Beware Of Shape-Shifting Luggage
Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 09:44AM While preparing a salad and some nice hot chicken tenderloins for TG's supper last night, I watched a few minutes of Airline ... you know ... the show that follows two or three actual airport dramas per 30-minute episode. "Drama" is the operative word here too ... sheesh y'all. Have you ever noticed that folks lose their tempers 75 percent faster in airports than in any other location except maybe at Wal-Mart? What's up with that? Case in point: the lady featured on yesterday's show who "lost" her "luggage."
There, innocently, sat the lady's suitcase.
According to the narrator, this apparently sane and sober woman was en route from New England to New Zealand. Up Yonder to Down Under, as it were. For some reason, while on a layover at LAX, she tried to claim her baggage which, according to her, had not actually made it from New England to LAX. She was H-O-T, and by that I mean M-A-D. While the poor guy behind the desk, one of Southwest Airline's finest, using a description of the lost item provided by its owner, valiantly and chivalrously attempted to locate her suitcase by calling airports thousands of miles away, the narrator informed we breathless and transfixed viewers that the bag in question was EVEN THEN going around and around, ALONE, on the snaky conveyor belt 30 feet behind the lady! The camera followed its sinuous progress for several seconds before panning back to the irate customer.
"That's it," she fumed. "I'm never going to use this airline again." Her glasses had steamed over from the sheer heat of her intense fury by the time a courteous female Southwest employee tapped her on the shoulder. Angry woman turned, looking as if she was ready to belt someone. Professionally cool airline representative pointed toward the space between her feet and enraged customer's feet. There, innocently, sat the lady's suitcase.
"What is that?" Agitated traveler demanded. "Isn't this your luggage?" Longsuffering liaison pointed out. "That's not my luggage," crazy lady replied. "Read the label here," patient shareholder tried again. "Isn't this your name?" She read the customer's identification tag from the suitcases's handle. Miraculously, the woman recognized her name.
"Can I hug you?" Suddenly happy camper requested. Hugs ensued. Both parties appeared thrilled but I suspect each had their distinct reasons.
"She told us her bag was green, but it was in fact brown," original chivalrous on-the-ball male Southwest associate informed the camera. "She didn't even recognize it when she saw it. She was pretty mad but the suitcase was there the whole time."
Now where did I put my glasses ... oh! They're on top of my head! I forgot what they looked like.
Reader Comments (4)
Hilarious! Shows the detrimental effects of anger. Anger plus stupidity = insanity.
Girl, as usual you are so right! This episode was priceless.
Hey, what happened to your Xanga? I was just checking mine, and it said you shut it down. :-(
Trish
Yeah ... sorry about that! I should have let you know but I thought maybe I'd send you an email. Something needed to give; maintaining two blogs was taking time I need to spend on finishing some writing projects. I hope you'll visit me here from time to time! Do you still have your other non-Xanga blog?