was quite a treat; however, I hope that I can now get into the habit of relishing them one at a time. I hope you know that I have already been a big fan of yours for many, many (OK, not TOO many) years!! Love you, Donna
Girl, I can always use a fan. I'm not sure I'd call you "another" ... you may be the first! HAHA! You must have hired a good wedding planner if you've had time to do any reading in the last few weeks. Can't wait to see you on Amy's (and David's) special day!